To wonder what else can be done to break the cycle of generations living off benefits?

[Allonthesametrain]

Sounds harsh because It is. As a former teacher, then eduation social worker, now the past few years more heavily involved with school attendance.

My desire has always been to help children from unprivileged backgrounds to know their worth and achieve the best they can and this has been my career from age 23 to 57.

The number of times I've cried, torn my hair out, is immeasurable. I and colleagues have gone above and beyond to support the families, genuinely care about them, but unfortunately the outcome has been, as I've said in title, it's a continiation of the cycle of being brought up within a small community and low expectations.

So many gorgeous kids (supported throughout their young lives until they leave school) who tell you their dreams of what they want to to achieve in life, we do everything we can to enable it and some have indeed broken out of the circle but unfortunately the reality has been...

Parents who live lifestyles of no bedtime routine, tell their kids not to come back before ...pm, sleep in and don't get them out of bed ready and fed for school and as for weekends, pub and take back a new bloke

Parents who have issues themselves and project them onto DC. The kids soon realise they can stay off school for feigning illness and would actually be a comfort to Mum

The parents who just cba and say shall we just still in bed?

Of course there are so many other mitigating factors but these are the 3 main experiences we've dealt with. Unfortunately it really does come down to poor parenting and no matter what interventions we do to encourage attendance, only a minority are genuine.

So the cycle...DC think education isn't important, parents are hopeless role models and can often be aggressive to teachers, a deflection of blame.

Then oh DD gets pregnant at age 15, DS has been reprimanded by the police for scooting around in a balaclava. Then pure hostility when we try to continue to talk to them and what could be done to help.

Basically it's just such a shame, these sweet young kids who say they want to be ... become so influenced by their homelife, a need to fit in with their family and peers from the same estate, that they ignore the support we give them, don't turn up to appointments etc.

For the genuine cases, DC with SEN, the effort to try and ensure they are in best place is utmost and it's heartbreaking there aren't enough of them. Yes, we do know genuine cases and not just so many parents striving for a diagnosis because they feed DC a terrible diet and let them stay up late so are tired and irritable at school.

Expecting some backlash, whatever anyone says I can reason with.

If they are asking me if I have any, then that would be pretty obvious.

You've chosen to call people lazy on here who aren't lazy. You have an issue with unemployed people - that's very clear.

Why would they be asking if you have equipment? They ask if you want to use your own products, if they supply it costs more. They ask if you want your own hoover used or happy if they use their own. It’s really not that complicated.

Pretty much, why should working people have to foot the bill for those who can’t be bothered?!?!?

So when are the disabled, carers, people already working or single mums with babies suppose to have the time or physical ability to just start a cleaning company. I work part time and am disabled I don't have any energy left to clean my own house let alone anyone else's

There are people on UC who work.

Nail on the head. We used a gardener for a short period and first thing he asked was whether we had a lawnmower and other gardening equipment he'd be able to use or whether we expected him to bring his own. He quoted accordingly when we told him what we had and what he'd need to bring/hire himself.

There are countless cleaners where I live. I would pick one that is well established with a good reputation. A person who actually cares about their job. Not someone just chancing it because someone on MN told them too.

Because you're to privileged to be able to understand why some people can't work

Someone on mumsnet who hates unemployed people and hates them more if they are on disability benefits.

Yep, "just be a cleaner".... when there are disabled people on UC who need cleaners themselves.

How do you think your established person with a good reputation started? They weren't born that way. Everyone starts somewhere with zero reviews. In reality, people starting out do so with cheap rates and often with limited equipment and just build up, both in terms of customer base, reviews, equipment, etc. Once established they tend to increase charges and be more "picky" about the work they do.

But they all had to start somewhere

How do you know? I’m not privileged … had to work my arse off to get where I am.

UC is for people looking for work (amongst other reasons).
Someone looking for work needs the safety net of UC so they can pay their bills and eat.

If I had come on here and said I'm a student - I wouldn't have got the comments I have. But because I'm on UC I'm a lazy scrounger because I didn't have a job the week after I broke my leg

You're self-employed as well? You could have fooled me given the way you were talking about how easy and fast it supposedly is to generate income.

Quite apart from it not being the case everywhere that cleaners, gardeners etc are thin on the ground (there are more around here than you can shake a stick at), your statement that all that's needed is 'attitude' is staggeringly naive for any number of reasons - market demand, for one thing, added to which some people are just not natural entrepreneurs - we'd all be running our own businesses if they were.

Then there's the capital needed to set up/keep going in the early stages (especially if you need to hire staff). The financial wherewithal to manage on very little if you have a lean month/year. At least a modicum of business smats together with the ability to budget and manage figures, as well as a reasonable degree of articulacy. And, in many lines of work (including the ones you seem to think it's a piece of piss to set up and run), physical health and mobility.

If you're seriously going to trying to tell me that anyone can come by these qualities just by having 'attitude', well, that's going to be another 😂 from me. And if you employ people in your business, I'm sure it'd be edifying to know what kind of selection criteria you apply.

And as for why I'm arguing about it, it's because your reductive 'anyone can if they try' argument simply doesn't hold water across the entirety of society, even if it happens to work for you.

People on mumsnet are so weird its like their jealous of someone having a severe disability or like their disappointed that there children are healthy

I paid into the system for almost thirty years. I have taken back far less than I ever paid in

They are the ones that genuinely need it and probably not who this thread is about … it’s the chancers and piss takers!

And PP reckons she will have a full week of bookings in her first week.

My DM has a cleaning company that she has been running for over 25 years. It took a long time to get to a point she was earning a full time wage.

Same worked full time for 20 years and now still work part as thats what I can manage people just dont realise how quick your whole life can change. We all pay into the system as any one of us might need it one day. Im very grateful we have a benefits system

Everyone gets 13 years of free education - that’s a pretty big opportunity-it needs pointing out to people as it’s taken for granted. You can spend that 13 years achieving stuff or you can just whinge and do not much.

That's odd. Because I was told earlier that I was a lazy scrounger for not immediately having a job after a triple leg fracture.

For context when I broke my leg I didn't see a consultant for two weeks. My operation was two weeks after that

I basically spent that month prior to the operation in agony - and after it as well. But hey. I should have just got my arse into a wheelchair and gone down the nearest call centre

I didn't actually get the disability benefits right away - I had to go to tribunal. So on 393 quid a month - where was I supposed to get a wheelchair

Really? Aren't you the poster telling someone that has smashed their leg to pieces and had major surgery, that she should still be working? And that she was taking the piss?