to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

[cupofcup]

I know retirement is not always easy and older people can have health issues, caring responsibilities etc. But I do think some people genuinely forget what it is like to juggle work, commuting, childcare, housework and just basic life admin all at once.

My DM is retired and will often say how busy she is because she has shopping on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Friday. That is apparently an exhausting week. She is in good health and active. Meanwhile most working people are fitting those things around 40+ hour working weeks.

My retired neighbour constantly comments on how awful another neighbour’s garden looks and how she should tidy it up. The neighbour she is talking about is a working mum with young children who leaves the house at 7am every day. My retired neighbour has a gardener.

Obviously NOT ALL retired people are like this at all. Some are incredibly understanding and helpful. But others seem to completely lose perspective on how relentless working life can be, especially with children.

I think we should all have consideration for each other - and that would include understanding when we are at a somewhat easier stage of life than some others.

Yo, Ma, maybe you've missed it but there's an energy and economic crisis on now. It's cheaper and more efficient to use technology and appliances to do chores. Why aren't you beating your clothes on a rock at the river, tell me that? Cheater.

She sounds like a critical micromanager and there's just no pleasing those types so do your thing.

I think this is a very balanced answer and likely also very accurate.

I also wfh full-time and have to check myself when i am surprised at colleagues being straight out the door after a end-of-day meeting (whereas i tend to finish up and do some set up for the next day). Then i remember they probably have children to pick up or a long commute. But its easy to forget that our own circumstances are not the same as others.

So the hell what?!

I am now officially an "oldie" and I am managing just fine. Doesnt mean it was fine when the kids were young. I didnt "get on with it". I got severe PND, I ended up with serious mental health problems for years as a direct result of being left to "get on with it".

So on the surface I may have just "got on with it" but underneath I wasnt. The swan gracefully traversing the river had two broken legs.

I hope your smugness is keeping you warn a'nights.

ETA I dont have a TV, do I win?!

I can't wade back through everything to find the comment now, but if you have a relaxed job that routinely allows you to post on MN in working hours and you genuinely know lots of people on their 60s and 70s who have a lot more energy than you do, then I would in all seriousness suggest that you should get your thyroid, liver and kidney function and your iron, vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels checked.

It was like that talking to SAHMs at baby group and school. Their definition of being busy was ridiculous. It’s not just retired people!

I agree with the OP. I'm 70 and still working part time 4 days a week. I have plenty of retired friends who think they're very busy though.

Kudos. I was OK until my parents died then it became obvious that I’d been running on empty for some time and I was done. I’m quite envious.

She wonders why I still haven't been round to the garden centre that is a 2 hour round trip yet.

I have better ways to spend the two hours!

Oh gosh, this is me! Retired 10 years, live on 2nd floor in block of flats with car park in front. Everyone has a nickname, a life story and a back story, when MOH pops his clogs, I shall buy a comfy recliner to live in by the window and be invaluable as a police informer.

Like create a ridiculous thread then send all afternoon checking it and replying to most messages instead of working. 🤣

But they’ve been there done that, got the pension! Why shouldn’t they enjoy their twice weekly appointments and trip to the garden centre?

My retired parents don’t get the concept of working from home. They want to come over for lunch and “help” me clean out cupboards or rearrange the shed, despite me constantly telling them I am wfh. If you are at home, you are free to do things - they really don’t get the concept at all.

I love you !

I retired at 49 after working in the city. I blimmin’ love it.

Nobody is saying that they shouldn't enjoy their twice weekly appointments and trip to the garden centre 🙄

I get you. But also at 58. I’m planning to drop a day next year as I am tireder. Work FT, gym 3 mornings a week, exercise class one evening. Garden, dog and house to look after, I like to cook, see friends, appointments…. And I see people who manage all that with kids!! I just don’t have the same energy.

Same here. DM will want a lift somewhere because I am WFH. Just doesn't get it!

Great that you are enjoying your retirement ❤

A modern day Miss Marple 😂

You know what I had sympathy with your viewpoint until this. Most people as they age develop forms of arthritis and pain. The odd one doesn’t and I’m ( 58) very much of the use it or lose it school of thought myself . But as you age it is much harder to do most things and you have to pace which is why they feel busy as they’re having to schedule in around rest. You don’t get it yet but you will.

I used to vaguely wonder what my mum meant when she mentioned her “aches and pains”. I know exactly what she meant now.

I was lucky my work allowed that but it did involve 30 years prior of selling my soul and 70 hour weeks minimum.

I found it hard initially- I felt work was a purpose and made me useful. Now I know being there for my family and having lots of fun is my purpose.

Just talking about my experience. The active retired people mostly have good energy and no pain and arthritis.

I am not saying older people shouldn't feel busy or need more rest. That is not what this thread is about at all.

People saying - you will get it, you will understand when it happens to you. Might, might not, might die before then or have a completely different experience. All old people are not having the same experience exactly.

You have no idea if they have pain or arthritis @cupofcup. Just because they don’t talk about it (I don’t either) doesn’t mean they don’t have it.