To disagree with home ed

[Freshton]

Unless in extreme cases (ie SEN, extreme mental health or other complex needs) or parent is qualified teacher, I fundamentally disagree with home ed.

It's insular and doesn't prepare kids for the real world.

I've seen first hand some shocking examples that I can't go into for confidentiality reasons but common thread was parents arrogantly assumed they had same skills as teachers with masters degrees. Reality was kids were really behind, had no proper structure or routine.

It's worrying that so many people see home ed as a viable lifestyle choice. I know school system not perfect at all but isolating children at home or in small home ed group echo chambers isn't healthy.

I think you don’t know what home ed is . I’ve recently been to a graduation party of a kid who was home Ed with my son (24 ) he graduated medicine , his sister is a solicitor too . Unless people are doing it wrong there is no reason for any child to be unprepared for real life .

If state schooling was as good as it should be then there wouldn't be nearly the rise in HE that there is.

Schools are a relatively modern phenomenon and fail thousands of children every year so it is just as reasonable for someone to be 'against state schooling' as it is for you to be against home education.

Home Educators are not calling for a ban on schools so what gives anyone the right to say HE should be banned when it pre-dates school by centuries and is the default education.

My DC were HE up to and including GCSE level and all now have A levels and good jobs. Oh and plenty of friends of all ages and hobbies! I wouldn't put a child in most state secondaries if you paid me and that should always remain my choice.

I know someone who's child struggled at nursery so she decided to home educate him. Plus the subsequent 3 other children. None of them have ever attended school. Eldest is now 16, no qualifications or social skills. Spends all his time at home or occasionally walking the dog. Never allowed out on his own, always with the family. Its a horrible situation.

Sadly I know a home Ed family like this where the children average ten hours a day screen time! Massively overweight and fast food is ubered for lunch. The mother (who is an educator herself) refuses to teach them herself - for some unknown reason.

Her kids were harassing my child to play online all throughout the day. Obviously my child was busy with actual work or lessons but it was sad to hear the other children so bored.

The mother tells everyone what a wonderful job she is doing teaching them and it is mind boggling. I had to cut contact.

I most definitely agree OP

People are welcome to home educate their kids if they feel up to it but honestly, myself & DH couldn’t imagine anything worse than doing this to our kids

Also, how would you go to work & earn a living? You know, to pay the bills and all that

If you don't agree with it, don't do it💁🏻‍♀️

leave other people to make their own decisions.

Home edding doesn't have to mean the kids only hear your world view.

My town has a huge home ed community. Lots of outings, meet ups, trips, group learning and activities, eg a Spanish group, a coding club, a yoga class, etc.

There are also so many opportunities for home learning online as well if you don't have as large a community locally.

Kids mixing with lots of different families and ages.

I think it's important we keep the parental right to choose our children's educations. State schools leave a lot to be desired in some areas.

Well being checks can be made if safeguarding is a concern.

I did home ed as a temporary measure for one of my kids a while back and would do the same again if I needed to. Whatever option is best for my child's needs is the option I'd choose, and I don't want that choice taken away from me.

Oh great, yet another home ed bashing thread 🙄🙄🙄

Although, seems I meet your approval as a qualified teacher and child with SEN. Thanks, much appreciated 🙄🙄🙄

If I’m completely honest I think some people shouldn’t be allowed to home school but I should. Hypocritical.

l’m very academic with some teaching experience (tho not with young kids). I wanted to go faster than my school (selective) could accommodate, I wish I’d had the option to focus more on what I liked and less on what I didn’t, I’d like to give my kids that option if they want it. And honestly I think I’d do a better job for my own kids than many teachers would in most subjects (bearing in mind that I’m comparing teaching one vs 30, teaching as a profession is hard) and I could afford tutoring for the subjects I can’t teach.

Still, I get the fear around it and the potential for abuse. It makes school effectively optional. Which could make sense — I’m not personally convinced that increasing the length of compulsory education has been beneficial for all — but then we need to debate and decide that as a society and make sure there are other good paths. I’d love to see more alternative education options, more practical and vocational paths earlier, more adult education if you want to return to the academic path later. But all of that needs thinking about. An option to pull your kids from school with no real plan for their future is all kinds of dumb.

If you think that is bad, a lot of schools are teaching young children they can change sex and if they identify with regressive stereotypes associated with the opposite sex then they should demand everyone believe they are the opposite sex. This crap has even got as far as schools ignoring safeguarding and the law to allow boys to strip off in front of girls or take part in girls sport.

