Worried about my 18 year old son buying joke shirts from Afflecks Palace

[ForSparklyFatball]

Hi everyone, I’m after some advice because I’m really not sure if I’m overreacting or not. My son is 18 and has started going into Manchester at weekends with his university mates. They’ve been spending time in Afflecks Palace, which I know is full of alternative stalls, but he came back yesterday with a couple of t-shirts from the shop on the top floor that does the t-shirt printing.
One of them says “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum” and the other was along similar lines with crude sexual humour. He thought they were hilarious and just a bit of edgy fun, but I’m honestly concerned. At 18 he’s an adult, yet these kinds of slogans seem to normalise really objectifying and inappropriate attitudes, especially towards women and sex. I’ve tried speaking to him about it calmly, explaining why it bothers me, but he just laughed it off and said it’s only a joke.
Has anyone else come across these sorts of shirts in Afflecks or had their own son or daughter bring something similar home? Am I making too much of it, or is this worth having a firmer conversation about? Any thoughts on how to approach it without it escalating would be really helpful. Thanks.

T-shirts with slogans should be banned. Clothes should be for wearing, not making statements. The only writing allowable should be a small manufacturers logo, but that is all.

Hang on a minute, you blamed yourself earlier. You said you failed as a mother. I definitely think it’s all your fault personally, based solely on this thread.

You’re automatically blaming the mum though when presumably there was a dad too?

i really feel for teenagers these days. Everything is so sanitised and lacking in fun compared to 30 years ago. I can’t imagine a mum making a fuss about t-shirts from the 1990s. We all made it out unscathed.

I wouldn’t like that either. Yuk.

Funny if you think you can’t buy this sort of thing in abundance at Camden Market, or any other similar places around the country. It isn’t localised to Afflecks.

It’s ok not to like it. OP’s reaction is very far from ok though.

I remember wearing a ‘Fat Willy’s Surf Shack’ T-shirt at his age. It was to shock, to be funny, and because I could. He’ll grow up and get over it, but the longer you say you don’t like it, the longer he’ll do it.

In the 1990s I wore a t-shirt on non-uniform day at my single sex private school which read “Jiffy Condoms contain 100% pure beef”. Wasn’t expelled.

My brother tried to buy a t-shirt in the late 1980s which had a picture of a cockerel on it and said “How about a great big cock to wake you up in the morning ?”. Our grandad wouldn’t let him buy that one. He was 12. My brother, not my grandad.

You sound uptight.

The bullying one is quite funny. Makes me think of all the wimpy kids nowadays.

Should be pinned to every thread these days tbh

@MandingoAteMyBaby

Our grandad wouldn’t let him buy that one. He was 12. My brother, not my grandad.

😆😆😆

Jumped the shark with this one

We really need the laughing emoji back!

Stop....using....cool...as...an....insult

I genuinely hate this trend on here to dismiss other women's opinions as "cool" because they do not conform to a narrow view of what they should be thinking or doing. It is a pathetic form of passive aggressive superiority.

Tbh I laughed at the 'don't bully me I'll cum' t-shirt...

If you want any kind of relationship with your son you need to keep this hysterical overreaction hidden from him. Trying to get his girlfriend involved in this??
I don't like the t shirt either and would probably make one comment about how seedy it makes him look, but then we'd move on. This is in no way a proportionate response.

I have a DS18. That T shirt would not be remaining in my house, neither would vapes or drugs. I warned his older brother at 18 if he got a tattoo on holiday (one of the group was planning this and encouraging the rest) he could find the money for uni accommodation etc himself.

He can wear edgy political slogans - but not ones that objectify women or promote drugs.

It's not that deep OP, you're really over thinking it.

I think 'edgy' t-shirts we're not the preserve of the 1980s and 90s. They're the preserve of the teens going through normal developmental stages.
They are designed to separate from the parental unit and willingly go out into the big wide world.

Poor parenting could involve doing that at a much younger age. Or it could involve stifling them so badly and quashing any ounce of personality that they end up failing to launch at all.

As a parent you can control what you find and what you share your space with. You can't control what they spend their money on or what they wear out.

My 15yo wanted a cunt hat. I strongly dislike the word so we compromised with a cannabis leaf hat.

I do think being disrespectful about men including, your husband is unlikely to teach respect - for people, women and milfs.

It’s not Afflecks Palace fault that your ds has rather tacky taste in clothes. I was buying vintage stuff in there in the 80s. I’m not quite sure why you’re so hung up on the place.

He transititioned into a "female".

Some parents on here are shamefull trying to controll 18 year olds, yes they are young but also adults.
This is why when they get away they they go low contact.

Its what happened with me i left home and never went back.

As a mum of one adult son, and Nan to 4 adult grandsons, I’d say you really need to lighten up. 🙄

Every generation, of teenagers, including mine, held their own little rebellions with ‘edgy’ clothes.

It passes - stop being a control freak, as it won’t end well.

You’re the only embarrassment on here.

my current favourite t shirt is a pride one which says ‘rock, paper scissors 😉’
I enjoy wearing that out at pride events or in the gay village.

My son is 12 and he loves a slogan t shirt. The ones with slightly dark humour are the best. While he’s a child I can stop him wearing anything offensive but once he’s an adult there nothing I’ll be able to do about it.