AIBU to think this children’s party was a bit over the top?

[Lordofthebantams]

We went to a 6th birthday today. Bouncy castles,face painting, animal man etc. also a candy floss stand and a popcorn stand. Then it was party food lunch. Afternoon tea style cake stands with sandwiches, cakes, biscuits marshmallows and an additional cupcake tower. Fruit shoots & jugs of squash.Then party games to win lolly pops. Then we took home small sack of pick n mix, chocolate bar and a slice of birthday cake.

My kids eat really quite healthy most of the time with plenty of treats opportunities. I'm not against eating sugar at parties but surely there should be point that maybe you are putting a bit too much on. Yes it's my job to parent. It's not that easy at a party.

I half expected the tortoise and the owl to be decorated in Haribo

Then why did you take home a "sack" full of said junk food?

That’s okay - just refuse all future invites. And I presume you didn’t have to pay for the party?

... or a ball pond! .....

It sounds excessive because most kids (I appreciate not yours though) don’t eat a lot at parties because they’re over excited and running around so I’m just imagining the waste. But if you are rationing them I’d just say no more than 1 of each thing because you have to leave some for other people and/or don’t want to make their tummy sick because that’s a simple boundary and doesn’t shame their disordered eating habits. If you think they’ve overdone the sugar at the party then I would save the party bag for the next day or encourage sharing with siblings that weren’t at the party.

Is this the first party you have taken them to?
As while this one does seem OTT a lot of kids parties do involve a buffet where they help themselves.
Parents generally over cater as they don't want to appear mean and over the years I ditched veg sticks as no one ate them and they ended up being purely for show.

Can you practice at home regulating their choices by giving them party style teas at home?

It sounds like a brilliant party! Bet all the kids loved it.

You don’t win friends with salad

@Helpforsummer is your MIL free this Thursday? Asking for a friend me 😂

That sounds amazing . A bit OTT but what the heck .

As the parent of two snack obsessed children (most definitely not neglected just obsessed with anything that isn't an actual meal), I feel you as this party would have been hell for me because they would have absolutely gorged themselves sick. Trying to stop them would invoke the most horrendous meltdowns as well. So I get it, there could definitely have been less junk/healthier snacks on offer. I appreciate the theme they were going with but that's a lot of junk, even for a party. The rest of it sounds fun though.

Wow really? That's a birthday/Boxing Day style spread in my house.
Still, I'm not doing anything this Thursday evening so I might pop round to your mils 😂.

1. No I'm not ungrateful. I actually had a conversation with my children about how lucky they are to go to such nice parties.

1. This was not the first ever party but I've never been to one with so much food.

1. My children are more excited by a candyfloss stick or marshmallow than a python or an owl ( not just cats re the Motherland reference).

1. Mine will eat to vomiting, stomach ache and will club me , bite scream, upend furniture if you remove food. This is why I asked if it's excessive or just stressful if you live with pacman.

1. Bouncing on a castle is surely perilous after cake, candy floss and fruit shoots.

Best post on here! 😂 I miss the 😂 emoji! Brilliant! 👏🏻🙌🏻😂

It’s a party!

You need my ds. He will reliably hoover the cucumber and carrot sticks (and crisps, cake, chips, sweets …)

I am sure he is part Labrador. Except most labradors are probably better trained 😂

I think it’s similar to a duckdoo

I imagine the children attending thought it was brilliant. It's not every weekend a party like that takes place. Let them indulge 🥳

What matters nutritionally is what children eat over a week rather than one single day. So the following few days you can always add extra fruit and vegetables to your family snacks and meals to 'balance'.

Sounds expensive!

I have an adopted food starved Siamese and I hear you. Sorry I know it is not the same, but the deprivation of food creates behaviours that are never undone. I've had my little girl now for 4 years, now about age 7 - always fed. Makes no difference it is never enough - that imprint as a young one is always there. What she will do to get food is incredible and sad and you parent (I cat parent obviously) always. Food away in a sealed container, set times for feeding, if out clear food provision (ie a timed cat feeder), healthy alternatives (for us that is crunchy). But it is time consuming and you have to be mindful. Hope your DC are doing OK?

Mine will eat to vomiting, stomach ache and will club me , bite scream, upend furniture if you remove food. This is why I asked if it's excessive or just stressful if you live with pacman.

If this is how they really behave why did you set them up to fail by taking them to the party?

Sure, but wouldn’t that be the same in any environment where there was ‘treat’ food available on shared plates, not doled out individually to each child? And a reason to avoid parties until they’ve been able to be helped to self-regulate more?

Do you go to an adult party and eat lettuce leaves and drink nothing but filtered tap water?

i don’t - adult parties have alcohol, canapés, fatty foods. Pizza, crisps, nuts etc as they are DESIGNED to BE FUN!!!

kids parties similarly have sweet treats as they are meant to be a treat.

unclench a bit - feed your kid healthy food in general and let them have some fun and sugar at a party for a treat. It really won’t kill them .

I think it is so sad that people are intent on weaponising food - if most of the time they have a healthy diet a bit of fat and sugar will not kill them at the occasional party.

it’s all about balance and making any food forbidden is just going to make them desire it all the more.

relax - it’s a bit of sugar not crack cocaine.

Who cares?

It's one party.....

It's not like your kids eat that every day.

I doubt she was expecting the amount of food that was available!

I think @Lordofthebantams you can already see that no it's not normal for children to eat excessively to the point of being sick or to fight/lash out at those who say no.
I hope you are getting support with managing their behaviours and can help encourage a change in attitudes towards food, as you won't always be there to monitor.