I’m having to temporarily home school until July when DD goes to high school due to SEN & bullying. But oh my god I’m not cut out for teaching nor do I remember 80% of what I was taught! I thought it’d be as simple as reading out questions and marking with a calculator but ohhhhh no! Have had to employ a tutor. Believe me it wasn’t an easy decision but an absolutely necessary one. My point is, it’s terrifying to think of parents with very little education themselves or those who simply aren’t very clever, are actually choosing to do this! Terrifying and baffling in equal measure.

Mean numbers, anyone?

Bad home Ed just like bad schools produces a bad outcome for kids.

good home Ed like good schools produce good outcomes.

it’s all in how you do it.

the family I know who did it - did it well. Very low income family - 3 kids but mum dedicated herself to home Ed.

she joined a local home Ed group and the children socialised with them and did group activities and sports etc with them . they pooled resources and talent and shared this with the kids

they went to libraries and museums and were avid readers of both fiction (literature) and factual stuff - they didn’t use set curriculums in earlier years - following the kids interests to inspire them but you never met more rounded and interesting young people who were well educated in traditional subjects but also the arts and culture etc.

All passed GCSE’s and a levels and are amazing young people who really are social and definitely had a broader and more stimulating education than they would have received in our local state schools and without all the peer pressure and drama of 35 in a class .

I appreciate not all home Ed is of this calibre but you have to also appreciate that school is often very low calibre. So often kids are left behind or not able to learn due to behaviour issues and distractions of other students or the bullying culture or lack of resources and sometimes even bad teachers. Many are out sounding but not all are. .

i don’t think one system is better than the other intrinsically - it is so dependant on the philosophy and commitment and skill of individuals that make a good school or good home educator.

I was "forced" to home educate my ASD son for almost 2 years (y8-y9) because he had a mental breakdown. It was extremely difficult. I had to study core subjects in the evening in order to try to teach them during the day to my mentally fragile son with mild learning disabilities. I think it was easier for him to understand 1:1 but I almost had a breakdown myself just teaching Maths, English and History. Thank God his mental health improved somewhat and that he got a place in SENE afterwards which was more adapted to his needs.

@Freshton YANBU

@Freshton I also 100% agree with you about the necessity of getting different perspectives which you will only get by mixing with different people (teachers and students). It's the base for critical thinking.

I'm not a fan of home ed, but can understand that for some children it is the 'least worst' option. Schools need to sort themselves out. The learning environment they provide for children is just awful in many cases - stressful, boring, non-nurturing, confrontational, layered with unreasonable expectations.

Getting rid of compulsory, uncomfortable uniforms including blazers and ties would be a start and would make school instantly more accessible to children with sensory issues.

Qualified teacher here. I thought I would home Ed my kids until I had them and realised that parent/child relationship is VERY different from teacher/child. All 3 went to school. All 3 of them have had a rough ride and although attended “good” state schools I think schools are struggling so much and are not a good environment for many many kids (or teachers). One of mine dropped out in Y10 and we have home edded since then. She got 9 GCSEs at 7+ and is on track to get 3 A* at A level. She socialises with her sport, and has some tutoring support. She has ASD but not obviously so. Home Ed is not ideal in many ways but the system is so broken for so many kids a huge number of them feel they have no choice. We have been trying to get an EHCP for our DD for years but the seven circles of hell doesn’t begin to describe that process. I would much rather she were in education that met her needs, but it’s just not there. Although there are perhaps some who are choosing HE and then neglecting their kids, I would guess there are a vast majority struggling with the school system and that is the main reason. I know five families in my wider circle where at least one child cannot attend school and they are all sick with worry and trying to support their kids (mostly with ND and/or physical or mental health challenges).

My dd asked to be home educated a few times at the start of secondary. She didn’t cope well at all with mainstream and these were lockdown years, so it would have been worse had she gone full time. I switched her to private school, but she still needed 121 support, so has had lots of private tutoring on top.

Teachers never identified any issues with dd’s learning or any additional needs. Turns out she has SEND and has gone through the entirety of the education system undiagnosed. She’s year 13 and this is all a new discovery. And yes, I did ask people before if they thought dd had any additional needs to be told no and in year 10, all her teachers were all surveyed. Zero issues reported. And I should have trusted my gut, but I deferred to people, who I thought would know better than me.

Had I been physically well, I would have home educated. However, I struggled to look after dd as was so she would not have learned well from me and idk if she’d have been up for constant tutoring.

