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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder on the future of generous welfare in the UK

1000 replies

happybug1234 · 11/05/2026 12:51

It seems increasingly obvious that many middle-income families are becoming frustrated at how squeezed they are financially, while at the same time seeing people on universal credit receive a growing range of subsidies and support — £1 attraction tickets on days out, a 6% rise in benefits this financial year, childcare costs reclaimable through Universal Credit, housing benefit, and so on. I see thread after thread on this on this site and also increasing momentum in the media on this issue (income cliff edges etc)

In my own extended family, 1 unemployed parent with the other on min wage, in social housing appear to have more holidays and more disposable income than we do, despite us both working full time with a household income of around £95k. Once childcare, mortgage, insurances, commuting and tax are taken into account, we 100% have a lower level of disposable income than they do as they do not have any of these work related costs and their rent is paid. They have recently gone on a 2 week holiday whilst the most we can ever afford is 1 week.

Quite a few teachers in my friendship circle are declining promotion opportunities or TLR because the extra pay often doesn’t feel worth the additional stress once tax, pension contributions and childcare costs are factored in. Instead, some are putting more effort into private tutoring, which is tax free cash in hand.

What is stopping the government from addressing this as people seek to be responding accordingly in their behaviour!

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 11/05/2026 17:09

happybug1234 · 11/05/2026 15:23

But those top ups bring them up to the same standard of disposable income as middle class families. So what is the point of earning more money if you are going to be not better off in practice?

This is a very important question. Why do you even more money, knowing you won't be better off?

Greenknightsuccess · 11/05/2026 17:09

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 11/05/2026 13:08

Have you got a very expensive mortgage? Only affording 1 weeks holiday a year on that household income does seem unusual. I’m wondering about the breakdown of your household expenses.

As for your question. I think the media and public’s focus on the benefits bill and immigration as the root cause of the cost of living crisis is misleading. If you take away the spend on pensions, only 12% of government spend is on welfare.

When it’s broken down I imagine a lot of that spend you’d actually agree with, especially when you saw the personal stories (eg supporting severely disabled, supporting families struck down with cancer and other life limiting illnesses, supporting people who are suddenly made unemployed through no fault of their own, women leaving domestic abuse situations, and on and on).

If the government cut down the spend on the bits you disagree with, the overall saving would be minimal. You wouldn't see a saving on your individual tax bill, maybe a pound or two a month.

The rest of government spend goes towards things like universal education, healthcare, police, defence, infrastructure, highway maintenance, keeping a highly organised society functional and productive.

Focus on benefit claimants is an easy target and avoids focus on what’s actually making life expensive such as mortgage and rents, every day living expenses, energy prices (which the government is working to bring down through Great British Energy).

Edited

I am always staggered when people say the savings would be minimal - so let’s not bother making them. Every little counts, you know.

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:09

Wynter25 · 11/05/2026 17:08

Its really not.. like i said ill be upping to 30 when youngest is 3. I can do what i want and will enjoy my kids. Will not miss out on anything.

You shouldn’t be able to do what you want - at the expense of others. Fund yourself like we do

Wynter25 · 11/05/2026 17:10

Plugg · 11/05/2026 17:09

How are you funding this?

Edited

Im good with money and have savings.

Plugg · 11/05/2026 17:10

Wynter25 · 11/05/2026 17:10

Im good with money and have savings.

So no money from the state whatsoever? Do what you like then. I apologise.

Wynter25 · 11/05/2026 17:10

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:09

You shouldn’t be able to do what you want - at the expense of others. Fund yourself like we do

Like ive said im good with money and have savings. Im hardly rich. Also a single parent.

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:11

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:07

Personal responsibility doesn’t exist does it?

I don't know the ins and outs of @Wynter25 situation, but she may well be a single mum who is holding on to a part time job whist her youngest is still small.
She has the chance to up her hours when need be, and that is what the system lets her do. Or she might have a partner who is not on a great wage so they get top ups anyway.
The taxpayer will be funding her benefits, or the childcare. Does it matter to you which? I am sure Wynter25 prefers to spend that time she will never get back with her small child.

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:12

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:11

I don't know the ins and outs of @Wynter25 situation, but she may well be a single mum who is holding on to a part time job whist her youngest is still small.
She has the chance to up her hours when need be, and that is what the system lets her do. Or she might have a partner who is not on a great wage so they get top ups anyway.
The taxpayer will be funding her benefits, or the childcare. Does it matter to you which? I am sure Wynter25 prefers to spend that time she will never get back with her small child.

The system shouldn’t allow it.

And how many mums are NOT spending time with their DC as they’re working to fund her benefits? Stop being ridiculous

Crikeyalmighty · 11/05/2026 17:12

happybug1234 · 11/05/2026 13:15

Tho is it also. If I fall in hard times there is very little welfare for me as we have a mortgage and so wouldn’t be entitled to universal credit.

Not true, would depend on your income, not owning your house- although you wouldn’t get mortgage allowed for apart from short term loans

Freddiesfortune · 11/05/2026 17:12

@Cocktailglass
Maybe you shouldn’t believe everything you read. A theoretical scenario such as you mentioned and even if some (a tiny amount) of families have SO MANY disabled members I doubt they are all bouncing off to the Tower of London every week just to take advantage of the £1 offer or whatever it is.

