AIBU to think this children’s party was a bit over the top?

[Lordofthebantams]

We went to a 6th birthday today. Bouncy castles,face painting, animal man etc. also a candy floss stand and a popcorn stand. Then it was party food lunch. Afternoon tea style cake stands with sandwiches, cakes, biscuits marshmallows and an additional cupcake tower. Fruit shoots & jugs of squash.Then party games to win lolly pops. Then we took home small sack of pick n mix, chocolate bar and a slice of birthday cake.

My kids eat really quite healthy most of the time with plenty of treats opportunities. I'm not against eating sugar at parties but surely there should be point that maybe you are putting a bit too much on. Yes it's my job to parent. It's not that easy at a party.

I half expected the tortoise and the owl to be decorated in Haribo

But they will get used to not being neglected in your care surely (if you weren't the one neglecting them?)
You can not expect parents to cater to all circumstances- if it's too stressful to bring them to parties for now then just wait until they get older.

No, explaining why it’s stressful for her.

Don’t be an arse, there is no need for it.

As my kids didn’t go to parties every week there was no limits or off limits. I just let them get on with it.

There are far worse things in life than having too much junk food one afternoon at a party.

If it was an every day occurrence then yes, too much.

Life is too short to worry about silly things like this.

The only 'over the top' birthday party I ever witnessed was a Hamleys' birthday party organised by the parents of one child in our dc's class. In Hamleys. The children's party bags made them feel it was their birthday! Now, that was over the top.

I get it @Lordofthebantams. I wouldn’t object to the various elements (it’s a kids party!) but it sounds like the parents went OTT and booked/paid for everything available. So next year what will they do to ‘improve’ on this year? Camel rides lol. And a hot air balloon! 🎈
it sounds like far too much for 6yo on one day in a couple of hours. There’s really no need.

Meh. No problem, as long as their teeth are cleaned properly!

Obviously I'm in a minority but it sounds ridiculous and OTT. I'm talking about the whole party not just the food. All the people saying it sounds great won't be the ones dealing with a child buzzing with sugar and then the slump that follows. Sure you can limit what they have but why do they need to provide so much crappy food? The bouncy castle, animal man and food stalls are not needed at a child's party. A lot of kids would be overwhelmed by that. I don't know, I think kids parties have got to out of hand really and an so glad my children are past that.

There's no need to complain about it either. Either it was fun, and you show gratitude, or it was not fun and you still show gratitude but politely decline in future.

Sounds good to me. I can police what DD eats pretty easily, she takes no for an answer, and party bag type stuff we take weeks to eat as it goes in the cupboard and comes out for treats.

I wouldn’t put that much stuff on, but if they want to they can knock themselves out.

1 hotdog, 1 cake at the party, 1 candyfloss etc.

Save the party pags for another day. They can have the cake tomorrow. Then have a few sweets each day for dessert if you have dessert, otherwise save for next weekend

The idea is that there is a variety of options to choose from. No one has to eat it all. Just have the things you want.

At my DC’s 5th bday party a kid came and when I handed out juice boxes her dad swept in, said not for her and gave her a bottle of water. They had lunch and after I was handing out slices of cake and again the dad swoops in, and she just held up an apple to me her dad had given her and said “this is my cake”, it was all I could do not to crack up.

Not that this is like that really, but it just reminded me. She had no allergies, just her parents had a no free sugars policy. I couldn’t help but think it seemed a bit harsh, and she’ll probably go off the rails on sugar when given a bit of freedom.

I had a hard time policing DS' popcorn consumption at the circus today and so I forced myself to acknowledge that it didn't matter and stopped fussing at him. It is hard but sometimes you just need to pick your battles and write it off

Sounds excessive to me . We had sandwiches , jelly ,
Little cakes and a homemade birthday cake in the shape of the latest fad . Followed by cricket in the garden or whatever game they preferred. No party bags filled with rubbish . 1970s and 80s .

I personally would think it's too much sugar but my kids also know they wouldn't be allowed all the sugar and would have to choose one sugar treat alongside the cake that would be to come. 🤷‍♀️ we all do things differently, for all you know this kids parents goes all out the bday but are strict otherwise or not. It doesn't matter, it sounds like it was a really fun party with loads of activities and the sugar Is obviously optional.

That does sound excessive on the sugar front, I don’t mind cake at parties but get annoyed when party bags are sent home full of sweets. We all know that excessive sugar consumption is bad for us and it just puts parents who try to limit sweets in a difficult position

I can imagine they got a bit carried away when planning it - coming up with lots of lovely ideas and going with all of them at once. It’s kind of a “summer fun fair” kind of vibe, but at a fair you’re more aware that you’re walking around choosing what to buy.
I can see that it would be potentially a bit overwhelming especially if you don’t know what’s going to be served up next, and if your kids find it hard dealing with this amount of food on offer.
Well done for getting out the other side, hopefully partially intact?

I guess just be warned that even without the beautifully organised mass of party food stall options, you can still come across totally ordinary parties where there are loads of extra biscuits and cake up for grabs - it doesn’t have to be elaborate to have the potential for plates piled high. Most kids who get carried away will just heap the plate high but then not eat it all. I’d say as long as it doesn’t actually make them ill that day, it’s ok for a party - plan something sensible for the next day and a simple easy to digest dinner afterwards.

OP you are coming at this from a very specific view point. 99% of children have not experienced what yours have, and won't hoard food. It's obviously a sensitive issue for you, but it's your issue, not the host families issue.

When I throw a party I put on a huge spread and let the parents mange their child's consumption. Parties are generally a chance to go completely OTT and it may be that they just don't work for your dc, but don't try to transfer that to the host who kindly invited you.

You can still limit sweets from a party bag, they aren’t magically except from household rules

Not at all. My situation is very niche. I didn't want that to be the focus. I wondered if " normal" parents find it hard or if it's simply my anxiety because these situations are skewed for us.

I actually asked to help re calibrate my opinion.

I bet you had wasps too. Plenty of exercise to be had when they descended on the jam butties 😂

I don’t really subscribe to this view myself. You have maybe seven years max of parties. I know on here only a select handful of children and pin the tail on the donkey are acceptable (that or taking over a public park) but most kids do like a hall and bouncy castle or hired soft play.

My DD went to a party once where they had all the above plus a fire breather. Yup. Lovely parents. Only child. Far too much money. Very generous though.

@Lordofthebantams I think it sounds like a lovely party.

The only bit I disagree with is the sack of pick 'n' mix to take home. I am a firm believer that parties end at the end and I don't need a bag full of sugar and tat to take home and have an argument about.