Is it ok for men to be in the ladies loos if they need to assist a disabled wife?

[someoneelsesshoes]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable to have felt a bit strange about this.

I went to the ladies toilets in a garden centre and there was a man standing by the sinks. I immediately went to walk out as I thought I’ve mistakenly gone into the men’s. He then said sorry and said he was waiting for his wife. He was next to a zimmer frame which I assume was his wife’s.

I felt really strange about this but went into the loo as usual. I understand maybe his wife really needed help to get on/off the loo so dismissed it. She was still in the stall when I left. But when I left the loo I checked the disabled and it was open and ready to use (though maybe it was occupied when she needed it and it was an emergency).

I haven’t come across this before so not sure if we make this concession for male carers. I know disabled people need to be supported and maybe he’s the only one who can help her.

Is that really likely on a thread about a disabled couple?

If they can go to the toilet alone then that is surely what would happen? I'm not sure why you keep saying they 'probably' can go alone.

Men using urinals don't have their pants down.

Not all gents loos have urinals. The men's loos in my office are all cubicles.

You think all autistic children are capable of going to the loo alone? I'd really like you to explain how you think autism works? How you explain to a non verbal child of 10 with little understanding how to go in and safely use a male toilet? Or children with no sense of danger? You think it's not real? You think it's pandering? Can you explain why you think you are right and the parent is wrong?in detail.

Is what likely?

agree with you on the PJ Harvey front

How about she didn't want to? She had agency, and and if I was her and needed help to transfer from Zimmer to toilet and pull her pants down with the door ajar, I wouldn't want to go to the men's toilets either.

According to this thread, every single woman matters, except that one. The one disabled, and presumably desperate. She just doesn't matter.

(And again, the ableism ''he takes her". No, she has a mind if her own, despite needing a Zimmer frame)

Generically*, not genetically!

As to the person above who thought it was "ridiculous" to describe blood as a biohazard - https://www.hse.gov.uk/biosafety/blood-borne-viruses/decontamination/chemical-disinfection-blood.htm

Biological woman here!

But young girls are not really likely to be going to office loos

Why would she be in the men's toilets? With her pants down? With the door wide open? If you mean she'd be with her husband then that means shed be with a man, not on her own so probably safe. Safer than a lone woman or girl with a pervert in the womens toilets. Men shouldn't be in women's spaces . Men rape, molest, expose themselves, masturbate , do all sorts of revolting things to women and girls in women's toilets and spaces. Regularly.I've not heard of women going into men's toilets doing the same. Women don't want to be in men's toilets. Men are a threat that's why there are laws to protect women.

I am a biological woman.

i also have a strong fondness for actual facts and prefer to find out what the law actually is rather than what some people would like it to be.

no police force in the country is going to prosecute a man for assisting his disabled wife in using the toilet. Not going to happen.

No one is suggesting prosecution 🙄

Same here. Old fashioned type of woman but one who prefers to take a pragmatic and facts-based approach to life.

This is exactly what disabled toilets are for though…

Why should the lady have to use the men's loo? She is not a man. She is using the toilet most appropriate for her.
The man with her was in a caring capacity. He was not the one using the toilet, so why would they go in the mens?

👏👏👏👏👏

I’m an old fashioned woman who thinks men have no place in women’s toilets

The suggestion has been made again and again, that she should have used the men's (or rather, that 'he should have taken her there' because as a disabled woman she doesn't get to think she decides for herself, apparently).

And there is not room in the average cubicle to transfer from a Zimmer to the toilet (I mentioned earlier that I have experience of helping a relative do just that) so the door has to be open.

is it likely that biological men would jump on this thread as you seem to be suggesting? That they would jump on this thread to somehow use a situation relating to a disabled ladies need to have her husband/carer with her to somehow say that all men/trans men should be allowed in the ladies. Or…is it more likely that some women disagree with you and feel that a disabled persons need in the moment is more important than the sensibilities of some women.

Yes as it would be exceptional circumstances wouldn't it. Like if the police had to go in. Most women don't hang around the ladies toilets waiting to attack other women though do they.

Absolutely, my point is the wird ableiam in her statement. I'd like to o know what she's on about

I’ve not referenced prosecution in any shape or form, but that’s where your mind has gone….could I get actually in trouble….. 🥴

And you are entitled to your opinion…but that’s all it is.

Sigh, I was just pointing out that in some modern buildings gents loos aren't set up with urinals.

Being a bit dramatic there arent you? Nobody's said she doesn't matter 🙄.