To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

[Ilostallthepens]

I go to a strength training class a few times a week. It’s almost always all women, class size is about 15. I’m not especially strong or experienced at lifting weights but I notice I’m always lifting the heaviest (sometimes by a long way) than every other person there. I’m also working to my maximum capacity for the 8-12 reps we’re doing. I’m huffing and puffing and sweating doing bicep curls with an 8kg dumbbell in each hand and I look over and the woman next to me is lifting a couple of 2kg dumbbells with no visible effort at all. I see this in a lot of the women there. They don’t seem to push themselves to their limit or even that close to it. I’m talking about women a similar age to myself that have been going to the gym for at least as long as me. I get some people may not want to push themselves to their max effort for whatever reason, eg. an injury, but I’m seeing lots of women seemingly not putting in half the amount of effort that they seem capable of and over a long period of time. So this makes me think the reason must be they don’t believe they are capable of lifting heavier, or they don’t want to lift to their max ability for some reason. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this? Do you not work to max capacity in the gym? If not, why not?

You're being very OTT. The OP herself has said she wouldn't ever say anything to anyone. And the vast majority of other women she sees are not lifting heavy so she is clearly in the minority. Gyms are generally quite supportive places, a lot has changed in 30 years, maybe go and see if it's different now. The only reason I ever left gyms was creepy men tbh - women were never a problem.

She’s still creeping out on people at the gym. Watching and judging something that is none of her business

And what is worse are the number of people agreeing with her. Like a PP, I would benefit from a gym greatly but I will always be expecting the type of sneering that is prevalent on here.

I hope it makes the OP and those who agree with her feel really good that they are preventing people from getting fit - because everyone has to start somewhere

Well it’s clear from this thread that women are part of the problem.

ETA - Why is it OTT to say you don’t feel comfortable going to the gym because of the number of people who clearly are judging?

So sadly no, I won’t be trying it out. Because I’m overweight and clumsy, I don’t want to give people the opportunity to make me feel even worse

The gym is really boring which is why you have had to resort to watching and thinking about other people's workouts.

It’s due to the belief that low weights high reps tones and heavy weights low reps bulks.
There’s little evidence for this, but it seems to be perpetuated in gyms.

I've been going to the gym for almost 40 years, on and off. I've been the fatty with the 2kg weights and I've been the toned, strong one, lifting it all... I don't care what others are doing, (although I do judge the performative grunters who drop their weights after every lift, but that's a different thing). Surely it's better for people's fitness that they are in the gym moving even a 1kg dumbell than doing nothing at all. (Although, sometimes, that's also the best thing for someone to be doing at that moment). I rarely even look at other people, much less note how much weight they are lifting. However, @Ilostallthepens , if you could let me have the name of your gym, I'll happily make and exception and come round and openly scoff at your 8kg curls and see how you like it. Genuinely, how would you feel? You know you are doing your best with those weights, and you are doing what you want to do whilst you have your time in the gym. How would you feel if I told you that you were a bit pathetic for not curling twice that much? Surely if you can do that many reps at 8kg, why aren't you doing a few less but at 10kg, 12kg..? C'mon now, surely you could be pushing a bit more? What you are doing would be a waste of MY time, and that's what you are judging others on, what YOU consider to be a waste of someone else's time...

Then find something else to entertain you

You could say that about anyonr doing any level of anyyhing. Why don't you push yourself to do the most you can do. Eg cooking, I cook but I don't attempt bigger and better recipes each time I do.
Because for most people they don't want to. They want to enjoy the activity at leisure, not push themselves.
I go to the gym but it's downtime, a space to chill my mind and move my body a bit.
Get a bit of light excercise amd move around after being at my desk and a biy of headspace from dealing with kids, school runs etc. I certainly don't go to build muscle or reach a fitness goal.

That was kind of my point.

So much misinformation on this thread. The “bulldyke” comment earlier on…offensive really. And upsetting.

I have lifted weights as heavy as I can manage consistently for years with a PT. I’ve lost about three stone, improved my posture, gained regular periods and balanced my PCOS hormones and my metabolisms sped up. Nothing “bulky” about me. It’s shrunk my waist significantly and I wear a smaller clothes size now. I feel wonderful.