Of course there are parents, who do a disservice to their children. But to say home education should only be for a narrow set of kids, would be sending kids like my dd into a situation, they can can’t cope with. Until you walk a mile in the shoes of parents, who are genuinely doing their best for their kids, you don’t know what it’s like. On paper, my dd should have been fine at her former state school. But she most definitely was not.

I'm not keen on home ed but recognise that sometimes its necessary, when schools can't meet a child's needs so would not want it banned but would want a good level of monitoring as although I'm sure many home educators do a good job there are also those that don't, and those children shouldn't be sacrificed for the comfort and privacy of the parents that are doing well. It will be a bother for the parents but that's better than letting some children miss out on education.

Monitoring is also important for safeguarding. While many home educated children will be out and about huge amounts, see professionals regularly (doctors, dentists, tutors etc.) there will be others that are isolated. Frankly I think it would be good if the UK adopted regular health checks for children, like where I live now - every year at school children get a check up with the nurse and every few years an indepth check up with the doctor. Health conditions, physical and mental, are screened for, blood pressure and scoliosis checks, vision and hearing, and a chance for children to disclose any concerns, worries, or issues. Teachers give their view on how the child copes in class so learning issues and additional needs are screened for every year. This would help all children, those in school and those home educated. (These check ups are also done below school age)

How will they cope in life? It’s easy to think they can’t cope, but many do. A lot of SEN pupils thrive. Most who don’t thrive have parents who do not support the school and who are pandered at home.

Trying to cope in mainstream with the barrage of SEN needs, stretching and challenging the brightest, supporting those at a disadvantage plus EAL kids in one classroom is a challenge, for sure. I can understand why parents feel their child’s needs aren’t always met.

Smaller class sizes, adaptive curriculums (to better meet an SEN child’s needs) and more TAs would all be helpful but there isn’t the funding to implement.

I might have agreed with you years ago.I have 6 kids all grown and all been through the school system,I've had kids in school for the best part of 38 years and seen a massive decline over the years, due to this I home educated my daughter for her last 2 years as school were failing her badly .it really wasn't that difficult, without the school environment she absolutely thrived and passed all her GCSEs, which we had to pay for as a private candidate.Shes now at college studying Criminology and Law. The current school system is not fit for purpose in my opinion and parents should be able to opt out if they choose to

I don’t know how insular it is really, it depends how the parents handle it. Some would argue it’s less insular because they do x and y and as a result meet people from all walks of life rather than just a group of peers and a teacher.

A friend of mine does it, she has pretty much from the start and her eldest is now 16. She’s into horse riding, scouts, plays guitar and volunteers at an animal shelter. I think her life has been good, she’s been exposed to more than lots of school kids are!

I agree. I know a family that are ‘unschooling’ their 10yo can’t read because he hasn’t asked to learn. How are they meant to become functional adults??

I think there needs to be a lot more oversight so kids aren’t falling through the cracks. I think parents need to be able to show what they’re doing, prove they are following some sort of curriculums and for children to have some checks to see how they are developing. If there is neglect (not necessary physical but education being totally neglected) then there should be a mechanism to ensure children are back in normal education. I don’t know to what extent that exists in home education currently.

I am not against HE as a general concept or in a limited capacity. I flexischool my DD1, so she goes to school four days a week and one day we do other stuff, and that works really well. I wouldn’t HE every day and I do think a lot of people who HE are totally out of their depth.

I home educated my eldest until he was 10 (went to school in year 5).

Combination of living really rurally and the schools not being great and we had the opportunity to travel a lot with ex dh work.

I did very formal learning with ds, had a tutor come in twice a week for English and maths. We were registered with the local authority and a nice man would come out from them once a year, have a cup of tea, tick some boxes and sod off again. That really didn’t make me popular with other home ed families who saw me as the devil for those things.

I saw some shocking things with other families. It was almost a badge of honor if your kid was 8 and couldn’t read and just spent all day up a tree.

We moved to London the summer before he started year 5 and he went to school - I wouldn’t have contemplated HE and having to start again with groups and sift out all the absolute bellend parents you come across.

I’ve had two other children since who have been to school from the off. I would never consider home ed due to the other parents you meet.

ETA the only time my son ever experienced bullying was at home ed groups. And I can’t stand the “the know children of all ages!” Crap. I used to see miserable 13 years olds have to hang out with 8 year olds while parents would pat themselves on the back and say, “this wouldn’t happen in school!” No. It wouldn’t. They would have had a fighting chance of knowing other children their own age.