AIBU to consider moving our family to Thailand for a while?

[Tumblingbeach]

My DH and I have been seriously considering a move to Thailand, particularly Koh Samui. We absolutely love Thailand, we know it well and actually lived there before having children. We’ve just had a baby, and we have an 8yo.

There are several reasons why we’re considering it:

• We both have a huge amount of flexibility with work and aren’t tied down geographically.
• Financially, we’re fortunate enough that we wouldn’t need to work while living there if we chose not to.
• We genuinely love Thailand and could absolutely see ourselves living there as a family. We’d love our children to experience a different way of life and culture.
• The weather is obviously a big draw, especially coming from the UK!
• Our parents are still independent and at an age where they don’t need us nearby or daily, and that won’t be forever.
• Our DC are also at good ages for a move. Younger kids are so resilient and adaptable, and I think I’d worry more about making such a move when our eldest is older.

Our concerns:

• Our 8yo currently attends an amazing school, and she would need to reapply if we returned to the UK. There’s no guarantee she’d get back in - this is probably our main worry.
• We have an amazing group of family and friends here, which would obviously be hard to leave behind.

We wouldn’t be planning to move forever, but it’s a huge life decision. We haven’t really spoken to friends or family about it yet because I think most people would think we were completely mad!

Has anyone done something similar? Any advice or experience would be really appreciated. Not really sure what my AIBU is… maybe if you think we’re mad you can put in being unreasonable!

So she won’t be continuing in the private sector? @Tumblingbeach

Why not go until it’s time for the 8 year old to start secondary back in the UK?

Not a chance. I moved back from ex pat life when my DD needed to start school. Ex pat life is full of over privileged people and I didn’t want her growing up in that community. Far from the experience a lot of people think it is, you end up in a smaller social circle in my experience.

@TuppenceM we would like her to continue yes, but it would be a case of her reapplying and sitting another entrance exam if we pulled her out now. That happens around the same time in our current school so we would still have a few years.

@MeridaBrave starting to think that would be the ideal solution! The plan anyway and then we could see how things were going.

@jeaux90 do you mind me asking where you were? I can imagine that being the case in some places but surely not them all!

If anything like my children’s private school - I had to have them on the waiting list aged 7 and then the assessments were done at start of year 6.

Would you work out there?

@TuppenceM oh wow really, no it’s not the case at my daughters school.

We wouldn’t work no, we have a business at home (that would take care of itself)

So neither of you really work even now if the business works seamlessly without you both?

Your daughter’s current school goes up to 18? And every year as spaces for new entrants?

I say go for it.

if you are going to do it nows probably the time. If your daughter is able to get in to a good international school in Thailand and you can afford it then she will be fine education wise. The primary school doesn’t matter if you are staying 3 years as she won’t need to come back it - the question is whether she will get in to a good high school and whether your youngest will get in to a good primary.

They will get so much out of living abroad and learning a new language.

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 this is what we think! Regardless of her getting back into the school she is in now we are in a very good catchment area so she would likely get into a very decent school, as would our younger as primaries are also good. Thanks for your enthusiasm :)

@TuppenceM I didn’t say we didn’t work, I said if we moved abroad our business could take care of itself give or take a few emails every little while. I’m not sure the relevance of this.

Yes her school goes to 18.

Now that’s the kind of business I would like to own! Where will run seamlessly for a few years with only the odd email from my husband or me!

Life is short, go for it!

id go but I wouldn’t settle somewhere and join a school ! I’d travel around / island hop and move elsewhere when it’s peak rainy season probably

I really wouldn’t chose ko Samui either (but personal choice I suppose)

you could just loosely home school for a bit and move back next year or soemthing 🤷‍♀️

that’s what I’d do anyway

we did spend my maternity leave travelling around Thailand mostly but also some other countries - only 6 months though and daughter hadn’t started school yet.

Family member has been out there for 25 years and may have to come back as the Iran war has created a low season where they are similar to Covid and says it is currently a ghost town.

They have been struggling with business before Iran happened as a lot of expats have bailed recently and left.

Yes we are very lucky in that sense. This is another reason for going and living somewhere else, we’re not stuck here and @EuroNotVision says, life is short!

I think homeschooling might kill me!!!

Otherwise I would really love to do that….

I think you have a very brief window to do it right now. Go now - like at the end of this academic year - and come back when your eldest needs to apply for secondary school entrance. I assume that is probably age 10 or 11.

I don’t think it will be fair on your eldest to move back later, as she will have to take whatever occasional school space she can get and she’ll have to join an established year group with established friendships. Age 12/13/14 is hard enough for girls without adding that to the mix.

So that only gives you a couple of years to be out there. People say it takes a couple of years to settle and make friends so be prepared that you’d probably be leaving just as it starts to feel like home.

For those reasons I wouldn’t. If you’d gone when she was 4 then maybe but I agree with pp that you’ve kind of missed the boat.

Given the flexibility with work, I’m struggling to think why you would wait and make it harder for your daughter?

there are quite a few (convoluted!) reasons that we can’t get there this summer to try it out hence why we can’t go this year. We only lived there a year, pre children and I’m just not comfortable pulling my DC out of school having never seen the school she may be attending/where we are going to live etc. it’s a risk too big to take therefore I want to try it out for at least a few months before making a decision.

Why not just do school holidays there? In private school you get 8-9 weeks summer, Christmas and Easter you get 3.5 weeks. Plenty of opportunities for settling in and experiencing a different sort of life (and sun!) without actually uprooting and moving there.

A few months will just be disruptive… neither a holiday nor settling.

Go for the private school holidays and add on a week either side.

I would suspect that you’ll enjoy have a lovely holiday but ready to come home with the children and settle.

No the plan is to go for a few months initially to look at schools and accommodation with the hope to then move there long term!

Yes… sensible. Very sensible.

A hope rather than a definite

When would you be going for the few months reccie? And how many months?

Next summer with the hope to move next winter :)