I really want to go home. I really really want to go home.

[JacknDiane]

But my home isn't there. The council have got someone else there. My parents lived there 50 odd years, then mum moved to sheltered housing. But the family home with the nice garden is what I miss. And mum pottering in the garden. Dad is dead so long I struggle to remember what he did. But mum comes back easier, shes dead nearly 15 years. I was a late baby, my siblings are so distant from me, I was always really an only child.
My kids now are grown and moved away. Not near me at all now. Im happy for them,they are leading a young 20 somethings life. As it should be. They were here today for 2 days but both gone back now. I haven't got any family apart from them and dh. Dh is good but he doesn't understand how I feel. His siblings are in this city, although he doesn't see them much, they are still here.
When my dcs leave I dont know when I'll see them again, they both have lots going on. Im glad for them. But I feel so bereft when they go. Ive had a lump in my throat all day. I mostly stayed home when they were small or worked around them. That's unpopular on here but it was what we all wanted. Ive got friends, a job, I keep busy. Im not sat here waiting for someone to knock on my door, I plan things and keep occupied.

But when the dcs have been here then they go, I just want to go home, to the house I grew up, with my mum and dad there. Them just pottering, watching telly, going a walk. Nothing exciting, just the foundation of my childhood and young adulthood. I just want mum to say its ok, you'll miss them but you'll see them soon. Just reassure me all is well. I know it is, but I haven't been reassured by my parents in at least 20 years. I looked after mum after dad died. I became her mum. Its just what happened.

I just want to go home and sit with them. And drink tea. Then come back here and get on with my life.

But I can't and its overwhelming sometimes.

This has made me teary too, OP.

You are right about Sunday evenings. There's a certain sort of nostalgia and almost lethargy that I associate with Songs of Praise, Antiques Roadshow, early baths and clean hair for school. I can feel it in my bones.

Tomorrow will be Monday and the world will go on, but there's something a bit flat about Sunday evenings. Sending you hugs, OP.

Well that's really helpful. We all know the past has gone, and we need to move on, but there's lots of people who really miss their parents etc - me included.

Oh I’m so pleased to hear that 🥰

Thank you. It's the real push I needed x

Sending you love. I haven't thought about this in a long time, but your post has moved me. You are not alone.

I am an only child too - have lost all my uncles and aunts, just have 3 cousins who live far away from me. I have no family left and miss them all. I have no children but a husband who I married late in life - we don't get on any more and it makes my miss my family even more,

Yes I do as do both my siblings. We are a huge part of each others lives as are our (now all adult) children. They are close to their cousins, we are close to our cousins and also close to the grandchildren of our grandparents siblings I feel very blessed to have a large extended family as well as friends, but yes there are definitely times when you long for the past

I thought exactly of that word.
I am chronically nostalgic and I feel this a lot.

Tone deaf AF

Gosh this is making me cry because I had none of this.
Cant imagine feeling safe around my parents. My dad terrorised us, I'm so glad he's dead :(

You lot have the sadness, but you had the love, cherish that. It was worth the sadness you feel now. Ten thousand fold.

@Leavelingeringbreath

Can i ask, does anyone feel this way who has siblings they are close to?
I noticed both of my parents, on losing their parents to old age, reconnected with their siblings, I think because it represented what was left of 'their family'. I know when my parents eventually go my siblings will be a big solace to me,

The answer to your question is does anyone feel this way who has siblings they are close to will be yes 100%. It's part of grief which is a nasty thing.

When you say "you know" your siblings will be a big solace to you, you may be right and I hope you are but I would caution against banking on it. Firstly, the aging of parents can cause fractures in strong sibling relationships because if care is needed - no matter how many siblings there are - the burden tends to fall on one. The one may become angry and resentful under the strain of managing alone. The others push back against the resentment to avoid their guilt.

Secondly, the death of a parent (particularly when the last parent dies) has a way of bringing out resentments that you never knew existed and causing schisms in the family. Once close siblings can end up never speaking again. Inheritance (what's been left to who) property and money can also cause fractures. Sometimes siblings don't realise how much their parents are the glue that hold the family together - especially if big gatherings tend to happen at Christmas,Easter and parental birthdays. With no parents to drive those gatherings, things can drift even without a fall out.

Not always and not in every situation but sibling estrangement after parental death is common enough for you to proceed with caution and not bank on it.

im sorry you’re missing your parents so much

you write beautifully though - very emotive and poignant

Now I’m in my 60s I find myself looking back far more than I look forward. The nostalgia of it all. I often look to see if the house I grew up in is for sale just so I can look online at the rooms and remember the life we had there

"homesick for another time" completely resonates with me.

I was partly bought up by my lovely grandparents and sometimes, when life is a bit crap, i get an almost overwhelming desire to go back to my childhood and the comforting routine of life then - my grandad's crusty doorstep toast for breakfast, the sound of the kindling catching and spitting in the grate around 6am on winter mornings as he got the fire going, going 'up the top' to the shops with my Nan to get the shopping including a 10p bag of sweets for me, playing cricket in the garden.....and having to walk 5 minutes to a phone box that smelled of damp and cigarettes if i wanted to phone my Mum ( showing my age now) 😂 So i get it OP. Bloody shame Tardis aren't actually a thing.

Oh, I understand completely OP. I have a very full and busy life and grandchildren now, but those feelings still wash over me sometimes.

I was looking to see if someone had posted the Welsh for it, it's the first thing I thought of.

I know how you feel OP, my children are young but my parents long gone and I wish I could go 'home' and be with them just for a bit.

My heart goes out to you, grief and longing for a past that can never be recovered are such painful things. I am coming up to the first anniversary of a death that has devastated my family and I long to go back to happier times before this long bleak shadow came into our lives. I feel that I am back at the start of my grief, the pain is almost physical, the tears come unprompted and I still cannot make sense of the horror of it all. What to do and how to cope? Well I just don't know, I am considering trying to write my feelings down on paper as this used to help me cope with tough times in the past. I tell people that I am struggling but I am so aware that my pain can make some of them uncomfortable. Thinking of you OP and apologies for going on about myself

This thread also reminded of the poem Eden Rock, which I love.

I think many of us feel that at times , and we are lucky to be able to feel like that bittersweet as it is .

Op, I’ve lived thousands of miles away from where I was brought up for just under 50 years. I’m very happy where I am and I have lots of children and grandchildren. However, this last 8 months or so Ive yearned for the old days spent with my extended family so in a couple of weeks I’m going back to my where I was brought up for 6 weeks. I’ve never been away from home for that length of time before but I have to go back to the home of my childhood and touch base for longer than my usual two weeks. Perhaps it’s because I’m almost 70 and I spend a lot of time down memory lane these days but who knows?

I hear you and I feel the same, about my parents and my grandparents

A bit harsh !

Perhaps this is one of the blessings of having a chaotic childhood, nothing to miss… my children are still young but I know for a fact I will have these feelings when they’re grown and left… this is without a doubt the best years of my life and I know I will miss them terribly one day.

OP, what a bittersweet post, and so sad and yet lovely, personal and universal both.

Isn't life a strange one. We think each day will last for ever. I'm sending love to you, and a deep understanding as a fellow mum. ❤️

Oh OP, I hear you. I’m lucky to have siblings who I can share my childhood memories with. But the older we get and the more changes there are, the more melancholy it can be.

I try to focus on being thankful for the family I had. So many of us would love to ‘go back’ just for a day…

Thank you to those who’ve shared the words from other cultures that describe what so many of us feel. It’s funny that so many of us feel it but there isn’t a word in English. Thank you too for the lovely poster earlier who called this feeling being ‘homesick for another time’.