Starting all over again when eldest children are leaving primary. All the school plays again, school runs again etc when freedom is so near!!

[Knightshine]

So my children are leaving primary and a couple of their friends mum's will be doing all the school runs again with a new child just as their eldest will be in secondary and one leaving primary. I have been thinking if I would even want to do it all over again as my own independence/freedom is coming back as my children are getting older iyswim? But then I think or would I want to do it all again...

I don't think I would as my children are doing great and growing wonderfully plus can still have all my time when needed, I won't have to stretch myself. I have noticed that the ones who are doing it all again only have boys and were trying for girl so I think that may have been the reason, I know it was for one because they told me.

Is it the norm to think this way? What are your thoughts....

I think your time line is perfect. ❤

I’ll be 54 when my youngest leaves primary.

I don’t really have any feelings about it to be honest - should I? Genuinely asking.

I do find the toddler stage tedious and relentless but dc1 is easy enough; I’d feel my life was back if I had only him. As it is I have a two year old in the mix too!

I had dc2 when dc1 had just left secondary school! It's been great, I had dc3 4 years later, and I feel like I've been able to spread out the joy of the baby and toddler years rather than rushing through them blindly. I've never found raising young children difficult or boring.

I'm fortunate to be financially secure enough to not work and be able to pay for evening childcare, so now dc3 is in school ft I have plenty of time in school hours to have time for myself. Probably more time than parents who have finished raising their dcs but are having to spend most of their waking hours at work.

My elder child is about to leave secondary school and my next one will be starting Primary after the summer. It isn't how we planned it, but sometimes it's the way life works out.

I have a 10 year gap oldest to youngest and it is lovely getting to do many bits again and I now understand how quickly it goes so even the less good bits are easier.

My dad was the oldest of 5, his youngest sibling was born when he was. 17.
The very thought makes me shiver with dread!
I'm one and done. This one I love to bits but my goodness I could never have gone through pregnancy, child birth and the early years again !

My best friend had this, she has loved it and thinks it has kept her young

Yes, but those who have finished raising their kids whist juggling work throughout will most probably find life feels more like a holiday now that the constant juggling has stopped.

The 37.5 hours at work, being paid, becomes a walk in the park when you don’t have to come home to parenting, cooking, cleaning, washing, admin, holiday planning etc… Their evenings and weekends are now ‘actually’ free time for themselves.

They also get to enjoy their adult kids too. Plus have more spare money.

My DH is one of 9, 20 years between oldest and youngest.

My mum is one of 11.

I also got speaking to a woman in her 70s recently, whilst in the doctor’s waiting area, who was 1 of 23! She was the 19th!

😬

When my middle left primary, my youngest started. I have really relished this time again, and am feeling emotional at the thought of this stage of my life ending.

Best of all the older two are adults and love looking after their youngest sibling so we still get to go away and have time together. I spend time out with friends etc so feel like I have a great balance of family life and my own life.

Going back to your question, is it the norm? The norm looks different to others, just because you can't relish the thought doesn't mean others don't.

Absolutely no way. I shudder at the thought of doing it all again. It doesn’t take away from the experience first time around, but I wouldn’t want to do it all again.

My children are 23, 12 and 5 🤣🤣

You absolutely couldn’t pay me to do this.

my eldest is 12, youngest is 9 and I’m counting down the days until primary school runs are over!

in hindsight, I wish I’d had my second one sooner than I did.

My mum had my brother when I was in my last year of high school, I spent over 10 years TTC #2 so DC was in his last year of primary when I had my last round of IVF so I would have been starting over had it worked

I have a 10 year gap between mine and have friends with children who are now adults and empty nesters and friends with children the same age as my youngest (17) - lots of friends. It’s all good.

Mine are 13, 7 and 2. I was 25 when I had my first and I felt young as my friends had no kids then. They all started having children when I had DC2 so we all have children of similar ages but I have the teenager. I’ve been doing school run for 9 years with no end in sight. I try not to think about it. I always said I’ll only have 2 children but DC3 was meant to be. He’s such a joy

Mine are currently year 3 and year 5 and I hope this is what our near future looks like!

Also would not go back to the baby stage at this point. There's only 22 months between mine and they've always been close and at similar stages. I want to prioritise and enjoy the moment we're in now (and look to the future), rather than going backwards.

13 years between my eldest and youngest! And a few in between 😅 I had eldest young though so was 35 having youngest - not too old for another if I was so inclined (which I’m not!).
I don’t know if it’s because I’m older and wiser, or because I’m very very practised at mumming by now, but I think I’ve done a better job of each child the more I’ve had. Probably a bit of both - as I’ve got older and more confident in myself, I take the kids’ bad bits far less personally; and as I’ve had each child, I remember over again how fast it goes which has allowed me to enjoy each one more knowing it’s so finite. My youngest two have definitely got the best of me. I don’t want to do it again though - I adore being a toddler mum and the knowledge that in a few years it’ll be over forever hurts my heart, even though my youngest is still a baby. But equally I want there to be a time at some point when I can do something other than raising babies. Im looking forward to having some time again to just be me, and to doing stuff with the older children without toddler wrangling at the same time.

How old were you when you had your children if you don't mind me asking? Just wondering as I had my eldest relatively young at 24 and my second at 25. I am now 44 and they are not planning on moving out any time soon.

I had my first at 16 my second at 18.

I had 5 dc in 8 years. I wouldn't plan a big age gap although I know you can't really decide these things. My younger 2 have significant SN so I'm not going to have the freedom that other parents of dc my youngest's age have.

One of the reasons I had my dcs so close in age was to avoid years of the school run
A friend of mine found out she was pregnant just before her youngest child finished primary school . She was upset because she had been excited at the thought of her freedom

I was late 30s having my first child and I now have two teens (a two year gap between them).

Because I repeated the exact same routine for toddler, montessori and then primary, two years apart, I was very, very glad to finish that chapter as it felt endless. I would not like to start it all over again. My hat goes off to those who had to do it for three or four kids.

That’s a 20 year period, not 25. Still very long though.