To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

[Ilostallthepens]

I go to a strength training class a few times a week. It’s almost always all women, class size is about 15. I’m not especially strong or experienced at lifting weights but I notice I’m always lifting the heaviest (sometimes by a long way) than every other person there. I’m also working to my maximum capacity for the 8-12 reps we’re doing. I’m huffing and puffing and sweating doing bicep curls with an 8kg dumbbell in each hand and I look over and the woman next to me is lifting a couple of 2kg dumbbells with no visible effort at all. I see this in a lot of the women there. They don’t seem to push themselves to their limit or even that close to it. I’m talking about women a similar age to myself that have been going to the gym for at least as long as me. I get some people may not want to push themselves to their max effort for whatever reason, eg. an injury, but I’m seeing lots of women seemingly not putting in half the amount of effort that they seem capable of and over a long period of time. So this makes me think the reason must be they don’t believe they are capable of lifting heavier, or they don’t want to lift to their max ability for some reason. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this? Do you not work to max capacity in the gym? If not, why not?

To tone muscle, you have to build muscle; tone/build, same thing. Getting bulky, big, and muscular-looking takes specific training and years to achieve, so in a keeping fit and healthy stance, it wouldn't probably happen unless you specifically wanted it to and specifically trained for that.
As with any exercise, there has to be relative effort. Having never exercised, you always start easier. To improve, you challenge and have to feel some discomfort, even to tone muscles, and you can lift heavy without looking like Arnie.
I dont think OP is judging, I think they understand not everyone will train like her. But, I have also met people in general, who aren't seeing the results they wanted but who won't increase intensity in fear of getting bulky through lack of knowledge that toning is building muscle, and the huge bulky thing is very, very specific training, and most will not achieve this with heavier weights and a bit of effort alone. That's all it is.

I have recurring tennis elbow (partly why I can't play tennis as much as I want) but looking at me you wouldn't know. I also have dodgy knees (think I may have arthritis) so don't do as much weight when I do squats. I'm a regular gym goer.

Stop fucking judging.

Seriously, Tom Morrison SMM. Paired up with lifting weights it's been amazing for my hEDS. He's got free stuff to look at.

I feel like I'm on a bouncy castle now when I'm walking.

I probably fall into this category , have no desire to build muscle ,although I’m a serious way off this I’m sure !
At our gym, there’s a woman who does body pump who stands at front of class , every week she puts huge weights on her bar then half way through a track proceeds to drop the bar to the floor and starts taking them off as she can’t lift them! It’s irritating and disturbing to the rest of the class so I’d much rather under estimate what I can lift comfortably !

It’s very hard to bulk out.

There is little point in lifting 2kgs for weeks on end. It’s not going to even tone you if it’s no effort.

To make any difference in strength (not bulk), there needs to be some effort and it needs to be a little hard to lift the weight.

Having said that, movement is powerful and better than nothing.

Op, you keep on going!

Blimey. Pipe down.

The op wasn’t judging. She was curious.

People exercise for all different reasons, when I was injured last year I still ran, but slower than normal. How sad to think people who didn’t know me would think ‘why isn’t she pushing herself’.

You do whatever suits you and your body / exercise plan.
People at the gym might like the social side of it, may be recovering, may just want to lift lighter weights - who knows, but it’s none of your business and you certainly shouldn’t be judging anyone. People who watch and judge others are the reason some people hate gyms .

I don’t believe you about the type of class, ie for experienced people trying to lift heavier. I think you are talking nonsense or need a new class.

I train in a group setting, we are not elite just ordinary men and women, all middle aged. The lightest weights we use are 7.5kg and most of the women are doing bicep curls with AT LEAST 10kg dumbbells, OH pressing 12.5kg dumbbells, deadlifting at least body weight, these are the women who define as less strong. Those who like to push harder are deadlifting 100kg, pressing 20kg etc.

Your mimsy little weights 🤣 are not what experienced lifters would even blink at. To be very clear I would not be judging you or anybody. But any woman who has been training for more than a few months would be aiming for much higher weights than you.

I think you are just being goady, and getting it wrong.

Regarding bulk, just chiming in to add to the chorus to address the misinformation. I’m late 40s and train every day, lift heavy, run and do Pilates and yoga and I’m slim and toned (unless I’m flexing to show off my chunky biceps and delts LOL). I weigh 58kg and deadlift 105kg.

No. Fuck those people who might sneer. They sneer at everyone.

Honestly, for every one of them there are many many more who are thinking, “You bloody go for it!”

I promise you that.

Generally the gym is a positive encouraging place. You should be proud of going regardless of your weight.

If you worried about your dp / friends being embarrassed associating with the fat person (Jesus wept, why are you associating with them if this is the case?), then get them to set you up with a routine of weights then leave you alone to do it every time.

A lot can be achieved in just an hour. I hope you go for it!

This is me - there are a lot of limits on what I can do in regard to lifting despite being taught how to do it properly and having had pelvic floor physio. Things can still get very miserable. And you really wouldn’t know by just being in a gym room with them who those women are.

Nothing about your tone in your OP and your responses suggest you are asking this as good faith question where you genuinely want to know something you don’t already understand.

you think you know the answer, which is that they aren’t doing it properly. And that you are, and therefore you are better than them.

Other than injury (which you seem to think is unlikely), any suggestions as to other reasons why they might be doing this, and that some of these might be valid reasons, (ie they enjoy doing it the way they do it even if it’s less effective) are dismissed by you.

Maybe you are right. Maybe you are the only one in the class that really getting the most out of it as a strength training workout. Maybe they are scared to lift heavier weights and are misinformed . Maybe they don’t understand it as well as you do.

feel better now? You are right and you are the one doing it right and they aren’t.

so what? Maybe they love the class and go home with a sense of achievement. Why isn’t that as valid a reason for being there?

