Starting all over again when eldest children are leaving primary. All the school plays again, school runs again etc when freedom is so near!!

[Knightshine]

So my children are leaving primary and a couple of their friends mum's will be doing all the school runs again with a new child just as their eldest will be in secondary and one leaving primary. I have been thinking if I would even want to do it all over again as my own independence/freedom is coming back as my children are getting older iyswim? But then I think or would I want to do it all again...

I don't think I would as my children are doing great and growing wonderfully plus can still have all my time when needed, I won't have to stretch myself. I have noticed that the ones who are doing it all again only have boys and were trying for girl so I think that may have been the reason, I know it was for one because they told me.

Is it the norm to think this way? What are your thoughts....

All three of mine are girls! Kind of relieved in a way - I’m not sure I’d know what to to with a boy!

Yes, this is me. I don't have family around but DH's work is flexible and doesn't work long hours, and I can afford childcare for leisure not just work purposes. I'm still able to have nice holidays, meals out and evening hobbies. I have passive income streams so I'm not making life plans depending on an employer's approval. We live in London where dcs travel independently from age 11 so I'll be free of being a taxi service earlier than those with teens in the sticks.

DD1 graduated from University the year DD2 was born.

It's certainly been interesting.

I have both, you just do the same with both of them unless you’re heavily into gendered stereotypes. There’s basically no difference, mine are currently both sat playing with the donkey stable they made out of a cardboard box yesterday.

I definitely think there’s some kind of hormonal urge to have a final baby at 40ish, I know a few women who had older primary aged kids at that point then gave in and had another. Initially it seemed fine but once the kids reached 6+ and they were menopausal and still having to do soft play/birthday parties/relentless school runs, they felt a bit differently.

My eldest is 20 and my youngest 10 with a 18 & 14 year old in between and no I wouldn’t want to start all over again I’m 39 now don’t think I’d have the energy for anymore.

I was being slightly tongue in cheek. And it’s all academic now anyway, as I’m definitely 3 and done 😂

And no, I’m not into gender stereotypes. My eldest is a trousers and t-shirts kind of girl, avoids dresses where she possibly can, loves green, dinosaurs, space and hot wheels. My youngest loves pink, dresses, unicorns etc etc, but also loves Lego space and science. And yes to cardboard box play too - cars, robots, houses, you name it! Their chromosomes have very little baring on their interests 😉

Oh I’m sorry I thought you were being serious. There are a lot of posts on here about ‘not knowing what to do with boys’ like they’re a whole different species and not just a baby that needs feeding and changing. Oh gosh DD is also going through the hot wheels thing - lots of smashing toy cars around on the floor giving me a headache - sympathies!

My neighbour has 5 girls. They openly state they only carried on having more children because they wanted a boy but it never happened.

I definitely know more people who carried on having more children until they had a boy than vice versa. I do know a lot of sport orientated dads though so I suspect that is a factor.

Like girls can’t do sports!

My ex MIL had 6 boys. She wanted a girl. She was 44 with the last one and couldn’t have anymore after him due to a complication. She’s never let it go and the nasty old bat never stopped showing her resentment.

Of course they can however I’m talking more about professional sport rather than recreational sport.

I’m involved with a number of top level professional sportsmen in a sport where the top men make a fantastic living whereas women in the same sport barely get paid.

There are a huge number of sons who have turned professional and made a very good living following in the footsteps of their fathers. It would be impossible for a girl to do the same hence why I suspect many fathers I know had a preference for boys.

This gives me hope! It's a long way off but my youngest will start primary just as my middle leaves (oldest is 2 years older than middle). I've really struggled with starting again after a big gap between 2 and 3. I thought I would be relishing in doing it all again as dc3 was very wanted, but so far I've largely been mourning my old life - it was certainly easier! But your post has given me hope and reminded me that I did want this!

Your age gaps are very similar to mine. I totally feel I have time for me now and me and my husband have several nights away a year. I obviously make sure my older two are happy to have their youngest sibling but they are always happy to do so.

There were times at the beginning where I was like "I'd be done with the school run if I'd stopped at two" but overall I have really enjoyed it.

My eldest is 11 years older than my youngest. I have four children. I have to admit I feel like I had one too many when it comes to this side of things. I’m so bored with having to do the same steps over again this time around but while showing the same enthusiasm for her as it is her first time doing any of it!

We are just about to embark on the finding a job/ driving lessons/ finishing college part again this year. Her siblings are all adults now.

I have two kids, two years apart. I’m so bored of repeating everything the second time. Some might describe it as having a more ‘relaxed approach’ the second time around. The reality is I CBA!