AIBU to think this children’s party was a bit over the top?

[Lordofthebantams]

We went to a 6th birthday today. Bouncy castles,face painting, animal man etc. also a candy floss stand and a popcorn stand. Then it was party food lunch. Afternoon tea style cake stands with sandwiches, cakes, biscuits marshmallows and an additional cupcake tower. Fruit shoots & jugs of squash.Then party games to win lolly pops. Then we took home small sack of pick n mix, chocolate bar and a slice of birthday cake.

My kids eat really quite healthy most of the time with plenty of treats opportunities. I'm not against eating sugar at parties but surely there should be point that maybe you are putting a bit too much on. Yes it's my job to parent. It's not that easy at a party.

I half expected the tortoise and the owl to be decorated in Haribo

So what is ‘over the top’ then? If it’s the food on offer then it sounds pretty standard but if you didn’t want your child to eat it then you could have easily supervised and only let them have one or two of the sweet treats. It’s just a bit mean spirited when someone has forked out a lot of money to try and provide a nice experience for the kids.

Two of my three children experienced early neglect so hoard food like hibernating mice. Readily available food is seen as a mission. Perhaps that's why it's a bit more stressful for me than a parent whose children can take or leave it or eat until full.

Plenty of kids will be a hound with sweet foods given half the chance... that isn't a reason to suggest what sounds like a perfectly normal / well entertained birthday party.

Sound like a good selection. You take what you want, nobody was forcing them to have one of everything.

All the more reason to allow them to experience the odd good blowout, surely?

Most of us have had a child overdo it at a party. It’s part of childhood, and it’s not a big deal for most people. Why is it for you?

It was one party on one day. Unless child is diabetic, it won't hurt them, especially if they eat healthily the rest of the time.

Evidently I'm in a minority here. I'm pleased I asked, it helps with perspective. Just out of interest, where is your limit? 4 hot dogs? 7? 3 cakes? 2 candyfloss?

I get it, OP.

It does sound like a really fun and lovely day, but I also get stressed out by the food laid on at kids parties. I try and relax and just make sure any sweets are stealthily removed from the party bag, but I have to sit on my hands a bit. I would never feed mine sweets or chocolate or squash at home and it’s quite hard for me to sit back and chill (especially when they seem to have a party every single weekend).

There wouldn't need to be cause to limit to that extent surely? The food was just a small portion of the party and surely your child was busy enjoying the activities on offer so they wouldn't have time to eat that excessively?

To eat a serving of candy floss, popcorn, sandwiches, cake, biscuits, marshmallows and a cupcake in 2 hours sound excessive. Did your kid actually manage to eat all that and get a turn at the bouncy castle, animals and face painting?

It sounds unreasonable for a child to eat all of that, but not an unreasonable spread for the kids to pick between.

I don't have a limit for a one off party. You said yourself that this party was exceptional for the amount of sweet stuff even compared to other parties, so why get worked up if it's a one time thing.

Parenting a neglected child means the food is the event.

I think it's fine, it's a party, not like they do it every day and providing lots of variety means there was something for everyone. I think your own children's needs are swaying your perspective which is understandable, so hopefully having read the replies you can try to reframe it and not feel as stressed about it. Hopefully they had a good time and the party bag can be stretched out over a few days.

I’d be very surprised if the host genuinely expected all the kids to actually eat some of everything, it’s obvious most will pick between certain things and that’s the parents job ‘do you want candy floss or popcorn’ ‘don’t eat another hot dog, save space for a cupcake’

@Lordofthebantams The only thing that would worry me is that my child would have wanted the same kind of party because it must have been expensive😅. How lovely for the children though. Have they never been at parties where there is plenty to eat before? Like the all inclusive buffets at holdidays? It's nice to have plenty if choice- you don't have to eat everything.

YABU picking on their party food requesting "beige food, crudités and fruit". That's not party food for kids- mine eat veg and fruit every day with their meals but I wouldn't expect a party to cater to health obsessed parents- It's all about pleasure and hopefully the kids have a healthy diet on normal days.

Apart from the sandwiches, it does all appear to have been a bit sugar-heavy.

It may just be me but I would stand no chance whatsoever at curtailing either of my children devouring what they wanted at a party. I wouldn’t even bother. I think this is where you do kind of lose control of the situation though, @Lordofthebantams . Mine never had sweets or lollies then ds started school and haribo for someone’s birthday is a thing and party bags … but as long as they eat well most of the time it’s fine.

Well maybe 2 hotdogs if they’re small, but never 2/3 cakes or candy floss!

Yes that is a lot but surely if parents were there they could monitor this as it sounds like you were there and it wasn't drop and go?
This sort of thing sounds great for my kids - a chance to try things I might not normally give them (candy floss for example - turns out they didn't even like it!).

I appreciate it must come with it's challenges but surely they took part in some of the activities on offer reducing the amount of time they had to want to eat.

Hopefully you're getting some support to help them deal with these challenges.

Most kids won't actually eat that though. They'll pick on a few bits but be too busy playing and anything taken home can be spaced out so they aren't eating it in a short space of time.

I imagine there a lots of things that are difficult in your set up. It sounds tough. There are probably others that have different issues, such as aversion to animals, never having presents (so they grab all the party bags), etc. You won’t be able to control everything, just carry on doing what you’re doing and the more they are exposed to it, hopefully the less of a temptation it will be. It sounds like they had a lovely day.

I had visions of “Animal Man” from Motherland… where the animals were just a couple of cats!! 😆

Great example of a massive drip feed when the thread isn’t going your way….