I know nothing about strength training. But I’m pretty sure that going to a class and lifting something, is going to be better for you than not going to a class at all.

And perfectionism is not a healthy trait.

There's a few reasons why people may be lifting lighter than their capability. In most cases, probably because of the belief they'll "get bulky" if they lift heavy. That erroneous belief still exists. Could be rehabbing injury, recovery from illness, or beginners who lack the confidence to try going heavier. People might also wrongly think that soreness after a workout = damage or injury and try to avoid that.

I usually do lift heavy but at the moment I'm really tired because of several months of stress and poor sleep and my body just won't do it, so it's better to still go to the gym and back off the intensity a bit than just sink into the couch. Ultimately, someone else's reasons for not pushing themselves to the max every workout are nobody else's business..

It isn't for another gym goer to challenge it. It's for an instructor or PT to try and understand why someone isn't pushing themselves a bit more if physically capable and support them to go outside their comfort zone.

1. because its at a time that works for them
2. because the location suits them
3. because they enjoy it
4. because they like the teachers

I do not go to the gym with "goals" or to "train". I just go to move my body and feel good.

I used to go to a class like the one you describe. I was lifting probably the lowest weights. I went because it was the only one at my gym that suited my work schedule, and the teacher was a lady I knew who I really liked.

You obvious find "training" fulfilling and enjoy the challenge. Some people get that elsewhere in their life. I play the piano, have a challenging career & 2 young kids. My goals and enjoyment levels from exercise are different from yours. Not everyone gets the often touted endorphin buzz from exercise, I never have. I have always had to force myself to do it. I'm not unfit, ive done 10k runs and half marathons amd represented my university at two sports but it was the game I enjoyed, I don't enjoy strength & cardio training for how it makes my body feel.

I think the original post was badly phrased and op has shown herself to be a bit judgy but this thread has somewhat proved her point that there is still a lot of misunderstanding about weights that is probably holding women back. Lifting heavy won't make you bulky without serious intention and, realistically, taking steroids. Lifting too light won't help tone.

We don't know what those particular women in her class want or need. But some women aren't going to get what they want because of outdated, sexist information.

Each to their own and all that and anyone who is in a gym working out is doing far better at exercising than most of the adult population so good on them. But the reason is that women have been told their whole lives that having a small body is the ultimate aim. They are also working on the (incorrect) belief that lifting heavier weights will make them bulk up so they don’t do that. You’re right OP, a non injured woman who has been doing strength classes for 6 months is unlikely to be doing much to their strength or bone density by bicep curling 2kg. They do it because they fear being “big”, “bulky” or having a “bull dyke” figure (all terms used on this thread). It’s just the same old thin=desirable.

I think some women are weirdly worried about looking ‘big’ or nobody is encouraging them so they think they can’t

Not everyone wants to or needs to train to their max out weights and reps. But, if it’s anything like my gym there’s folk who pride themselves on doing 2 or 3 classes back to back, or even 4 in a day, and to be honest, they’d probably be better doing just one of them with some effort involved!

Exactly this!

I think it’s because personal training or small weights classes are expensive (or not available) and many of is will have had minor injuries from exercise and want to be careful. And fear injury lifting heavier weights without knowing the proper form.

not because of beliefs about leanness, bulk or whatever.

If small classes were cheaper and available think more would give it a go.

Lol. I'm one of those people OP. 🤣 I have just started strength training in my 50s on 1kg 🙈. The reason for this is that I want to build up my tolerance very slowly and learn how to lift weights properly to prevent any injury. Long term back pain is no joke. I have no desire to look ripped or to compete with anyone. This is just to prevent the age related muscle decline we all experience. But I understand your question because I ask myself the same of people in other classes who put in minimal effort. I hope this answers your question.

Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment but unfortunately the sneerers and judgement of people like the OP is louder. The irony is I would really like to go with my DD and/or my boyfriend, they are not judging me.

I have low self esteem as it is, I don't wear dresses ever or even shorts in summer. Last thing I need is that one comment or look in the gym. I exercise at home alone which is probably nowhere near as targeted or effective as I need to lose the couple of stone I'd like to get back to the size 12 I used to be.

I'm super strong ex instructor in my 60s. 50 years of weight training behind me still go heavy and technique is far far far more important than weight. I do weights based classes and see women going heavy with shocking technique and women going medium light with amazing technique. Technique gives results not weight

Unintended consequence of this thread...

OP - this thread has made me get out of bed, go to the gym and give myself a challenge by moving up to the next weight of dumbbells (which is certainly not 4kg).

YANBU - and I suspect you have touched a raw nerve in some posters.
I'm sure many of us (including me) could do with a nudge out of our fitness comfort zones.

Controversial (apparently !) but I agree. I mean, yes it's up to them at the end of the day, but if people think they'll get results from this, ,they'll be disappointed. You need to challenge your muscles and lifting weights should be HARD. I also used to think 'toning' was a thing (there's actually no such thing, you're either building muscle or you're not - the 'toned' look comes from low fat and visible muscle) and it's a shame that so many women still think that lifting heavy weights will create bulk. If only it was that easy! I've been lifting for 3 years and have very little visible muscle 😭

It's like going for a run to develop cardio fitness, and then strolling at a snail's pace all the way round. Fine if that's what you want for its own sake, but it won't get the results you want. There clearly needs to be a huge amount of education for women in the gym and in the fitness world. We've been sold a lie sadly. However, yes some women go for the social aspect and that's fine too.

I can't see an issue with OP's question on an anonymous forum.

We all people watch. Everywhere. Not just at the gym.

Just don't be THAT person who thinks they can dump their unwanted opinions onto others.