To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

[Ilostallthepens]

I go to a strength training class a few times a week. It’s almost always all women, class size is about 15. I’m not especially strong or experienced at lifting weights but I notice I’m always lifting the heaviest (sometimes by a long way) than every other person there. I’m also working to my maximum capacity for the 8-12 reps we’re doing. I’m huffing and puffing and sweating doing bicep curls with an 8kg dumbbell in each hand and I look over and the woman next to me is lifting a couple of 2kg dumbbells with no visible effort at all. I see this in a lot of the women there. They don’t seem to push themselves to their limit or even that close to it. I’m talking about women a similar age to myself that have been going to the gym for at least as long as me. I get some people may not want to push themselves to their max effort for whatever reason, eg. an injury, but I’m seeing lots of women seemingly not putting in half the amount of effort that they seem capable of and over a long period of time. So this makes me think the reason must be they don’t believe they are capable of lifting heavier, or they don’t want to lift to their max ability for some reason. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this? Do you not work to max capacity in the gym? If not, why not?

I agree - quite a few gym users have health issues or prior injuries.

Some might have had heart attacks and be on cardiac rehab, some might have had shoulder operations- you don’t know.

How patronising. Most people known that. But the right response is to say ‘it doesn’t affect you so why care’.

Like a PP said, posts like this are a reason I wouldn’t join a gym (even though I’m overweight and unfit) because of the level of judgement from other women. I haven’t stepped into a gym or leisure centre for 30 odd years because of this. I used to like going in the swimming pool. But there is always someone sneering.

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta that’s really annoyed me on your behalf. Plenty of us pay zero attention to what others are doing and don’t judge.

If most people know it, why lift a 2 kg weight that does precisely __nothing?

I don't agree it's patronising to just say what's true. I would never sneer at someone for doing useless workouts, I just think it's a shame for them, that's all.

You were taught wrong, low weights and high reps does sweet FA. But you’re clearly happy being thick because you use “bull dyke” as an insult. Stupid and homophobic go together like peas and carrots, or low weights and high reps.

I have young kids who I have to look after the rest of the day after the gym. So I probably only push myself to 70% because I have to conserve energy for the hours ahead. Probably not the most beneficial use of gym time, I know.

OP, they maybe enjoy the social life or they’re just starting out. With luck, they might decide to have a personal training session or watch some YouTubers. You and I probably know that weights are great for bone strength and a lot of other things but if other people don’t know or it’s not important to them that’s ok too. Everyone finds their own path.

Because they want to. It’s no more complex than that. You are sneering at people because you think they are ill informed (‘it’s a shame for them’). Maybe they don’t want to be ‘huffing and puffing’.

If you or the OP really want to know what’s behind it, just ask people instead of being mean spirited about it.

I have a shoulder injury which apparently would benefit from going to the gym. However you wouldn’t have to judge me because I wouldn’t dare set foot in a gym.

Also why would you notice - if you are pushing yourself as hard as you can, how do you notice what others are doing

i use the ladder app & had to drop to 2kg weights for some of the exercises I did yesterday. I can bicep curl 8kg though.

I work to the limit of good form in various rep ranges but I don't really huff and puff or look visibly sweaty or like I am struggling with the weights. I breathe steadily, have good cardio fitness from running, maintain good form and I've been a light sweater since peri. I was progressing my weights nicely until I got frozen shoulder (which often lasts for over a year) and I am now coming back very carefully using light weights for anything involving my arms. So you'd probably judge me like crazy.

I think there is a valid point that for years women have been encouraged to use little pink weights and many women still worry unnecessarily about getting bulky. But unless you're their PT or class leader it's none of your business.

i use ladder!! what team are you on?

OP and those agreeing with her have a massive superiority complex and care way too much about what other people are doing.

Yeah sure, many women have a shoulder injury. Many women who use those 2kg weights don't. The issue is a broader patriarchal drive to keep women weak and to sell them useless crap that does nothing in the process. It's not about you personally.

Feminist analysis requires looking at things that women do that are counterproductive to their interests, and if we're not allowed to do that because some women interpret it as "sneering" and think it's about judging them personally rather than looking at broader trends and why they happen, then feminism is functionally dead in the water.

Maybe they could. Maybe they don’t want to. It’s definitely no one else’s business, including yours.

Two things can be true at once. I totally agree with what you are saying about misinformation surrounding women’s fitness. However this OP in particular does appear to be ‘sneering’ at other women both in the op and her subsequent replies, even snidely commenting on the diet of a woman she knows nothing about. She was blatantly criticising women and looking down on them for exercising in a way that she perceives to be useless. I cannot see any ‘feminist analysis’ in the op/her replies.

How rude are you.

im disabled. I take various drugs that have weight gain as a side effect (amongst others). I’m also suffering from depression and anxiety and with adhd and autism my executive function is poor.

im fed up with people on here judging other people and posting not so thinly veiled threads where they want validation for being perfect.

some people aren’t doing the same as you would do. End of. And none of your business. The fact that someone like you might be checking out what I’m doing at the gym and taking notice of what I’m doing is one of the things that stops me going to the gym.

As someone who lifts, I’ve got to say we really shouldn’t be paying this much attention to what others do in gyms/classes.

The only time we should be wondering if we can help is if they are doing something dangerous that could injure themselves, otherwise “let them” works well. It’s their life, their goals. If they believe 2kg is doing what they need or want, and they haven’t asked for advice or help, just let them. They have access to the same wealth of information that means they can find out about progressive overload, lifting heavy vs lifting light etc.

The only times I’ve stepped in have been when someone was either new and needed help with a piece of equipment or was doing something dangerous like locking their legs out on the leg press. Otherwise mind your business and focus on your workout, women are judged enough and this thread is further proof of that, not just by the OP but by some of the replies.

How do you know they don’t do more difficult workouts on other days and use the class as their more relaxed day? I weightlift 5x a week, run 2x, dance 1x and am generally v active. I usually do a reformer class once a week too, which is my more relaxed day. I know there are others using heavier springs than me because we have different goals in that class.

How the fuck do you know what results I’m looking for?? You sound very judgmental. Equally you have absolutely no idea what health conditions I have that would make it very dangerous for me to lift heavier weights. How about you judge yourself and let other people work at the level they want.

And yet, by showing that attitude, it has the same effect - women are reluctant to avail themselves of the facilities to get fitter or stronger because of the attitude of their own sex.

Who needs the patriarchy when we have ‘feminists’ (which I would normally consider myself to be) commenting like that?

If the question is genuine then I can’t see why the Op can’t ask the people themselves. Presumably she realises it comes across as snarky.

Exactly, but apparently this is in the name of feminism 🥱

She has said herself she knows it is offensive so wouldn’t ask someone in real life.

Seriously though, do you think making people avoid the gym due to attitudes like yours is a positive thing? I’m sure more of us would take the opportunity to be fitter and healthier but for lack of confidence

If it’s genuine curiosity then ask them.

Not everyone wants to build huge bulky muscles? Some people would prefer to tone in a way that gives a leaner muscled look, by doing more repetition of lower weights.
Not everyone is like you.... You sound so pushy and demanding about what other women are doing in the gym!!