AIBU to ask if you’d like to have your own bedroom?

[EllisIsEllis]

Inspired by some comments on the bathroom thread to ask this.

Recently my DH and I moved into separate bedrooms due to his snoring, and we both love it! We feel well rested and enjoy each having our own space.

If you are in a relationship, would you want your own bedroom if you had the space?

YABU - No, I prefer to share
YANBU - Yes, I’d love to have my own room

I'm the opposite, I need to be ice cold to get off to sleep and another human body in there with me is just too much!

Separate bedrooms isn't just preferable for us, it's a necessity. I think both of us were long-term single for so long before we met each other that we never really learned to sleep properly in company. Quality of sleep is so important.

I once had a one night stand with a man like you - I actually thought he was trying to climb into my skin, he was cuddling me so much afterwards. I was so pleased we were at his place so I could just leave! We were not compatible.

We had separate bedrooms. He snored, I have insomnia. I ended up with whichever kids couldn't sleep and obviously worked when the kids were ina cot to have them with me and I breastfed.

You do realise you can have a strong and loving relationship and prefer to sleep alone?

Also most people fit in a bed, no need to be a teeny tiny slim.

Cuddle vs no cuddle is divisive and I don’t think I could be with a non cuddler. My ex was a non cuddler and told me all men hate it so I was very happy when I found someone who actually likes it but I do understand why some people don’t like it.

I prefer sleeping in the same bed, we live in separate houses though so most of the time sleeping alone. He snores but it doesn't keep me awake or wake me up so I don't really mind it. I do sleep separately though if I'm poorly because he's a light sleeper and I feel guilty waking him up all the time

I have my own room. Before we did this I would regularly be in tears at 3am as I seethed with resentment at the peacefully snoring DH as I struggled with insomnia. It was a difficult conversation to have but I think I would have eventually cracked and demanded divorce if we hadn't.

Used to like sharing but as we got older , sleep patterns change , snoring was a huge problem and we had the room so out he went . Then I painted and decorated it to my own liking .

A separate bedroom would probably be a step too far (apart from when one of us is ill - then he goes to the spare room). But we have a super king bed, separate bathrooms and I have my own dressing room, all of which are essential to a happy, loving relationship!

We don't have separate rooms but we do sleep in separate beds. We have done for about 10 years after he had a seizure and thumped me in the face. He was distraught the next morning and insisted on getting our own beds to prevent him from doing it again.

My daughters are in their twenties and have both already said that would be their ideal. Sounds great to me, your own space when you want it.

No. I love sharing our queen-sized bed. How else would I warm my icy feet in winter?

Seriously though, neither my DH nor I have any antisocial sleeping habits, and we love snuggling up at night. We haven't had reason to be apart in years now, and I honestly think I'd struggle to sleep without him.

We don't have own rooms, but I sleep in spare room about 50% of time as DH is a huge fidget and wakes me up often and I get super tired. Or sometimes we fall asleep together and if he wakes me I move part way through the night.
Our best case scenario wouod be 2 double beds in same room right next to each other, but of course few bedrooms accommodate that. We had it on holiday a couple times and was lovely. Together, but with our own space and own duvets

I don’t see any issues with separate rooms at all. I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often. DH and I have different sleeping habits; he’s a night owl, I like an early night. He’s a heavy sleeper; I’m easily disturbed. He snores; I’m restless and move around a lot. Makes total sense to sleep separately some of the time.

I like sharing a bed with my DP. I'd quite like my own little mini living room to retreat to sometimes though.

I don’t actively NOT want separate bedrooms. But we’re both small/sleep without spreading our arms wide etc, and neither of us snore, so for us sharing causes no issues at all.

I think I’d miss sharing a bed as it’s a moment of the day to really be present with only each other. We’ve got a toddler so don’t get any other alone time. We do have a super king bed though so both have plenty of space and use separate blankets in summer because he gets much hotter than me.

I imagine it’s something that changes over the years though. We never even showered apart for our first 5 years together, and I definitely wouldn’t share a shower now!

What I’d really like is separate hobby rooms. But at the moment I don’t really have time for any hobbies anyway. Hopefully that’ll change in the next couple of years.

Separate bedrooms here for the last twenty years and we love it, we watch television, read and cuddle in bed together and then separate for the actual sleeping. Then enthusiastically reunite in the morning for more cuddles. I would never give up my own bedroom!

Same. I love falling asleep with my DH beside me. It's a bit of a novelty when he's away for some reason and I have the bed to myself - I like it for a couple of days and then I want him back next to me.

Same, bed to myself for a day or two is like a fun sleep over but by day three I’m trying to bribe the cat to cuddle with me

No, I love sharing with DP, but I would like separate bathrooms!

When i got ill with joint problems we thought we could solve our issues with a super king size bed.

DH is twice my weight and when he moves in bed my joints can get really sore.

It didnt work.

So we've gone from sharing a single as students, to a double, to a super king and now have separate rooms and its amazing.

No snoring, no mismatched bedtimes, no resentment over space. Still in love but the gleem of sharing a very tight space really wears off after over 20 years.

We are lucky to have the space, most of my friends who know are dying for the kids to move out so they can do it too.

Especially those with a larger husband (mostly small wife/tall husband) and snoring which has become worse in their mid 40s-50s

We still lie in bed and chat, have sex, then for actual sleeping retreat to our own rooms.

I ended up with a hospital bed so currently I'm in the smallest bedroom.

Its also got a bevy of skincare, makeup, books and craft suppiles.

But once DC move out (if ever) Im planning my move - DH is out of the master bedroom with his huge bed and im getting the big wardrobe for my sole use

I can see the point of it, especially with snoring issues, my DH is a terrible snorer but luckily I've got used to it to the extent that I can sleep through it. If it's really bothering me I just kick him and say "shut uuuuuuuup!" and that gives me a bit of respite.

I like being able to reach out for a cuddle when I want one (usually because I'm cold 😂) so I am ok with sharing but I can see the attraction of separate spaces too.

We had separate for about 5 months (30 years together) and have now moved back in together. Mostley reason for separated sleeping was due to different sleeping habits. When we were separate we bother ended up every night sleeping on our side of the bed leaving space on the other side for our missing partner. Neither of us used the whole bed. We both felt lonely. We now sleep in tune and the sleepy mid night cuddle triggers deep sleep. Maybe some couples need a break for a while and then they can reconnect their sleeping. Having an option if it isn't working that night is also always good too. If it's restless for whatever reason you can just move into next bedroom.

If I wanted my own bedroom, I could have it, but I much prefer sharing with DH. My own bathroom, though - that would be lovely!