To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

[Ilostallthepens]

I go to a strength training class a few times a week. It’s almost always all women, class size is about 15. I’m not especially strong or experienced at lifting weights but I notice I’m always lifting the heaviest (sometimes by a long way) than every other person there. I’m also working to my maximum capacity for the 8-12 reps we’re doing. I’m huffing and puffing and sweating doing bicep curls with an 8kg dumbbell in each hand and I look over and the woman next to me is lifting a couple of 2kg dumbbells with no visible effort at all. I see this in a lot of the women there. They don’t seem to push themselves to their limit or even that close to it. I’m talking about women a similar age to myself that have been going to the gym for at least as long as me. I get some people may not want to push themselves to their max effort for whatever reason, eg. an injury, but I’m seeing lots of women seemingly not putting in half the amount of effort that they seem capable of and over a long period of time. So this makes me think the reason must be they don’t believe they are capable of lifting heavier, or they don’t want to lift to their max ability for some reason. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this? Do you not work to max capacity in the gym? If not, why not?

I imagine it’s lack of knowledge and confidence, if it’s a class why isn’t the instructor encouraging them? I recently took up strength training and can now RDL with 12.5 kg weights. Never expected this and always shied away from heavy weights. Very empowering and no you won’t build massive muscles doing this, you’d have to eat a hell of a lot of protein.

Many women believe they will put on too much muscle- sadly this isn't true, gaining visible muscle is hard especially for women. 8kg is also quite light, increase the weight slowly, important because you will otherwise plateau and not improve.
lower body you can do similar weight to men as the musce groups in the lower body are less dissimilar in women and men. l used to belong to a weight lifting gym in East London because it was the cheapest in my area- ml have very well developed calves because l rode a lot when l was younger- l could do more weight on the calf lift machine than the best weightlifter in the gym-it really annoyed them-lol

Thank you

I actually go to a class aimed at getting women lifting which does a very good job of ensuring everyone is lifting within their ability and with good form. It’s small group so it works!

Of course they could go heavier @Ilostallthepens but they can’t be arsed. As you know it’s hard work.

But the benefits are considerable.

If you can pull 80kg for reps, you can probably get to 90 or 100. It’s fantastic being super strong and deadlifts are a great full body way to do it!

If it’s body pump, then no you wouldn’t be lifting that heavy. The most I’ve seen people lifting in that class would be 20-25 kg on their barbell.

How do you get on with the alendronic acid? I've only managed to take 1 and spent the day with awful nausea.

You have no idea what people’s limits actually are though to be able to say ‘they are not working at their limit’

You also don’t know what other exercise they do, their history or anything.

Stay in your lane, don’t judge someone else’s journey you know nothing about.

Fear of judgement from people is often what keeps people out of gyms.

They are going to the class and keeping moving and exercising and that’s fantastic.

100% agree if I do bodypump with fast reps I have to downsize my weights significantly compared with slow reps high weights I might do on gym floor.

I learnt that the hard way when I couldn’t bend my elbows properly for a week 🫢

It can be very hard on the stomach, especially if you already have any stomach issues. I took alendronic acid for three years. Religiously following the full glass of water / staying upright rules. It was ok at first but after I took ibuprofen around the same time my stomach just got worse and worse. I now have annual infusions.

I don’t think you deserved some of these responses for asking the question - i read it as curiosity rather than malice. It’s fair to wonder about patterns you notice, especially when you’re working really hard yourself.

At the same time, i think it’s very difficult to judge effort from the outside. Some people may be managing injuries (as you mentioned) , anxiety, pain, postpartum recovery, form, confidence, or just have different goals for the class. People can show effort very differently too - i look like I'm wrestling demons, and that's just the warm-up lol

I agree that some women underestimate their strength (especially if they’ve been socialised to avoid being “bulky” ) and encouragement can be really powerful, but It's not always that lighter weights mean lack of effort or belief..

Everyone’s body, goals and limits are different. So it could maybe be less "they aren't trying" and perhaps more "they could have a lot that's going on that isn't visible"

Seriously, I think it’s great that you’re pushing yourself and feeling strong!!

WHY won't this myth die?
Toning is not a thing.
It was sold to women decades ago to lure them to gym while ensuring them that they can still remain teeny tiny and suitably fragile and feminine.

"Toned" means you have muscles and low body fat. You build muscles by lifting weights that challenge your muscles, not flapping around with tiny pink dumbbells that offer no resistance.

I’m 68, lift heavy weights and can’t see anyone around me in the gym for the sweat in my eyes. It’s an effective way to help me mind my own business.

Surely there is an in between way from teeny tiny weights to lifting hard and heavy every time. This is the bit I don’t understand, as presumably any weight bearing exercise is better than none for keeping strong in latter years.

Unless someone has been hiding under a rock for the last 10-20 years, they know that heavy lifting is unlikely to turn them into Arnold Schwarznegger, but still - incomprehensibly to some - we don’t do it. My answer is simply I find the gym a bit boring so I am unlikely to keep going with it. Yes I do know that 3 weight lifting sessions per week in the gym is likely to be better for me than 2-3 bodypump sessions and a weekly parkrun, but these are activities that I enjoy so am happy to schedule into my weekly routine. I only go to the gym consistently when I have a personal trainer and it’s just too expensive for me on a regular basis.

But that's exactly what toning is, surely - building and then maintaining just enough muscle mass that it's subtly visible, without it growing too much. Any weight provides more resistance than no weight, so I don't get this argument. It's still worthwhile exercise.

If you are so focused on tracking what multiple women are doing whilst you’re in the gym, over a six month period, I’d wager you’re not pushing yourself hard enough either 🤷🏻‍♀️

You also sound like an utter creep too, stop looking so closely at what women are doing, it’s grim!

How about you mind your own business. No wonder people don’t want to go to the gym when there’s busybodies like you sticking your nose in to other people’s business.

Yeah, I go to a small group weights class, the instructor corrects form, it’s bar bells, squats, arm work etc.

Wow. Up yourself much? Mind your business

This. 💯

It’s hard for women to build muscle. “toning” just means that there’s very little body fat covering whatever muscle is there.

And as we age, we lose a scary amount of muscle if we don’t challenge our body’s capacities.

Muscle grows by being pushed to failure. Then when you rest, the muscle rebuilds itself but stronger and thicker. And more muscle mass burns more calories and allows you to build more.

So that when you’re 80 you can stop yourself from falling, or get yourself up off the floor if you do stumble.

Yeah you're right OP.

Women can always do far more than they are currently doing, the lazy bastards...

Concentrate on yourself. I can deadlift 135kg. Today I did 60 for 5 reps. It was a de-load. Perhaps anyone watching thought I was a lazy slacker. So what. I might do the same if I’m tired, carrying an injury or if I’ve already trained that muscle very recently in a compound move. I’m certainly not watching what you’re doing.

Firstly 8kg really isnt strong so I suggest you get off whatever high horse you are on and focus on yourself istead of other people. I'm stronger than most men in my gym let alone women and quite frankly I don't care, it isnt the flex you think it is. Everyone is at different levels, different strengths and has different things going on in their lives. The main thing is that you turn up, they turned up and they're moving whether they life 2kg or 20kg. You go to the gym to improve yourself, try improving your personality too :-)