AIBU to not tell my mum about cheating dad?

[Cutie18327]

Very very long story short...

Suspicious that my dad is cheating on my mum for a period of two years. My partner has tried talking to my dad but he hasn't stopped visiting said woman. I am planning on confronting him directly (I am his daughter, so it's a very delicate situation and conversation), but my husband is under the impression that I should go straight to my mum. I worry for her health following the fall out of a potential affair.

Am I being unreasonable in wanting to confront my dad without her knowledge in the hope that he will stop? Of course if he continues past this conversation then I will tell her.

Thanks for update - you have handled this well

Reading through the comments and it’s crazy how different everyone feels about this… it blows my mind how people’s thought processes go.

I personally would want to be told, and I personally as the child would feel I needed to tell my Mum.

I would tell her my thoughts on it all (the evidence you have and everything else) and then the ball is in her court. She can choose to confront him or not. She can choose to stay or leave. She can choose to get her affairs in order or not.

As a Mum I wouldn’t want my child living with this “secret” and possible guilt… it’s not fair. I also would hate for them to know and me not to know.

People are saying that she may already know… if so then what’s the issue in telling her?
People are saying it will hurt her… yes and that’s the way life is… I personally would be more hurt that people suspected and never told me.
People are saying she’s 60, what will she do? You can start over at any age, you can finally be happy at any age… age has nothing to do with it.

If she is told and doesn’t want to bring it up to him and wants to stay because of any reason then that’s fine, then everyone knows the situation and can move on.

To not tell her is not giving her any choice. It also is not giving her any control. Everyone deserves to choose and to have control and know the truth of their relationship/marriage.

Because they would be colluding in the deceit. Factors once you know something and you choose to stay quiet, you’re colluding

I am married with adult children. If my husband was cheating and my kids knew, I wouldn't expect them to notify me about it and my husband feels the same. As an adult and a parent, it is your responsibility to manage your marriage; it is not the responsibility of your children. They are not colluding because they have no agency and don't owe you anything.