AIBU to consider moving our family to Thailand for a while?

[Tumblingbeach]

My DH and I have been seriously considering a move to Thailand, particularly Koh Samui. We absolutely love Thailand, we know it well and actually lived there before having children. We’ve just had a baby, and we have an 8yo.

There are several reasons why we’re considering it:

• We both have a huge amount of flexibility with work and aren’t tied down geographically.
• Financially, we’re fortunate enough that we wouldn’t need to work while living there if we chose not to.
• We genuinely love Thailand and could absolutely see ourselves living there as a family. We’d love our children to experience a different way of life and culture.
• The weather is obviously a big draw, especially coming from the UK!
• Our parents are still independent and at an age where they don’t need us nearby or daily, and that won’t be forever.
• Our DC are also at good ages for a move. Younger kids are so resilient and adaptable, and I think I’d worry more about making such a move when our eldest is older.

Our concerns:

• Our 8yo currently attends an amazing school, and she would need to reapply if we returned to the UK. There’s no guarantee she’d get back in - this is probably our main worry.
• We have an amazing group of family and friends here, which would obviously be hard to leave behind.

We wouldn’t be planning to move forever, but it’s a huge life decision. We haven’t really spoken to friends or family about it yet because I think most people would think we were completely mad!

Has anyone done something similar? Any advice or experience would be really appreciated. Not really sure what my AIBU is… maybe if you think we’re mad you can put in being unreasonable!

Thank you for all these replies!

@Oncemorewithsome you are probably right re P5/6, only problem is timing with when we actually went - we may not actually get there until she is in P5. It’s a tough one! I think the experience would be amazing but I don’t want to mess up their whole lives by doing it!!!

@SwedishK also interesting! I do often wonder how high the turnover is in these international schools. I would love to see if my DD thrived in that environment though, as the school she is at at the moment is quite academic.

When would you be thinking of going?

You won’t mess up their whole lives by going. My kids had lived in 4 countries by the time they became adults. My oldest even missed reception when we moved to the UK as the school started later where we lived prior and my youngest finished school a year later than he should because he needed additional qualifications when we moved back to Sweden. It’s not something either of us ever think about and it’s been absolutely fine. The benefits of having lived in multiple countries and cultures far outweigh any little obstacle.

There's probably ex pat forums where you'd get more useful info tbh.

Surely though some may see it as a nice holiday destination living there with kids must be completely different. I follow Niall Harbison who rescues dogs there and the locals seem to live in utter poverty.

What is the local service provision like, water etc?

Do it. Sounds amazing.

I worked in an international school and the turnover was not insanely high.

I worked in an inner city London school with higher turnover. You won’t mess up your child’s life or education.

They will be fine. Friends of mine took their children out of school for two years to travel and they went back to school and were fine, they were around the same age. All they did was some maths each day and made sure they read. One is now at uni doing engineering and the other about to do a level maths, physics and Spanish. It makes less difference than people think.

You can always come back if it doesn’t work out anyway!

@Spicysirracha likely end of next year (for various reasons including wanting to spend the summer there next year before making a final decision)

@Gloriia local provisions in these areas are very good. Hospitals are also good. We have lived there for a period before but only done extended holidays with our eldest, in saying that extended as in 4 months so we did get a real feel for it. There are definitely areas of poverty, like everywhere.

@SwedishK that’s what we think re the benefits! I want my children to know the world, and not just the hotels or blink of an experience a few weeks a year. Also that there is a lot more to life than what is expected of you in the UK!

End of next year? So 18 months away. What year would your eldest be in then?

@Spicysirracha P5

Sounds amazing! Go for it!

'There are definitely areas of poverty, like everywhere'

I've never seen people in this country living in tin shacks without running water like many locals do in Thailand often with poor animals in terrible conditions. Yes we might have some homelessness but the terrible living conditions seem the norm for locals in Thailand whilst westerners swan about having a lovely time.

It's a bit like Dubai isn't it, the glossy 'paradise' destination seems gorgeous but scratch beneath the surface and locals live in squalor.

Why not just keep going on holiday and keep the fake illusion of paradise going?

So you’d have need to have applied for the private secondaries?

BIL lives there.

They are finding it increasingly expensive. They have just had to downsize flats again for example.

Theyvare also stuck as they cant afford to move back to the UK.

No. I wouldn’t do it because of the impact on 8 year old.

They do but getting a visa to stay is very difficult

This
I absolutely wouldn’t do this to my child

Agree. You’re disrupting their social networks. It’s hard for them. Under 6 is no problem but 8/9 is a massive interruption in the development of independence.

Your 8 year old is too old. She’ll be not far off secondary school age when you go, and will then be maybe year 8/9 when you return. That would be a tough age to move back. I think you’ve left it too late.

She’s in the private sector.

I had to have applied and been accepted for my children’s private secondary by end of year 4

We did similar with a 7 year old, a different Asian country. It has been a really good decision for us. He’s happy at his international school and we’re enjoying the warmth and the lifestyle so much. We will head back to the UK ready for him to start year 7. You’ll never regret doing it! Easy to move back if you change your mind. Go for it!

OP’s daughter will be nearly (or already) 10 when they go, which is very different from 7. She will miss year 7 and 8 if they stay for the proposed length of time.

Is going for 18 months an option? I think coming back in the summer before y7 would be ideal in your position. Especially if they are going back to private school. Otherwise can you go end of this year and spend this summer there scoping it out?

I think it sounds like a great adventure! I woukd do it provided:

• I was sure I still had my home in the uk to return to
• was able to keep both children’s education on track
• made sure I was aware of what was required to get the eldest into a good secondary when heading back

go for it!

Is it possible/affordable to rent somewhere out there and spend all her school holidays out in Thailand but fly back to UK for school term time. This way you could have the best of both worlds.

Our best friends moved there last year with a 4 and 7 yr old for almost the same reasons and have recently decided to stay there because they love it and the kids love the schools they went to and the couple both have jobs now there. If I could afford it I would be there to as the uk weather is so bad for my health now