To not want to pay above a full tank of petrol for a lift to the airport?

[alexandrasm]

I fly from my “local” (2 hours away!) airport at the end of summer. My flight is in the early evening and I have an appointment in the morning.

My brother offered to give me a lift, it won’t affect his work as he’s on 0 hours and can just request a late start/no hours on that day (he usually doesn’t work on a Friday anyway).

I said yes please, and said I’d be happy to cover a tank of fuel as it would probably use about that to get there and back, and have some left over. (So I’m thinking about £40, he has a hybrid so it doesn’t use a ton of fuel).

He’s now said £40 plus £75 on top for “his time”

AIBU to think sod it, I’d rather just pay a taxi (about £100 according to local Facebook groups) because he’s being a CF?!

No she’s suggesting brothers don’t charge their siblings for favours. Fgs it’s not a job it’s his sister!

It's bizarre that people think payment should be standard in these situations.

When my daughter moved out, my brother used his van, his fuel and his whole day to help. Did he ask her for £350 like the removal company quoted? No, he did it for a pack of beer.

I'm having his kids overnight for his birthday soon and I won't be asking for the going rate for a nanny for my trouble.

But, OP, he definitely did not offer to take you, he agreed to when you asked 😂

Wow. I wouldn't ask that man of anything. He sounds really miserable to be around.

He’s honestly hilarious. I often wonder how we’re related because I’m so easygoing with my money 😂

Nah he can be a right laugh, he’s just really really tight!

Well hey now. This put a whole new perspective on my family. We wouldn’t DREAM of asking for payment for doing this. Not even for the petrol (though one would certainly offer to pay for petrol). Don’t families do things for each other out of love? It’s not a matter of convenience or whatever, you do it because this person has asked
and presumably if they asked you for a favour you’d do it. I’m just thinking of a recent visit to stay with my adult siblings who share a house. I didn’t rent a car and one sister did all the driving. Sure I gave her money for the car but she wasn’t charging me for her time! The other sister took my daughter to a certain shop twice - and she spent two hours there each time. My sister is a busy doctor but was happy to spend some time one on one with her niece. I can’t believe how mercenary everyone is on here.

How sad that a sibling can be so transactional and mean. Wait until he asks a favour then explain how he’s made you feel

If you pay for his time he won't be insured?

To be fair proving that would be a bit like finding a needle in a haystack - say i did send him £115 I could easily just say it’s petrol plus food? Or i owed him some other money and sent it all in one, I don’t think that’s something we’d be bothered by 😂

Stansted might be in the middle of nowhere but it’s incredibly well connected. You have coaches into central London departing every few minutes, there’s a direct train to Liverpool St (or Cambridge if you really fancy going there 🤣), and I’m sure National Express and the other companies run some routes west / south. Can’t comment on those as I take the ones east (Norfolk / Suffolk / Essex), but they’re always reliable and cheap.

If none of those work time-wise, I’m sure a cheap hotel and travel home morning after would be just fine, like you said.

This is such a depressing thread. I’d happily give up 4 hours of my time to help my siblings, if I had the time to give. I can’t fathom charging my siblings for my time.

Wouldn't be too sure on that. I think someone on this thread would probably snitch on you 😂

That is definitely not an offer.

And offer is when you offer without being asked.

He would have been cheeky to charge if he offered (ie his idea) or if you have regularly driven him long distances. But you asked and he has given his price so it is a simple yes please or no thank you. (I would still prefer to chat to my brother than a taxi driver for 2 hours).

Driving 2 hours there and back sounds awful.

There is a difference between agreeing to and offering. Yes, you asked, he said yes, and than added "yes, if ..." he has never offered to do it for free, he said it would be possible to do the run and now adjusts the conditions.

Tbh, you sound rather tight here. Blabbing about a potential cheap taxi when there is no guarantee someone has the pick up already scheduled on your day. Get the actual quote for your day and see?

I think I know who 🤣 just imagining that call to the police “hello 999, someone is driving from Cornwall to Bristol airport at some point in the next five months and I think they’re making a profit” 🤣

I personally would not ask a sibling for money to do them a favour. I wouldn't even ask for petrol money let alone money for my time HOWEVER I actually wouldn't expect them to do a 4-hour round trip for me if I could drive myself or get a taxi or public transport and if my sibling asked this I'd think it was a big ask so actually I think YABU.

You're happy to inconvenience him massively just so you don't have to spend any money on your own travel.

It really depends on what time I land back, I’m hopeful because it’s Ryanair and they tend to not be delayed. But I also like to have breathing room, especially as I’m travelling with checked bags!

I’m happy to ask, yes. If he agrees, fine, we all win. If he says no, I’ll find another way to get there. Isn’t that the entire point of asking for a favour?

You're the tight one. You don't want to pay for your own travel.

You say the airline has massively changed your flight time.

Did he agree to take you before the massive change in flight time? And what’s it changed to? Crack of dawn?

@alexandrasm
In my family if we always do this sort of thing for each other, no questions asked, no money mentioned.
In my culture I cannot imagine anything more embarrassing than to ask for money for your time. Money to help a sibling would be seen as an embarrassment.

Yes but you don't like that he isn't happy to give up 4+ hours of his day for you. I think you're cheeky.

It’s her brother though… I presume she does nice things for him too? I’d feel awkward charging a family member for my time for a one off favour… would rather not do it if it’s so difficult…

Where have I expressed that I don’t like it? I’ve said multiple times I’m looking at other options.

That’s the flight home, do try to keep up dear