OP

I have a severely disabled child.
I promise you and anyone else who thinks “a life on benefits” is a great game…
I work part- time because I’m the
only person in the world (currently) who can care for her. There are no after school clubs or wraparound care or family or friends or whatever to care.
She keeps me up ALL night most nights. I get maybe 2-3 hours sleep a night.
My husband is self-employed and therefore we don’t qualify for UC (no £1 tickets here). We have a mortgage.
We both have PhDs.
He works in his chosen career.
I get to beg for incontinence pads and hydrotherapy (and get denied) and do dietician and SALT and orthopaedic and school and GP and OT and NDT and spinal and bladder and kidney and dental and maxillofacial appointments.
I get paid minimum wage to watch over rich families’ children during lunch at a private school.
I get carer’s allowance- all £342 per month.
I used to work in law for the civil service and 21 years ago had a salary of £46,000 before added amounts.
It’s not the taxpayers fault (me being one of them) that I had a disabled child.
It’s not mine either.
The economy won’t collapse because certain PRIVATE enterprises decide to add to their income via reduced entry fees

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:13

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:12

The system shouldn’t allow it.

And how many mums are NOT spending time with their DC as they’re working to fund her benefits? Stop being ridiculous

Edited

Well it does. But you are attacking someone who is not actually doing anything wrong.

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:13

Wynter25 · 11/05/2026 17:10

Like ive said im good with money and have savings. Im hardly rich. Also a single parent.

If you have savings you should be spending that and not claiming

LathkillDale · 11/05/2026 17:13

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:05

Why should people on benefits have children? I’m not saying it’s a legislative matter but can you make 1 good argument why somebody too disabled to look after themselves or work and needs state financing, is somehow well enough to have children which is FAR harder and more emotionally/physically/mentally draining than working?

Anyone can become disabled at any time. I already had three children, when a lorry crashed into the back of my car - I was in a right turn lane, waiting to turn right in the face of heavy oncoming traffic. The lorry decided to overtake a bus in the left hand lane, failing to consider someone might be stationary in the right hand lane.

I’ve suffered a chronic painful condition ever since, requiring painkilling injections. I don’t claim benefits; but had the crash been worse, I might have had to.

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:14

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:13

Well it does. But you are attacking someone who is not actually doing anything wrong.

She is in my eyes. Just as I’m sure working people who don’t enjoy grafting to the bone to fund lazy people seem to be doing something wrong in yours!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 11/05/2026 17:14

I hope you tell your colleagues who work for cash in hand that they are tax evaders and that you're as critical of them as you would be of a person on UC cleaning (for a lot less per hour) for cash in hand @happybug1234 ?

Plugg · 11/05/2026 17:14

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:11

I don't know the ins and outs of @Wynter25 situation, but she may well be a single mum who is holding on to a part time job whist her youngest is still small.
She has the chance to up her hours when need be, and that is what the system lets her do. Or she might have a partner who is not on a great wage so they get top ups anyway.
The taxpayer will be funding her benefits, or the childcare. Does it matter to you which? I am sure Wynter25 prefers to spend that time she will never get back with her small child.

If you’re living of the state, ‘when need be’ is now. She should be working full time, obviously.

jeez the entitlement on here from some is mindblowing!

Perrygreen · 11/05/2026 17:15

"If you worked full time, you would get childcare also funded by the taxpayer, and they would still bitch about it."

Yep. I always think its mental how I got over 1k in childcare tax credits alone for over three years so I could work. That's money I will never earn enough to pay back. I would have saved the country money being allowed to be a SAHM and had time to study (had to give it up as I couldn't fit it in around work and kids and health).

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:15

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:13

If you have savings you should be spending that and not claiming

UC is means tested and her savings will have already been taken into account. You can have up to £16k before they are stopped.

Would you rather fund her benefits so she can spend time with her child, or pay for her childcare so she can increase her hours? Neither is not an option.

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:16

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:15

UC is means tested and her savings will have already been taken into account. You can have up to £16k before they are stopped.

Would you rather fund her benefits so she can spend time with her child, or pay for her childcare so she can increase her hours? Neither is not an option.

Pay for or the childcare. She would be providing a service then. You rely on working mums even if you think you don’t. Nobody should be financed as a special exception.

Teawithfrenchtoast · 11/05/2026 17:16

Wynter25 · 11/05/2026 17:08

Its really not.. like i said ill be upping to 30 when youngest is 3. I can do what i want and will enjoy my kids. Will not miss out on anything.

Are you sure there will be hours available for you to up your hours at any given point in time?

Slightyamusedandsilly · 11/05/2026 17:16

And I'm sorry, but I'll save my pity for the unemployed and disabled. Not for a family on 95K a year.

Give your head a Mumsnet wobble.

chargingdock · 11/05/2026 17:16

Certainly things will be very different for future pensioners vs today’s ones.

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:16

Plugg · 11/05/2026 17:14

If you’re living of the state, ‘when need be’ is now. She should be working full time, obviously.

jeez the entitlement on here from some is mindblowing!

Then you will still be paying for her childcare. She is a single mum. What is she meant to do, leave her child in a library and sneak off to work.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 11/05/2026 17:16

XenoBitch · 11/05/2026 17:02

You can't win on here. If you worked full time, you would get childcare also funded by the taxpayer, and they would still bitch about it.

What they really mean, is that people on low wage/benefits should not be having kids at all. It will come out... it always does on thread like these.

I have no problem with people on low incomes getting top ups, I have a problem with people who are capable of working not doing and getting supported.

And I think everyone should be entitled to childcare support if they are working or need it for another genuine reason

Walkyrie · 11/05/2026 17:17

Perrygreen · 11/05/2026 17:15

"If you worked full time, you would get childcare also funded by the taxpayer, and they would still bitch about it."

Yep. I always think its mental how I got over 1k in childcare tax credits alone for over three years so I could work. That's money I will never earn enough to pay back. I would have saved the country money being allowed to be a SAHM and had time to study (had to give it up as I couldn't fit it in around work and kids and health).

Why does everyone forget that working is providing a SERVICE as well as money? If lower paid working mums didn’t get childcare, then kiss goodbye to care workers, nurses, hairdressers, hospital cleaners, teaching assistants… presumably you want those things in life?

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