to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

[cupofcup]

I know retirement is not always easy and older people can have health issues, caring responsibilities etc. But I do think some people genuinely forget what it is like to juggle work, commuting, childcare, housework and just basic life admin all at once.

My DM is retired and will often say how busy she is because she has shopping on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Friday. That is apparently an exhausting week. She is in good health and active. Meanwhile most working people are fitting those things around 40+ hour working weeks.

My retired neighbour constantly comments on how awful another neighbour’s garden looks and how she should tidy it up. The neighbour she is talking about is a working mum with young children who leaves the house at 7am every day. My retired neighbour has a gardener.

Obviously NOT ALL retired people are like this at all. Some are incredibly understanding and helpful. But others seem to completely lose perspective on how relentless working life can be, especially with children.

It is very possible to not work and still be busy.

Yep, my mum was going on about how she cleaned her oven herself, while I paid someone to do mine … while I was working!!

No one is denying that but a person who does not work should not be going on at someone who is working to be baking bread and making the garden look lovely for every season and wondering why the decorating has not been done yet.

My mother once didnt speak to me for weeks because she was banging on about how I needed to manage my time and money better when I was struggling with working FT and having young kids costing £££ in childcare. She said "Well I managed alright!!" and I said "Yes, because you worked two and a half days a week when we were looked after by grandma and when we were old enough, were expected to have dinner cooked by the time you got home" She went MAD, called me a liar (I am not, my sister and father backed me up) and didnt speak to me for ages. My father lost it with her and said that just because she didnt like the truth it didnt make it any less true and that perhaps she should try to be more supportive and less selfish.

She has never criticised me again, so I guess thats something!

OP, I hope you remember this post when you reach retirement at 67 and have half the energy you had in your formative years. Your turn will come my dear!

I have a long retired aunt and uncle who seem to have forgotten the concept of annual leave (but aunt is a retired teacher). We’ve been discovering Scotland in the last few years, where they’ve been caravanning for decades, and when we’ve asked for advice we often get “well you really need to spend at least three weeks there to get a proper understanding of the place”. She can’t understand how we’ve only got one or two weeks. We don’t bother asking now.

Her adult daughter also got the same treatment “I’m ready to click & book a three week trip for us to Canada, just say yes!”. Not grasping and annoyed that daughter can only have two weeks off at a time, and she had plans for her annual leave anyway, with her partner.

Apparently when uncle was working she was always badgering him to try and wangle extra time off.

Oh yes. One Christmas I was visiting my aged relatives house about 1.5 hours drive away, and it was a Sunday night. Sedate affair, but still a long drive home in the dark afterwards and I had to be up for work at 7am the next morning.

When it got to 8pm I said I’d better be off, they asked “What, so early?” When I replied I had work to get up for in the morning they laughed and call me a lightweight. I explained it was also a meeting with the CEO first thing and they didn’t even take me seriously then.

It's a different mind set us oldies just got on with it. Time management is a skill. I had 2 kids full time job and ran house. Hubby 2 jobs and did gardening work. People nowadays are stuck to their phones when they could be doing things. We maybe watched tv 2 to 3 hours a week. We were always busy

I'm only 40 but the difference in how I feel now compared to 30 and 20 is huge, I imagine the difference when I get to 60/70 will be even bigger than the change from 20-40. I think you may be underestimating how much more difficult things are for older people. Seen as retired people have experienced being working age and retirement age, they're probably better placed than those of working age to say which is most difficult.

My friend was/is like that, except she gave up working when she was 25 and had her first child. Always saying how tired and busy she was 🙄

Yes I shall remember when I am retired not to tell a busy mum who is working to bake her on bread and criticise her for not keeping up with the garden.

Not everyone has half the energy at retirement than they did in the formative years my dear!

Get a bread machine and premix the dry ingredients of your favorites. When you're ready to bake, put the liquids and or oils in the pan, add the dry stuff, yeast, check your dough ball after a few minutes and tweak as needed, and you've got homemade bread.

One down.

Hire lawn maintenance. Two down.

Go minimalist. Three down.

You do realise that aging brings with it pain in joints, greater tiredness and the need to rest more.

Good luck i getting old. It hurts.

Yes oldies just got on with it. Everybody else is not getting on with it of course 🙄

My DM was a SAHM but I have always worked but yes she got on with it. She watched as heck of a lot more TV than 2-3 hours a week.

Why would I want to do all that? DM would call that cheating.

She says I am lazy because I have a dishwasher and how she hand washes all her dishes.

How would you know?

Maybe for you it does.

I have relatives and older friends having a very different experience.

Sounds like you are having bad luck.

I have a friend like but she never had a job. Got married young and had children many years later. She mostly stayed at home not doing much but was still busy and tired!

So OP it seems like you got no work done today, and what about your kids? How much attention did they did? None going by the consistency of your posts

People are mentally exhausted from the screen time! If we took away the mobile phones there would be more time and we would probably be more motivated and less tired. I say we as I do it too, so this is no judgement towards OP.

Do you think we'll end up with things like laundry day as opposed to "oh shit I've no clean socks" days 😆.

Not sure if you become organised in old age or if that is just older generations were always more rigid.

I agree with that. One Granny (born around 1920) worked all through the war, continued working in hotels and shops etc all her life. The big posh hotel used to let my Mum hang out in the breakfast room after school and watch TV along with other staff members kids (long before TV's were in houses) until her shift finished (kids in 1950's obviously knew how to sit quiet and behave otherwise their Mum's couldn't work!).

Other Granny worked all through the war in the land army and continued working in agricultural for most of her life - lifetime of hard labour destroyed her body.

My Mum always worked, my MIL was a hospital Matron originally specialising in geriatric medicine.

I know what you mean. My mum keeps bringing me new plants and moans that I don't keep on top of the garden and don't water everything daily. What she doesn't realise is A) I don't really have the time or headspace for gardening and B) if I did have the time, I wouldn't be spending it gardening either.

And you consider her a friend?

And you really can’t comprehend that your dad did as much as you do now when he was your age? You sound like being relatively young compared to him is a special skill or something.