AIBU to consider moving our family to Thailand for a while?

[Tumblingbeach]

My DH and I have been seriously considering a move to Thailand, particularly Koh Samui. We absolutely love Thailand, we know it well and actually lived there before having children. We’ve just had a baby, and we have an 8yo.

There are several reasons why we’re considering it:

• We both have a huge amount of flexibility with work and aren’t tied down geographically.
• Financially, we’re fortunate enough that we wouldn’t need to work while living there if we chose not to.
• We genuinely love Thailand and could absolutely see ourselves living there as a family. We’d love our children to experience a different way of life and culture.
• The weather is obviously a big draw, especially coming from the UK!
• Our parents are still independent and at an age where they don’t need us nearby or daily, and that won’t be forever.
• Our DC are also at good ages for a move. Younger kids are so resilient and adaptable, and I think I’d worry more about making such a move when our eldest is older.

Our concerns:

• Our 8yo currently attends an amazing school, and she would need to reapply if we returned to the UK. There’s no guarantee she’d get back in - this is probably our main worry.
• We have an amazing group of family and friends here, which would obviously be hard to leave behind.

We wouldn’t be planning to move forever, but it’s a huge life decision. We haven’t really spoken to friends or family about it yet because I think most people would think we were completely mad!

Has anyone done something similar? Any advice or experience would be really appreciated. Not really sure what my AIBU is… maybe if you think we’re mad you can put in being unreasonable!

8 year old really happy and thriving at an amazing school? Not a chance.

Just go for a nice long holiday

How long do you want to live over there?

You said you have savings so wouldn’t need to work but when you come back do you need to/ could you?

Is the 8yo in a specific school that’s excellent or just a good school for the area? What schooling would they have abroad and would this sync with uk curriculum when (if?) you return?

Be careful you don’t incur international fees
if DC want to go to a UK uni. International fees
can be 3x UK fees and she wouldn’t qualify for a grant. I am not sure if impact if she went to college post 18 instead though.

What's the schooling like in Thailand? Would DC be at the correct level for their age in the UK when you come back?

What's the timescale for being out there? A year or two I wouldn't bother beyond an extended holiday. 5 years - you'd be coming back as your oldest DC is due to start high school. 10 years - your youngest is partway through UK primary age with no experience of UK life.

I think if I was planning a move I'd be looking at it being potentially permanent.

-How long are you thinking of going for?
-Would you qualify for visa etc to stay? A friend lived there and had to do a visa run across the border every 3mths!
-Are there any international schools on the island for your 8yr old?

When I was 8 and my brother was 4, we moved to the Middle East due to dads work. My parents rented out our home. Initially for 1yr, but we stayed 3. It was a brilliant opportunity to travel and see other cultures. Majority of my school were expat children from around the world. IF your child is the only farang (foreigner) in a Thai school though, then that would be a very different experience.

Thailand would be a great base to explore other parts of Asia and Australia. Would going over the summer holidays and renting a villa be an option to start with to get a feel for living there with children?

I would def set yourselves up and go from july- sept, over Christmas and easter
(Like a holiday home type set up)

But I think with an 8 yo I'd have significant reservations about my ability to bother doing the work needed to educate them (BUT we are looking at 11+ exams for ours... if you are happy with a non selective comp you can prob crack on)

I’d jump at it if your 8yo will access good education there, be that at school or home schooled.

I think at 8yrs old the ship has sailed for a temporary move. Too disruptive. I think the so called ‘resilience’ for moving is earlier. When would you plan to move back?

Hw about goimg for 2 months over the summer. What is your 8 year old going to do while ye are working?

What happens to your 8yo's education?

As someone who moved every 18 months / 2 years as a child until the age of 11 I'd say think of your daughter not what you want and think would be for your children. It is a great deal of upheaval to leave all of your friends and move overseas. It isn't easy to fit back in either when you return. It can have long term repercussions- my sibling (younger) kept expecting to move even when we stopped and so didn't make strong friendships 'just in case'. They didn't really start making proper friends until they were in their 20s and in control of where they lived. I would say don't move, just take a long holiday as a family. Living overseas, especially in a tourist destination, is very different from going there on holiday.

To answer a few questions-

• She would attend international school. She is at private school here which is why it may be difficult to get back in. The international schools however get really good reviews. She has travelled extensively with us since she was born and she absolutely loves the thought of moving to Thailand.
• In terms of time, I think we would initially plan on going 3/4 years but obviously would stay longer if we loved it!
• We intend on going for a month this Xmas and again for the whole of summer next year to look at schools etc. Actual move would probably be end of next year.
• We would try and make at least two trips back a year so that youngest would experience the UK and get to know family and friends. My parents would likely come out for months at a time.
• @7238SM this is a huge reason why we would want to go! The opportunity for further travel would be amazing and the experience would be fantastic for us all. Yes she would attend international school. Visa wise we are looking at a few options but work commit until we try it out.

They do have schools, local and private over there 🙄

I would go for it! Your children are young, when she's senior sxhool level she may wish to be back at a home base with building friendships and independance but for a few years I think would be good. You can always come back if it didnt work.

@SleepingisanArt I do understand what you are saying but we wouldn’t be moving every few years, we have lived in the same place since she was born and would plan on finding a home base in Thailand so she could attend school rather than constantly moving about.

Sorry @AbzMoz I could return to work yes - my husband works for himself and owns property hence an income when away.

You seem sold on the idea. So why are you asking mumsnet? Genuine question.

I lived in Thailand (Bangkok) with my two kids at similar, though slightly younger, ages. It’s definitely possible, including the visa - presume you’d use an educational / dependent visa? As far as I remember it’s only one parent per school-aged child though, so you’d need to check that. I would have two concerns in your shoes: firstly the weather - it seems amazing when on holiday from the UK but I found it really draining and debilitating to live there the whole time, you are literally always sweating: secondly the school / community on Samui - it’s a small island with a fair few anti-vaxers / preppers / Russian expats and the school population reflects that mix. Up to you what appeals and for primary it’s probably fine, but I’d think twice for secondary.

No shit I was referring to OP's posts about her DD not getting back into her current school.

@Spicysirracha was just looking for some wider views.

@lovelylimesoda that was a big worry of ours eg the general expat population there and the schools. Let’s just say we are none of those people and that would be an issue.

There is a Tony parsons book where a family do this

I have several friends who did this but they moved to Koh Lanta as that’s where the Swedish school is. They all really loved the experience but none of them stayed very ling. I think the family who stayed the longest was there for 2 or 3 years as the mum worked as a teacher at the school, the other families stayed a year I think. The main issue was that everyone was doing what they were doing, living there for 3-12 months so it was so hard to make lasting connections/friendships. The weather did get a bit boring too and even the delicious food.

You have lived there before though so you know better what to expect and I do think you should do it. Maybe plan to come back when your oldest starts high school?

Personally I’d miss year 5 & 6 of school - coming back to the UK early enough in year 6 that you can apply for a year 7 place. Double check this but I think it’s Oct application but a later date the next year for when you can update your address and it still be considered.

I think they are the least positive years of primary.

I wouldn’t, no.