AIBU to be frustrated by repeated wolf-themed gifts?

[Herecomes]

I am an animal lover, I am especially a dog person meaning I like wolves too if we’re talking wildlife. My mum has taken this to mean I’m obsessed with wolves - I’m really not.

Every year at Christmas she buys me something wolf related … it started off as huge framed pictures (often featuring native Americans too 😂) and in the end I had so many massive pictures piled up the spare room that I made a point of telling her I am no longer buying wall pictures as I don’t like a lot of stuff on the walls and I’ve ran out of space. She got the hint and stopped buying me pictures … instead she started buying me huge blankets, fleece bed covers etc, again featuring wolves howling at the moon, native Americans, wolf eyes staring out of dark trees etc 🤦‍♀️

I ended up with a big pile of fleece blankets that were just sat there collecting dust. In the end I asked her if she wanted any blankets as I’m getting rid of loads as I have far too many and don’t use them. She got the hint.

Now … as my birthday this year was approaching she asked me what size clothing I was. I told her. I joked to DH that I’ll probably end up with a wolf fleece jacket for my birthday … I was wrong … I got 3 wolf fleece jackets for my birthday.

I don’t get it!!! I’m in my 30s, she sees me every week … surely she can see that I don’t wear stuff like this?? It was funny at first but now its getting frustrating. She gets upset and offended easily so I’ve tried to treat lightly but come on …

What would you do?? Or do I just carry on accepting this stuff and lying that I like it to keep the peace?

My daughter regretted “loving owls” from aged about 10 for many years. She now works with sea turtles so her presents have moved over from owls to turtles.
I keep telling her that she should just have been into money.

What about telling her what you would like to receive? Instead of what you dislike?

so you’d keep saying something along the lines of:
„I would love a new vase / you really can’t have enough vases, can’t you?“

„I‘ve recently fallen in love with hellebores. They’re just gorgeous! I’d love to fill the [insert garden space] with them.“

and then just repeat whatever item you’d like. Pick something she can’t personalise with woolf prints or pictures. So definitely no mugs or items of clothing 😅

You DONT like her gifts…

I feel rather horrible but yes, I’d agree with you. And preteens in a „phase“.

Gently telling her mother that she’s out of her wolf phase probably won’t help given the previous skull obsessions. Her mother will be offended and most likely move into a new theme.

sooo solutions:

1. Tell DM exactly what you would like. Aka: gardening tools, specific kinds of flowers, chocolate or similar. Invent a newly found obsession for chocolate?

2. Tell your DM that you have stopped doing physical gifts but that you would appreciate donations in our name or experience gifts. You could even direct your DM towards a wolf sanctuary or similar…

Number two seems like the more promising option, tbh! You can embellish it with a new found love for minimalism, not having enough space etc.

My mother got into the habit of gifting me butterfly related items - bags, belts, brooches etc. One birthday, after receiving a couple of naff butterfly cushions, I asked why she always got me stuff with butterflies on? She said "Well I thought you like butterflies". I said I do like butterflies but no more than anyone else likes butterflies. "But you had that blouse with butterflies on". Mum, you bought me that, and I was 12! The butterfly crap stopped.

We all need this shirt - we could become a team of superheroes

Try to think about why she buys the wolf things. I imagine she thinks of you with fondness everytime she sees a wolf item. And imagines she's bringing you joy. It makes her feel good and feel close to you. I do get it seems overwhelming. Can you start a new theme, like a new hobby? Good luck!!! I've been the target of serious giant earrings as gifts.

You could try asking her to donate to a Wolf preservation charity instead of giving you wolf themed gifts.

I am now humming 'Bright eyes' Thanks!😂

This made me laugh ….your mum thinks she’s being really thoughtful but she’s got a bit lazy over gift giving.
I would tell her your wolf obsession/howling at full moon is causing real problems between you and husband…. and you’ve had to seek professional help to get over it - will she please help by never buying you wolf related stuff again. Cry if necessary because you really, really need her help with this very serious problem!

It did give us a laugh... when preparing meals etc, a constant "Oh, you'll never guess what's printed on the chopping board" etc 🤣

There were also rabbit-themed cards from previous guests adorning every surface!

Sorry OP, but I'm crying with laughter at this as I feel your pain. My mother is the same (and would also take it badly if I told her). I get no end of cat related stuff because I love cats. Well, I love MY cats, but I don't want a cat themed house, cat clothes and cat jewellery! She absolutely loves buying gifts so this cat paraphernalia isn't just Christmas and birthdays - I get random cat gifts all the time.
She's also got her best mate on the case as well. Absolutely lovely woman, a total diamond, but I get cat paraphernalia off her as well now. I can just imagine the fun they must have out shopping together, looking for new cat tat for me!

Sorry no advice OP but this has really made me laugh 😂

This is hysterical. Can you share a photo?

This was the first three wolf moon shirt i found, there's tons of others with even better reviews!

Nominate for classics MumsnetHQ
HOWLING!!!

She doesn't know what else to buy you. Give her some ideas.

Say you’ve gone off wolves , say you like gold and diamonds now lol

Wolf power tools are good. Ask her for a drill.

I used to have a colleague who idly mentioned that she liked tigers. Now she is inundated on every possible occasion with tiger stuff. People don't think!

I don't understand people who "hint", I especially don't understand people who hint and then can't understand why the person they're hinting to doesn't get the hint! Just tell her! You don't have to be nasty about it, or rude, but be clear. It's not hard.

You can join the wolf fleece group on Facebook!

Sorry OP. It also made me laugh sorry. I can imagine how frustrated you feel. How about you say something like I'm off/fed up of wolves now? Just a thought. Good luck xx

I normally never have a laugh on Mumsnet. It takes a lot to get menopausal me to genuinely giggle. Your post was the exception, OP. Thank you 😄 🐺

My mother did this when I was a teenager. She decided I loved the Pierrot design and I’m not kidding when I say my bedroom became a blooming Pierrot advert like THIS. FFS I was a goth! She had the cheek to complain I bought her some earrings more than once later in life!