Lifting a couple more kilos in an exercise class is not going to make a woman accidentally wake up looking like a body builder. It takes years of progressive lifting, strict diet and sleep routines to build substantial levels of muscle as a woman. It just doesn’t happen very easily or quickly. And a lot of women miss out on the benefits that heavy weight lifting brings for fear of looking “like a bulldyke”. Jesus Christ

Perhaps they like doing what they're doing and enjoy it, perhaps they're not confident, perhaps they're rehabbing, perhaps they're there to have fun and enjoy themselves and just don't want to life heavier. Perhaps just focus on your own workout 🙄

Or for fear of being judged

@stargirl27 Team Endure as I like the shorter workouts. I’m on a month trial (thanks to a MNetter).

Please don't let this deter you. My gym (just a normal, cheap chain) is great, there's a whole range of people in there, many nationalities, ages, sexes, morbidly obese to pumped up muscle men, and everybody just gets on with their thing. There's the odd nod in passing if it happens but not much really in the way of interaction. There are judgy people everywhere you go, in the supermarket, the post office, the beach and therefore yes, in the gym. But who cares? I go to the gym for my own well being in my scruffy old leggings and baggy T-shirt and I don't give two hoots if someone, in all the lovely gear, looking beautiful is sneering at me. That says more about them than it does me. So, chin up, don those trainers and go do it for yourself, it may just inspire someone else to think they can do it too!

This. I can bicep curl more than 8kg but I’m not there judging others doing less. Though to be honest OP if you can do 8-12 reps you’re not lifting heavy enough either. My advice would be get out the class and get in the gym. Lift at your own pace not at a class pace….it leads to injuries imho.

What a lovely thing to say - thank you 💐

That has made me well up a little 😬

Everyone could lift heavier, it doesn’t mean they should. Even if the intention is to lift heavier its really important that a decent amount of workouts are lower weights to protect your mobility and joint health.

As someone who is bulking for summer I have decreased my weights in all workouts so I can fully focus on form and muscle definition. Thats what will give larger and more defined muscle growth (along with diet). Once I’m happy and I want to just maintain I’ll likely start increasing weights again.

If someone slim wants to look ‘toned’ lowish weights and high rep is fairly sensible, especially if they don’t have regular 1:1 to maintain good form. People in classes typically don’t recieve correct form feedback, so are likely to injure themselves.

For every person that doesn't care or watch or judge, there is always some other person sneering.

My DD and my boyfriend both ask me to go with them, but I, like this poster, just cannot stand the idea of people like the OP and all the others agreeing with them watching and judging. I know I am fat, I know I don't know what I'm doing. I've seen the social media posts ridiculing larger people in the gym. I also don't want to embarass DD or my boyfriend by being the fat one associated with them.

No thanks.

Well you are judging we all do it. There’s a bloke who goes to mine and has personal training and is such a lazy sod, lying on the floor between sets being dramatic and I think why are you paying. But I recognise that’s a me problem judging him it’s something in me and have a word with myself, I don’t know his situation .

always interesting to look at what irritates us and look inside our self as to why.

I like to work in my technique as I’m hyper mobile. If I went to my max weight I would probably over bend / stretch and cause some damage. My aim is to strengthen my joints and supporting muscles which I have to focus on quite hard not to over extend

8kg for bicep curls is not a flex. Pick some.proper weights up*

It's not very nice to be judged..

Is that why you go there, because it boosts your ego a bit?

Gym life is all about support, not about the weights. The only time you pay attention to someone else is if they're in danger of hurting themselves or they're new and haven't quite grasped what they're doing properly. Seeing someone's confidence grow so they can pick up something heavier is the best.

Exactly this plus this incorrect view has been perpetuated many times on this thread.
I'm shit at sports in general but the one thing I'm consistent with is going to the gym. I like to challenge myself and have the motivation to.
I'm not big and bulky but honestly my legs at 49 are the best they've been. I love thinking I might be motivating to other women when I'm the only one, at times on the benches with free weights amongst half a dozen men.
Younger women seem to lift heavy and dont buy into the bulky bs.

I lift heavy. I couldn’t care what people around me lift - I respect people around me because you never know what their circumstances are. Don’t judge, do better.

I go to the gym for my MH - no other reason