to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

[cupofcup]

I know retirement is not always easy and older people can have health issues, caring responsibilities etc. But I do think some people genuinely forget what it is like to juggle work, commuting, childcare, housework and just basic life admin all at once.

My DM is retired and will often say how busy she is because she has shopping on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Friday. That is apparently an exhausting week. She is in good health and active. Meanwhile most working people are fitting those things around 40+ hour working weeks.

My retired neighbour constantly comments on how awful another neighbour’s garden looks and how she should tidy it up. The neighbour she is talking about is a working mum with young children who leaves the house at 7am every day. My retired neighbour has a gardener.

Obviously NOT ALL retired people are like this at all. Some are incredibly understanding and helpful. But others seem to completely lose perspective on how relentless working life can be, especially with children.

You started it, dont you remember?
You must be getting old and forgetful 🤣🤣

Most retired ppl lived in a time when childcare was not common, benefits were not common, interest rates were in the teens. As a result many had two or three jobs to make ends meet. No handouts in those days or UC or free childcare etc.

When you age you tire quicker. My mum has a nap after we go food shopping. I don't but she needs one. Because she has less energy, she is weaker than I am, older and frailer than I am.

They are allowed to feel tired, you do not have the monopoly on tiredness just because you have kids and work. I bet you hate it when childfree ppl say they are tired too!

Totally agree. The level of juggling working families do these days is beyond what any previous generation has done. The majority of families have 2 parents working full or one part time (still doing childcare/running a house when part time) and many don’t live near family, as often people move for jobs/house prices these days.

Although alot of older women will say they did work, they must have had family/neighbour help with childcare as ‘holiday clubs’ are a fairly recent thing. We have gone from hardly any to a whole range of holiday clubs near us in the time i’ve had kids. Both our Mum’s (70’s) were sahm’s until they had secondary school children they could leave on their own, and even then, neighbours of a similar age were about to help.

Our children’s wellbeing/mental health has also never been of more importance than now. Our weekends are centred around our kids (nice days out, walks etc) and we still have to fit lots of house/garden jobs around the fun, family stuff.

School is a totally different place to decades ago aswell - there is constant communication home. I think we’re well past 10 emails already from our schools this week of various trips, things to bring in, days out, homework to do etc (I probably took a letter home once a term to my Mum!). Luckily I have understanding retired parents and say how different it is.

So someone older and retired judging a younger working family for letting the lawn grow abit long is just ridiculous (and I say that as someone who takes alot of pride in my house and garden). I hope they remember most are working at least until late 60’s these days and we’re tired 😁

@Chamb this is a bit of an oddly defensive and disingenuous reply.

Self awareness is available to everyone - regardless of their age/stage.

No i live a long way away from her.

I am not talking about who gets the most tired. Like I said no one will know how they feel at any time, but I wouldn't be criticising someone who is busy with work and family for not baking their own bread.

I have an office to myself so I do keep it visible yes.

Yes my boss would be fine.

Oh my! I am a piece of work because I dared start a thread!

😂

To be fair, you can say no. It’s perfectly ok to say you just want to choose one charity event to help with (for example) and turn down other requests. People will always ask those they think will say yes (just like in school, always the same parents helping), but you have to learn to say no.

I commented on my retired neighbours too not just my DM.

I said SOME not ALL.

What is disrespectful talking about my experiences?

76% say I am not being unreasonable.

Yes, I stopped full time work a few years ago and I try to remain aware of this as I’ve observed it myself many times.

When people ask what I do with my time my immediate response tends to be “Fuck all!” - followed by a very short list of some of the things we get up to.

I’m not old but I already wonder how I did all I did when I worked full time. In my case I had a heavy caring role too which has substantially diminished. I do think those years did long term damage, - mechanically and in terms of anxiety and I am aware how fortunate I have to have been able to step off the wheel thanks to money.

