Im so tired

[niassfattie]

After a week of broken sleep, working full time and upset over a job.... I've now got a toddler who woke up 2 hours early and he had a late night..

He wakes me up by crying and my nervous system is shot.

I'm walking in the pram to get some distance from him but I'm just not coping. He's 2.5 half and I managed to get in a good shop and he tried to sleep on the way there/home. But wouldn't sleep when home.

I'm honestly going to lose it today and he's really testing me with normal toddler stuff like "mine... No mummy" etc
.

I don't have any support or any friends

We don't get approved for holiday when we feel like it, needs to be book, schedules etc. I've also got a busy work week... That if of course if you don't want court proceedings to take place

No thank you. I need to clean myself, I need to get clothes for work, nursery, clean so we don't get pets. Also need a food shop, pay bills and sort out deliveries.

Let me guess, you have a hubby

why do you disbleibe me, I'm TIRED FROM NIGHTS OF BROKEN SLEEP. I need a break.

It's on one hand you say you sympathise and other I'm apparently doing it all wrong and you have just it all amazing etc.

Apparently now I have to go to the doctor because I'm tired.
Fucking hell.... Come on. Get a grip.

Yes. I work in courts so if I don't go than that's it. Sacked.

Yes it's 2 months min

And you know what, perhaps I'm tired becUee I've been out the house all weeks for months on end.... That sometimes we just need a duvet day ourselves.

Jesus me. We all have different sleep needs and I hope you all get woken up and have no sleep for months on end..

It was not safe for me to leave the house. It is also probably whey I'm so tired because I'm always out. And then I'm home it's bed at 9,pm if I'm lucky and then I can start the house work.

Not quite sure where I say I have it amazing? My three year old doesn’t sleep through and wakes early, as does my five year old. So if you want to compete on who has had less sleep, I’d say I’d win there if you really want to get petty. What I was trying to do - as have others on the thread - is share advice and tips as someone who has and is in the thick of it like you.

I’ve suggested that potentially a doctor trip might be helpful because I think it is very extreme to be so tired that you want to give your child away, and your angry responses to everyone on this thread suggests there may be other issues around. This could be mental health related or you could have a physical issue such as low iron which is making you feel even worse. Again, people on this thread are trying to help.

Not entirely sure why you posted to be honest.

You’re massively missing the point that many of us are saying we have also had broken sleep for months and years on end, that is why we sympathise and are trying to help… to wish that on others is cruel. I wouldn’t wish my current level of sleep deprivation on my worst enemy.

OP you’re not being very nice to people trying to help. You’re on a parenting website, most of us are or have been sleep deprived and overwhelmed from having young children. Most of us have or have had children that wake up in the night and wake for the day too early. I have two young DCs, one is a toddler and wakes up early, the other has been referred for ASD and ADHD and doesn’t go to sleep until late, with frequent meltdowns in the day, I absolutely understand tiredness and overwhelm. We’re trying to help you.

This! I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old, I don’t think anybody wants to play the who’s sleep is the most broken with me😂 it is really fucking hard to continue when you have nothing left. Nobody on this thread is saying you aren’t tired OP, you are, people are trying to give tips because most parents have been where you are at some stage.

If you say to a doctor what you have said on here, yes they’ll be concerned and they will want you to be off work. Extreme tiredness and not coping with it is a medical issue.
If you can’t take holiday and you don’t have someone who can take DS, then going off sick looks like the only option. Or else you will get really sick and your hand will be forced.

What have you done to try to get your LO to sleep better? Has he ever slept through? Is there a pattern to the sleeping? Does he sleep at nursery?

Take a sick day when he’s at nursery.

Do you have a friend who would look after your child for a couple of hours? I know if any of my friends were struggling I’d help as I have been sleep deprived and unable to cope. I think a lot of mums have been there.

Okay op you are the to rest most sleep deprived person ever? People are trying to help you

Its not going to be a quick fix but I would speak to GP about the non sleeping child and push for help.
There is the sleep charity which has a help line some nights every week. In some areas you can access sleep help with a support worker, unfortunately it wasn’t in our area.
There should be a health visitor who specialises in sleep as well. Sometimes the health visitors can get more help for you than the GP.
I’m currently being woken many times a night and my non sleeper is 8. I’ve a constant headache and I feel sick the whole time. I do feel there is the normal small child exhaustion and the I am so tired now I can’t actually function anymore is different. If I get 3 hours of sleep in one block and another couple of hours of broken sleep, I can manage. I don’t feel great but I can drive and I can work and I don’t feel ill. At the moment I’m getting woken constantly and I’ve not had 3 hours in a block for 3 weeks now and it’s really taking its toll.

Where do you live @niassfattie? If you would trust any of us, perhaps some willing posters could come and take over childcaring/house cleaning duties and leave you alone to sleep for a while? (You would obviously have to be happy for that to happen)

You sound absolutely done in. You need someone to step in and help you for a few days.

I’m sorry, it’s so hard with the broken sleep. I think lots on here have already given you good advice I have a child the same age and really struggled with sleep. I’ve thought I was going to die from exhaustion and the toll on my body (not my only child). We dropped the day time nap (hard in itself) but that transformed the nights and early starts. I also started taking vitamin and iron supplements from being completed depleted from bf and feel loads better. Just sharing my experience.

Nope. My ex left 2 years ago and tbh best thing that happened to me. Just me (i have replied further up thread saying no kids), my cat and a few fish tanks. If im feeling overwhelmed i make sure work clothes are washed and animals are sorted, and that I've showered ready for work. thats my bare minimum.

I really do hope you find a solution and youre ok. I know 2months is a long wait but I think i would put some annual leave in ASAP if thats possible

I do think you should go see the doctor because this isn't 'normal' tired and you do seem at your wits end. If they check your bloods you might find you have some deficiencies. Only going off experience, my b12 and iron were low and I felt like my whole personality changed and emotions around grief were just amped up. Since I've sorted I am less tired, agitated, less teary...
Can you get a babysitter in for the night, say on the weekend and just sleep in another room?

Sleep deprivation is literally a torture method.

Your body and mind literally start shutting down when you don’t get enough sleep.

Its awful.

Obviously, do whatever you can to get more sleep by going to sleep as soon as he does.

Do the housework whilst he’s awake, so you can maximise the amount of sleep you get.

I would put him in his own bed but then let him co-sleep once he wakes up if it means him sleeping better.

Your only choices are to go PT or ask SS for some respite care.

I get it. I’m there! I took a route that is a relief Road so little traffic and then back round in a loop for 2 hours, seemed safer than town driving. Apparently it’s all a phase 😆 so it should pass… doesn’t help in the moment but knowing it won’t always be like it does help. I’m in the SE, if you are nearby?

There is a company that offers support and one part of it is having a volunteer helper, but I can’t for the life of me think what it’s called!!

@Butterme Homestart! Great shout, they could be super useful for you OP. Basically you get a volunteer come round for two hours a week so help out. I know two hours isn’t much, but you could either nap or you could cram your housework into that time so then you go to bed earlier other nights. I used them when my youngest was little, had a lovely volunteer and to be honest it was nice just having someone else to have a natter to sometimes.