to find menopausal weight management mentally exhausting and restrictive?

[caretoshare]

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.

How much exercise do you do each day and how much time does it take? I think you said you run at least 9 miles a day it that true and how long does it take?

I exercise a lot compared to most working women I know (although some of the non-working ones might do more as they have more time) but I am slowly regaining the weight I lost on an average of 1300 cals (carefully tracked) a day.

I do around 7 hours of dedicated exercise a week (a run or a circuit or weightlifting every day). How much more do I need to do to achieve your promise of eating what I like?

Not the way you're doing it, no.

I don't disagree that we're all different and some of us don't struggle with it. But you keep banging on and on (rudely) without saying anything new or useful.

And who here is commenting on other people's children's lunches? Bizarre addition to the thread.

I do an hour of cardio every day and walk c.10-15km on top of that. I do strength training for 20 mins typically three days a week plus a couple of planks a day, although know it should be more on the strength side for long term muscle and bone health. I feel very cooped up if I can't manage this so it's not like I am forcing myself to exercise but I think it becomes a self perpetuating thing once you get into it.

1300 calories a day is not tolerable. Maybe it would help to add more fibre?

So you exercise basically 3 hours a day?

‘Plenty of people eat only one meal a day.’ Really? I should teach my daughters that dropping one or two meals a day is fine?
i just don’t feel comfortable with the very obvious
“you guys are eating but I’m not. Again.”

Yes and I think if you really think about it sitting still for those three hours is a bit weird!

There are 16 waking hours and you're already spending the extra 8 lying down

So how long does it take you to walk 15km? It sounds like you are lucky enough to be able to devote many hours a day to exercise which is not realistic for most people.

I think you might be starting to get it, 1300 calories a day is NOT tolerable, it's miserable. That is the whole point of this thread.

I mostly eat vegetables, protein and beans/lentils so my macros are good but I cannot entertain the thought of either dropping more calories or somehow finding the time and energy to add another couple of hours of exercise to each day around a full time job. I'm pretty sure you are just a wind up merchant but you have at least given me the chance to complain about how awful this all is.

You don't need to teach your daughters anything you don't want to. No doubt they will hear about people only eating once or twice a day sooner or later. It is impossible to keep them sheltered from everything.

My DC understand that they are growing and need more food than I do. I am not going to eat meals like they do otherwise I will put huge amounts of weight on. They see their grandparents eat tiny meals and are not scarred for life. They are going to be exposed to all sorts.

Most people have the time but choose to do other things instead (sitting in front of the TV really isn't something anyone should be doing - you can get a home cross trainer). Obviously having intense caring responsibilities or health issues get in the way but that's not an issue for most.

It genuinely gets on my wick how much burden is put on the NHS by people who think walking is unfathomable

Do you have a career or a family?

Also, maybe some people exercise to the point they think they need cosmetic surgery and have saggy faces, you know?

I work full time in a professional job and have a family yes

Agree. Steroids compounded the difficulties. Getting it down slowly. Have seriously cut what I eat and being very careful to include healthy things.

I became overweight at 52. What helped lose the excess was making sure I did over 10,000 steps every day plus lifting heavy things and including more fibre and protein in my diet. This means not eating the usual things most people eat- everything is whole wheat versions, which I’m now used to and prefer.

Should I tuck my wheelchair under my arm while I’m watching TV from the cross trainer?

Not everyone can walk, run or find the time or energy to do huge amounts of exercise.

Sleep is so important. Easy to say though as that also goes out the window.

I did explicitly say some people can't for health or caring reasons. Most people could but choose to calorie restrict instead, which I find inexplicable.

So, if you work, say eight hours a day, let's assume, being conservative, 30 mins on either end to either get somewhere or get set up, and you exercise for 3, that's 12 hours accounted for. If you sleep for eight, that leaves 4 hours in your day for showering, getting dressed, family, friends, cooking, eating, hobbies, reading, life admin, following the news, educating yourself, keeping your brain nimble? I call either BS or you have some serious issues.

How much of the day do you sit on your bum watching TV and wondering why you can't eat anything without getting fat??

Three hours in a weekday is ambient time. Walk before work half an hour, walk to the office half an hour walk around the office and to the shops at lunch 45 minutes walk to the gym 45 minutes walk home half an hour round trip to Lidl to get some stuff for dinner half an hour or walk to see friends at the pub one hour round trip or just a bit of fresh air half an hour

It is really depressing that you think this is unlikely

And lol at "keep my brain nimble" I'm pretty sure I manage ok

You might want to read my posts. For someone with such a nimble brain you see to have trouble taking in information.

And yeah, so you're talking about normal life. Not exercising for 3 hours a day.

*You might want to look up the definition of ambient.

I've just had a look at your other threads. You have bigger issues than people with a little menopausal weight gain. I'll leave you to it.

Hm you're the one trying to normalise midlife eating disorders

Yes I am talking about normal life - I do cardio for for an hour, I walk for about three, I do a bit more strength, I ate a three course dinner tonight and I feel good

I am laughing at the idea that it is easy to fit in 3 hours of walking a day! Not all of us have the luxury of being able to walk to work, my job is 30 miles away so I drive. I am up at 5, go to the gym for a hour then get ready for work and drive to the office. I try to walk for 30
mins at lunch but my schedule doesn’t always allow it, I work 9 hours in a demanding professional job and then get home about 7. I either have to drive my teens to activities or maybe I have some time to meal prep and then it’s time for bed. 3 hours a day is a luxury most of us don’t have and I consider myself pretty privileged because I have the time to go to the gym every day

I feel your pain. The lack of periods makes me feel bloated constantly 😫 Also, bra size keeps increasing so I have to size up in tops. Eating less and still same amount of exercise. It's all very frustrating.