Worried about my 18 year old son buying joke shirts from Afflecks Palace

[ForSparklyFatball]

Hi everyone, I’m after some advice because I’m really not sure if I’m overreacting or not. My son is 18 and has started going into Manchester at weekends with his university mates. They’ve been spending time in Afflecks Palace, which I know is full of alternative stalls, but he came back yesterday with a couple of t-shirts from the shop on the top floor that does the t-shirt printing.
One of them says “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum” and the other was along similar lines with crude sexual humour. He thought they were hilarious and just a bit of edgy fun, but I’m honestly concerned. At 18 he’s an adult, yet these kinds of slogans seem to normalise really objectifying and inappropriate attitudes, especially towards women and sex. I’ve tried speaking to him about it calmly, explaining why it bothers me, but he just laughed it off and said it’s only a joke.
Has anyone else come across these sorts of shirts in Afflecks or had their own son or daughter bring something similar home? Am I making too much of it, or is this worth having a firmer conversation about? Any thoughts on how to approach it without it escalating would be really helpful. Thanks.

Huh?

You speak sense. Thank you!

I guessed it was similar to Oasis on birmingham.. that was our 3 floors of everything rock/goth/alt.. music, decorations, clothing, shoes, tattoos & piercings.

Come on Saturday we may get a discount on them if we get two

This was my guess, too.

Oasis is gone now, isn't it?

Such a shame.

That's actually pretty funny. 🐸

I'm not daft or poor yet you have called me one and insinuated the other.
From one woman to another its uncalled for when I was offing to buy you hot chocolate as I figured you might need/want it after your chat.

I have a “I shot JR” T shirt.

I didn’t actually shoot him. It’s just a joke.

DB has one that says "I sweat sparkles and cum glitter" and I'm 84% sure he doesnt 🤔

My goodness, unclench.

The no shock value thing works really well.

I pointed out to my 17yo that if she wanted to rebel, she'd need to start wearing suits, going to class on time, and being a straight 9s student... because offensive clothing, dyed hair, piercings/tattoos and alt/rock music are just following myself and her dad's tastes.

What venom? Did you forget you told me i disgust you, then you bantered about me being inhuman with the other poster thats clearly also yourself.

You've done nothing vlbut spew venom and hatred this entire thread.

Perhaps you loathe yourself... but lashing out isnt a good look.

Oh no! Has it? I thought it was still there. Im sad now. 😞

My gay friend still has 2 t-shirt from 2005.
Shirt 1-it says not a chance im 100% gay.
Shirt 2 im as straight as a round about.
We was all 18-19 back then they are just jokes well nightout tops.

I did see a man with a t-shirt on not long ago with nice legs what time do they open not in huge big letter, you had to be close- ish to read it.
I couldnt help my self when i saw it and said anytime past nine, we just laughed .

I think the market closed and then the Oasis building was deemed unsafe or something?

Op ive just read your updates why are you so angry at people.
I mean its just a stupid t-shirt, stuff we do when we are young.
Your son is an adult you cant control him you need to calm down.
And unclench.
Have you never wore a silly top never done anything in your younger years.

It’s not disgusting and you should not express that opinion to your son; we make jokes about sexuality when we’re not ready for or incapable of the serious conversations. It “hurt” for him to wear a tshirt? That’s deeply and unhealthily invested in your 18-year-old child’s wardrobe choices, unless the tshirt said, “Fuck you, mum.”

Yes, he claims it’s a joke, but it’s also a secret code - you don’t make jokes about BDSM unless you’re an insider enough to understand the joke and the fact that you clocked this as something weird and disgusting and not a BDSM joke indicates you’re not insider enough to get the joke. So either he’s part of that group and this is a “joke” about his true feelings (dominance games get him off) OR you’re calling his humour disgusting, and that would hurt him just as much, I would assume. I actually think it’s nice that he’s secure enough in who he is and whatever his sexuality is to wear it 😂

Just be patient, and in the meantime, don’t say anything unkind about this because you can’t take words back. Anywhere from two weeks (if a peer makes fun of it!) to two years from now, this shirt will be in the rag pile and you’ll feel ridiculous for letting this matter. If you are suddenly (God forbid) diagnosed with cancer or hit by a bus, your opinion of whether it matters will probably be altered much sooner.

My dad went mad about a French Connection t-shirt that I'd bought from Kendals, or Rackhams, around 99/00 and about 15/16. It wasn't one of the slogan ones that everybody wore at the time, but a white one with 3 pictures of moody beach scenes. I wore it a lot because In loved it and then one day my dad noticed that it had fcuk on it in tiny writing on and madr me bin. It cost me about £30 so I wasn't happy. He always was a control freak tosser with issues. I've never really forgiven him.

I'd never heard of it, but have now looked it up and it looks awesome! Will be visiting if I'm ever in Manchester, and will be following all the Instagram pages of the sellers I like the look of, to see if I can place an order online ☺️

Spot on

I really want a Don't bully me I'll cum t-shirt, not sure what my DC will make of it! DS2 has a pin badge of a frog holding a banner that says MILF. My mum was confused when she saw it

I wouldn’t like it either op, so you’re not alone. However, we all do stupid things when we’re young and it will pass.

I had a "Fuct" one like the Ford logo because Zack from Rage Against The Machine had one when I was a teenager 😂🙈It's just part of being a teen/young adult

You're the problem here. You're a controlling weirdo. You wanted to storm into a shop and 'confront' them about what they sell, you wanted to rip your son's shirt off, and you asked his girlfriend to.throw the shirts away? Can you not see that this is insane behaviour? You'll lose him altogether if you carry. Fucking hell.

You're both as crackers as each other.