to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

[cupofcup]

I know retirement is not always easy and older people can have health issues, caring responsibilities etc. But I do think some people genuinely forget what it is like to juggle work, commuting, childcare, housework and just basic life admin all at once.

My DM is retired and will often say how busy she is because she has shopping on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Friday. That is apparently an exhausting week. She is in good health and active. Meanwhile most working people are fitting those things around 40+ hour working weeks.

My retired neighbour constantly comments on how awful another neighbour’s garden looks and how she should tidy it up. The neighbour she is talking about is a working mum with young children who leaves the house at 7am every day. My retired neighbour has a gardener.

Obviously NOT ALL retired people are like this at all. Some are incredibly understanding and helpful. But others seem to completely lose perspective on how relentless working life can be, especially with children.

I was one of those women and nobody asked me to do it. I did it because I loved them and it never occurred to me not to. I imagine most women in that situation are like me. “Rights” never enter the equation.

Agreed

You sound like someone I’d be friends with @Chamb

That's your choice. The important thing is that we should have a choice.

You don't realise how privileged you are. You wrote that you did it because you loved them, so obviously you had a nice caring parent.

Many people have abusive parents.

I know of an elderly woman who is severely ill. She is dying. None of her children will speak to her at all because she abused them so badly whem they were children.

I know a woman who's mother constantly told her she was stupid and ugly when she was a child. She will not help her mother now that her mother is old. She won't even speak to her mother.

When i was a child myself, my mother constantly called me stupid, fat and ugly. My mother used to hit my brother with sticks. She enjoyed torturing us. My brother doesnt speak to my mother at all. I certainly wont be taking care of my mother in her old age.

I’m late 50’s and don’t work. I don' feel old at all, but when I compare what I’m able to take in my stride compared to what my 28yo dd can in a day, I can see the difference. The old adage is so true.. the leas you do, the less you can do.

I am WFH so no one is around.

Yes my boss would be fine. She doesn't mind as the work gets done.

“Rights”?! Are you a human being with a heart, or a brain dead bot?

The thing is @cupofcup women do know what you're going through.
But I wish I had the "tiredness" of 20 years ago.
I worked full time,had kids,recently buried my mother.
Had hassle of caring for my uncle.
But at least when I went to bed I'd wake up feeling refreshed.

Now I'm 53 multiple health conditions, and the fatigue is awful.

So you don't know which way you'll feel in a few years.

I laughed and told him to sod off!

Fine. Don’t do it. It’s not hard, is it? Nobody’s going to make you.

Eh what? Do you think that people should automatically take care of their parents, no matter how abusive the parents are?

My brother doesnt speak to my mother at all, because she tortured and hit him so much when he was a child.

How lovely and empathetic of you.

The pressure is on women. Ive been asked to take care of my mother Many times. Ive ben abused and shamed when i have said no, by my extended family.

I have seen the same thing happen to female friends of mine.

I'm retired and have a busy life with my interests and a huge amount of volunteering and family support.

I am constantly presumed to be on hand to sort every working person's need as I am retired and my time is their own apparently....lifts, dog-walking, baby sitting, post office runs, cat sitting, hospital errands (pick-ups), baking for each and every fundraising event, feed the fish and budgie while they are away for 2 weeks, every single community campaign, the requests and expectations are constant. People think they are doing me a favour by keeping me occupied.

Some do, but I've seen people on here complaining about people without children who were complaining about being tired/busy, because how dare they think they have a clue what real tiredness is when they don't have three boisterous children, two dogs, and a high-powered career. It's not a competition, but I get that it can be frustrating if someone's complaining when from the outside their life looks easier than yours does.

There's always someone who has (or has had) it harder. You think you're tired as a working single parent with three kids, but how would you feel if you were venting about being tired/busy and someone came along who has five kids and working two jobs and told you you have no idea what it's like to be truly tired/busy? Should you just never be allowed to complain? Or should the other person just privately sigh or roll their eyes and get on with life?

I know you're WFH.

I asked if you weren't working from home if you would be allowed to have MN open on your desktop and be allowed to be posting on it in working hours.

Does anyone aware anything about get places after May in Perse school waiting list ?

Wrong thread. Try the education boards.

I am retired and I haven’t forgotten. I worked full time from 15- 55 in a professional capacity . Brought up 2 children as a single mother taking 3 months maternity leave each time . Had no childcare support from family and volunteered in my spare time
Because I haven’t forgotten I help my DD out with childcare and occasional housework but I don’t feel guilty for enjoying my very busy retirement . I still volunteer , exercise , help my elderly father , travel so I class my life as busy - just not I. The same way that it used to be but nevertheless busy- I think I’ve earned it !

Agreed. Patronising crap

Same.

Now heading off to my Senior Flex and Active for Life classes in an attempt to compensate for legs and feet which don't work the way they should do.

My knee consultant looked astonished when I asked for physio to help my problems. Fortunately for me, the shoulder specialist was more sympathetic and the physio I got is following a protocol which looks at the whole person.

She got me started off with exercises and then passed me to a specialist class.

However, as others have said it's not possible to avoid all the problems which come with age and the genetic lottery does have an impact.

Someone above suggested a PT. Unfortunately, a PT can help but cannot compensate for all problems - and not all old people can pay for a PT.

I have a friend who - like me - cared for her parents and her husband and has various carer related medical ailments. She's always kept herself as fit as possible, but she's had to have a shoulder replacement and a back operation. She now has a hernia which is getting in the way of exercise.

She worked beyond retiring age because her pay was so poor and her pension is not good. She's in her 70s. She's an intelligent woman, but didn't have the same educational opportunities as some. She had a demanding job which made use of her intelligence, but her pay was not commensurate with her responsibilities or intellect. Moving was not an option, given her former caring responsibilities.

There's no way she could pay for a private hernia operation or a personal trainer so she goes along to the Active for Life class once a week and tries to avoid exercises which encourage her hernia to pop out.

Those who blithely talk about keeping fit and personal trainers as though everyone can do that are being a tad shortsighted.

Surely the point of retirement is to move on from one way of living, and to an extent forget it, and embrace the next.

Could you not have fitted it in?

Yeah in my case my sister is so much worse than my retired mum. My sister was appalled that we ate dinner at 6.30/7pm instead of 5pm as how would I then be able to put my child to bed at the obviously only appropriate time of 6.30pm.
My retired mum had to remind her that it's not necessarily possible to do all that when you finish work at 4.30/5pm as she's never had a job.

My mum does struggle to understand when someone doesn't respond quickly and I've had to remind her they may be at work lol but generally she remembers working life very well.

Yes.
You give WFHomers a bad rep by posting during work time.
I or any of my team would have faced disciplinary procedures if we'd been logged on and posting to a SM site when we were supposed to be working.

Well... I'm knackered... Retired a couple of years ago, have heart disease and am now just dog tired all of the time, doing stuff takes longer - sooooo much longer.

I have joined the moaning overtired retired... today I had a fasting blood test - they booked me in at noon!! So nothing but water from 10pm till noon. Fun. Dog woke me at 5am , took him for an hour's walk at 8. Can't drive any more so then had to get 2 buses to the surgery, 2 minutes to draw blood and 2 buses home. I'm sat here drinking tea and eating crap as my blood sugar has gone walkabouts... and according to Dd, ALL I've done is spend a couple of minutes getting blood drawn at the doc. (ALL?). Good job she said it from a distance - can't see far and can't throw far 😂.