And just like that... MAFS is over

[mumofoneAloneandwell]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp8pz1k4r2lo

It was coming. You dont get good reality TV without people suffering.

This news however is awful. Bloody awful.

I was having school debates about the ethics of Nikki's mental health in Big Brother twenty years ago.

It's not a new idea that shoving people in front of cameras and provoking them to behave badly is ethically questionable.

I'm sure we all know it's risky, we just still hold the man responsible for his own dick at all times, because a) it's his dick and b) rape isn't mitigated when it's easy. We don't start dribbling on about how it's the woman's fault up to some unspecified point. Well, at least we don't if we're not misogynistic victim blamers.

So I'll make it easy for you because at this point you appear to be very close to getting it. The man is in fact entirely responsible for his dick even if the woman just met him, even if she only met him a day ago, even if she met him on a horrible exploitative trashy TV show. There is no point at which we blame her for not knowing him well enough; God knows enough women in long term relationships get blindsided, not that that makes a difference. As long as the dick is attached to him and controlled by him, what he does with it is on him, no matter how easy or hard stuff is.

Capisce?

We need to do away with this 'rough but consensual sex' defence that so many men (and in this case, the production company) seem to be hiding behind, sex must not end up with women being covered in bruises.

Shame on the posters who are victim blaming.

No, but the whole premise is clearly unethical.
The whole process is clearly set up to steer people into sexual relationships.
To make it harder for them to say no (and be seen to 'fail' on national TV)
To remove them from normality where their usual guard is down (like an extreme version of ill advised 'holiday romances'
To give them the false security of 'experts' and 'welfare' - when it is only in the production company's best interests to keep the participants on board and the drama high.

I have only watched small sections, by accident when waiting for something else to begin. Obviously distasteful and unethical.

All Reality programmes are.

Wife Swap was horrible - involving the children etc - and it has just got worse.

Are the general public being groomed too, to think this shit is normal and OK?

I was never OK, even before these allegations were revealed.

Wife Swap Christ thats going back I remember the one with the woman called LIzzie

Maybe just maybe if young ppl didnt have to struggle so much with jobs and rents etc they wouldnt see this as a valid choice Some have done reality shows both in the past and currently because they see it as the only way out.
I was on the old workfare in the late 90s and i can see why ppl would choose a reality show over that.

Gosh I’d forgotten all about Wifeswap.

Maybe we do need to have a real look at the reality TV sector. I hold my hands up and say I watch MAFS but I do find it’s getting worse and more shocking every year.

I’d also never understood how two people who just met could share a bed.

Hi folks

We're removing a lot of victim blaming from this thread. Further posts that victim blame will very likely end in suspensions, so please avoid this moving forward.

Lizzy Borden Bardsley! There's a blast from the past.

Found guilty of child cruelty in 2013

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/local-news/lizzy-guilty-of-child-cruelty-980881

I'd rather they be challenged because others reading will have those views, but I can understand it might be massively triggering for some.

Didnt know this but not surprised. I think the woman she swapped with was called Emma. I remember Emma sitting on the sofa reading New Woman which was the same mag i was buying at the time. its funny the stuff you remember

Thank you.

You're right! The latest series also mentioned the term "masculine energy" so much! It was so patronising and toxic.

“Consensual” is the go to defence. No wonder women don’t report rape. They end up on trial themselves.

I wonder how much is discussed about consent behind the scenes. Bearing in mind in programmes like this, Love Island etc where contestants are pretty much expected to have sex with at least one other contestant. I can imagine quite a few males would assume implied consent (obviously not acceptable), and pressure being put on them from people in front and behind the cameras.

Where does sexual assault/harassment come into play, again from all parties.

And only 3% of reported rapes result in a conviction.

Exactly.

But sure as long as the op and others get their light entertainment what does it matter? What will they watch now?

Indeed. It's fucking disgusting. If no one watched this shit, it simply wouldn't exist.

Exactly.

God forbid you have a brother, son or father who ends up having an ex who uses a documentary to accuse them of rape, without any kind of fair trial.

I believe all these "love"/relationship/"marriage" reality shows should be stopped. I've nothing against reality shows based on crafts, cookerey, etc (although even those have had their issues), but putting a bunch of young people in a hothouse environment where it is implied that they will have sex with one or more other contestants, who they essentially know nothing about, is just asking for trouble. We've already had suicides of Love Island competitors and a presenter.. How long before a (probably female) contestant dies and the male on-screen partner claims the "rough sex" defence? There is a conflict between the channel wanting an "exciting" show with lots of drama, and the channel being tasked with physical and psycological well-being of the contestants, and I think the pull of big ratings & viewers will alsways win out over "boring" stuff like safeguarding.

Do you have any idea of the figures for false rape accusations vs the figures for reported rapes that result in a conviction?

Why, do you?