AIBU to think this children’s party was a bit over the top?

[Lordofthebantams]

We went to a 6th birthday today. Bouncy castles,face painting, animal man etc. also a candy floss stand and a popcorn stand. Then it was party food lunch. Afternoon tea style cake stands with sandwiches, cakes, biscuits marshmallows and an additional cupcake tower. Fruit shoots & jugs of squash.Then party games to win lolly pops. Then we took home small sack of pick n mix, chocolate bar and a slice of birthday cake.

My kids eat really quite healthy most of the time with plenty of treats opportunities. I'm not against eating sugar at parties but surely there should be point that maybe you are putting a bit too much on. Yes it's my job to parent. It's not that easy at a party.

I half expected the tortoise and the owl to be decorated in Haribo

I agree your party sounds like a hell of a lot of sugar.

Have actually been to two 6th birthday parties this weekend with my DC and neither had quite this much sugar on offer. They were more along the lines of sandwiches/beige party food plus a couple of sweet options (one was party rings and popcorn, the other a bowl of celebration chocolates and a huge bowl of strawberries that was quickly decimated!). Plus cake. Plus some sweets in party bags.

Your child bites you?

Indeed it was lavish and expensive!

However food wise, birthday parties are a case of treats which most of us don't have on a daily basis.

That's the whole fun of it. DC know when they go birthday parties they will have these kind of treats and get excited about it.

Yes so much more was offered here, defo OTT and this is unusual for most of us. We will put on a party but have lots of cruditès, which go so fast, especially cucumber and strawberries!

To be fair, you’ve made yourself sound pretty horrible here.

And with this being a parenting website, there’s every chance the family might stumble across this.

Just unnecessarily mean spirited of you.

The drip feeding didn't really help....

Oh lighten up, OP.

There’s enough misery in the world, let the children enjoy the birthday party years.

I mean that is a particularly spectacular drip feed

I think it really depends on your kids...

We went to a fourth birthday party a few months ago that had standard party food, but then a pinata full of sweets, cupcake decorating, a giant cake that got cut up, popcorn and jelly...

One of the mums I know well found it really stressful and kept telling her son that X was the last thing, nothing else, and he'd agree and then when the next thing came out, he wanted that too. I was a bit more laid back and let my son get involved, but he's good at eating to hunger levels and found it far more interesting to decorate the cakes/jellies/etc than eat them. I'd say they probably had about the same amount in the end, but my son was unaffected and hers went on a crazy sugar high and she had a horrible bedtime after!

So some "normal" parents do find it hard, and on a different day, I might have found it stressful too.

You perhaps should have dropped the INCREDIBLY RELEVANT INFORMATION about your kids early life.

Cuz now we all sound like twats.

No, when an OP chooses to drip feed to try and bolster their point, we are not the ones who look like twats.

It sounds like a lovely birthday party tbh.

I think Y Ab very U.

It’s one day. I wouldn’t care.

If you feed your kids decent food on a daily basis, one day of eating a load of junk on a celebratory occasion isn’t going to kill them. I’d just let them enjoy themselves, much like I would on, eg, Christmas Day when all bets are off.

Yes she does. Regularly. No she's not a horrible child. She's a consequence of circumstances.

Im going to bow out. I've worked hard to say I was genuinely intrigued if I'm in the wrong as my opinions are skewed by SEN.

I've tried saying that I was grateful, I didn't drip feed, I wanted an objective opinion outside of my circumstances.

At least there were sandwiches. We had a party where the ‘food’ was stacks of cupcakes, biscuits and marshmallows, followed by birthday cake 🫣

Yeah, I’d have put the neglect part in the post, seeing as it seems to be used as the reason OP is annoyed by the food on offer

Probably a bit more heavy on the sweet treats than average, but most kids parties I’ve been to have fairly similar food. Some combination of beige carbs or pizza and some sweet treats. I did particularly like one we went to that was literally just crisps! Nothing else!

I actually find my kids are so busy running around they barely eat anything and I have to feed them when we get home.

I do think it must be hard if your children can’t regulate themselves around food, but I suppose it’s a learning exercise and we have to teach them not to take too much. I appreciate that’s easier said than done with some children, especially if they’ve experienced neglect.

I think in general the party was a bit more than a typical party but I wouldn't necessarily say OTT. However, it's pretty clear now (not in your original post though) that it would be a difficult scenario for your child / children.

I think point 4 of your last update (which is the 4th point 1 😂) is quite unusual, I don’t think I know of many (any?) children who will eat to that extent, that they would vomit or become violent over limiting food.
I think their early childhoods are skewing your perspective as many more children will be able to make a quick decision, yeah I’ll have a hot dog and then some candy floss. Oh I fancy having my face painted. Might go and get a glass of squash and bounce on the bouncy castle. Ooh there’s still hotdogs, I’ll have another one. Stroke a python, swipe a slice of cake and take a party bag home.
I don’t limit food for my dc, or didn’t when they were little. Obviously they were given certain things in controlled portions so in a way they WERE limited, one cupcake, one doughnut etc, but they learnt to regulate their own appetites and intakes of food. I have a teen son who eats probably 3 times more than I do, he has free access to food and drink between meals and will eat to his appetite. But if at a party they wanted 3 hot dogs and half an pizza and a bucket of candy floss and whatever then as long as there was enough to go round I would have been okay with it as it wasn’t an every day occurence.

You sound jealous

I always made sure there was plenty of food at parties. Granted it wasn't all sweets and cake but there were always extra siblings or parents that wanted a crafty nibble, or even a child knocking their food of the table and having nothing left. If you cater for 15 but the party is for 10 there still would have been excess food. Don't other people do the same?

On the flip side, I remember taking DD to a party where there were only sandwiches, veg sticks/tomatoes and fruit. None of which DD can eat (very restricted diet). It was decided that cake wouldn't be served at 5pm, as it would leave the children too hyper to sleep; instead it was put in party bags - I think it was a 4th birthday party. I was more than a little surprised (and was trying very hard to help DD not say anything - fortunately she hadn't been to many parties at that point).

There was a lot of food at the party OP described, and, wonderfully, DD would be able to eat a couple of things on offer. That's often not the case.

Massive drip feed!

Then your circumstances are a little different to the other families. You have a specific issue with them and food. You can’t take them to a heavily catered event and then blame the hosts.

The objective opinion is that you are being unreasonable, albeit for good reason.

But that’s your problem, the host did nothing wrong. You have a particular issue so you’ve decided to create a thread judging and picking on it.
you could have always left with your children

No we all don’t sound like twats.

the op, who has full knowledge of her situation chose to take her kids there. Once there she decided to stay. Stay and Enjoy all the wonderful activities and then come home and create a spiteful thread about that child’s party.

there was nothing the parents could have done to make your kids situation any different or better for you, so it was entirely up to you to manage it OP.