I think without awareness it is very easy to fall into this trap. My mum did despite her exasperation at her own mum doing it years previously.

Wonderful for those who that kind of life and fit in 3 and a half hours of TV every night. I don't.

I'm retired but I'm hyper aware of the pressures (time and otherwise) on working people. My son works incredibly long hours, sometimes all night and often at weekends (lawyer). I'm very respectful of his free time and would never, for example, pressure him to visit me - but I'm delighted when he does!

I respect friends who work from home and wouldn't impose or expect them to take time out for me.

Aye, sorry. Realised that after I posted.

It is not about interperting busy. It is about being criticised for not keeping the garden nice or planting bulbs, making my own bread when they are retired and I am working and have DC.

Same old MN retirement bashing thread 🙄

Yes I will watch them on super speed so I can fit them in 2 x 30 mins slot. I will try and compete with my retired aunt who watches hours and hours everyday.

If you are not being critical why make a whole thread on MN about it?

You’ll be retired one day

I won't apologise.

Like I said numerous times not every old person is tired and worn out. I know lots of active old people.

I won't be telling busy mums who are working to bake their own bread and keep the garden nice.

No I've not forgotten how hard it was. Single parent working outside in all weather's... manual job.. not many cushy office jobs ..most of my peers worked in factories/ Mills.. be heading chickens all day long.. up and down factory lines in freezing fridges pickling vegetables... stood on cardboard to keep their feet warm.. stood at spinning machines sorting the wool/ cloth.
Baby boomers all of us.
Most of the men worked down the pit or building houses.
It was back breaking work.. then I'd collect my kids from my mums on way home ( walking .. no car).. half hour walk to work and back then another half hour to my mums.. sometimes she would have tea waiting for me.. then I'd wait for my Dad to give us a lift home.. where id bath the kids.. put to bed.. then start the cleaning ..no automatic washing machine .. was a twin tub..no microwave or tumbler dryer.. vacuum was big and heavy l had to pull about.. l did my own DIY and decorating.. l think l deserve my retirement. Luckily my two daughters have mod cons.. they remember us struggling and still amazed how we did it.

You are determined to avoid answering the question aren't you? I think that probably tells us the answer is that you could not and would not sit in an open plan office visibly paying on MN so the rest of the business knew you were doing it.

As someone else said, you are simply confirming other people's prejudices about people working from home slacking.

Posting, not paying.

We had it so good back in the day (and I lived through Thatcher). Of course we didn't realise it at the time.

What a mess politicians have made of the country.
But we have to take some responsibility as an electorate. We voted for Brexit. And I'm afraid we're heading for an even bigger catastrophe with Reform. We'll lose the NHS, Welfare, they'll decimate the Human Rights Act and the Equality Act.
And when/if that happens, like Brexit, we'll have no one to blame but ourselves.

Because 'immigrants' and 'poor, sick people'.

Not politicians allowing 20 million people to legally migrate here in 30yrs without building the necessary infrastructure to support that increase.
Not politicians allowing large multinational corporations to pay practically no tax. Not politicians giving us a referendum on leaving Europe which has completely fucked us economically.
Not politicians deregulating the financial sector enabling them to screw us all...and then bailing them out when they plunged the world into a huge economic recession.
Not politicians using austerity measures for 15 years with no real economic benefit...apart from making the rich demonstrably richer.
Not politicians dishing out billions from the public purse during Covid and awarding contracts (without competitive tendering) to companies with links to Conservative politicians and donors.
Not an ineffective opposition party who could have challenged the above but were too busy navel gazing and becoming obsessed with ideological bullshit ... because of 'activists'.

etc, etc ... ad nauseam.

It's all on 'immigrants' and 'poor, sick people'. 🙄

You seem very concerned about what I can and cannot do at work. Fortunately I do not work for an archaic boss or organisation.

Yes I am allowed. Happy? Probably not,

Are you for real? See my reply. Im actually fumming. This is the most disgusting post on here.