AIBU to wonder if a stay-at-home mum could become an MP?

[Questionsssss]

Do you think a degree educated, middle class 30 year old SAHM without any notable work history would ever have a chance at becoming a local councillor or MP? I feel like most MPs have either a local council or highly skilled professional background (law, finance etc). I’ve googled and I can’t find a single MP who has a SAHM background.

She might be.

If her husband’s income is above the threshold at which CB ceases to be paid (likely if he is supporting a household alone), she would need to actively claim it, and then he would need to repay it to HMRC in order for her NI years to be attributed to her.

I have seen many cases reported here where women say that they can’t claim it because he refuses to deal with the paperwork for the repayment.

She would have to cede control of her own NI payments to another person.

Why wouldn’t a woman want to be in charge of her own finances in regard to something so important?

If two people are earning £60k, they've also got possibly two lots of commuting costs, and childcare to fund. Some will be a lot worse off than the family with a £120k earner and a SAHP. There is some unfairness in the tax system, but it's probably not enough of an issue to get a person elected.

You say if you got divorced, you'd continue to be a SAHP with the help of your exH. What about the families where the ex partner doesn't contribute financially? You need the system to have a backstop to reduce the impact of child poverty.

A "stay-at-home-mum" parent?

I think you need to learn the very basic lingo before you get any grand ideas.

But is it true claiming child benefit helps your pension so you aren’t impoverished in your old age?

I’d have to think about things a bit more - I admit I don’t have all of the answers and would like to discuss it with people who do have more experience in policies like this.

I’m not proposing a return to the 1950s, but I do think there are some benefits to traditional family values like marriage and caring for children at home. Of course women should be free to do whatever they want and if they want to have high achieving careers then that’s great. But equally I think we’ve lost our way a bit and don’t prioritise family in the way that we used to and I think it’s had a negative effect on society.

OP - to a degree your post has been derailed into a political debate .

If you are passionate about this then by all means go for it . Be aware though that you potentially put both yourself and your family at risk . By way of example we live not far from a former politician , see them regularly always accompanied by protection officers . Think too perhaps how Keir Starmer teenagers must currently feel when most of the country thinks dad is an absolute bollard .

Have read of the relationships boards and then work out if an EX who has found himself a younger model would really be that willing to fund your lifestyle.

I don't have children so this is entirely hypothetical.

Are you suggesting that my husband should get a tax break to the tune of £5k a month to compensate for my salary loss were I to be a stay at home mother? How would you suggest the quarter of a million or so people employed in childcare would be redeployed?

How old are your children?

And again, what have you done to benefit your community?

This is definitely one of my main thoughts. Especially standing for Reform.

things like PIP, carers allowance are given out too freely at the moment

concluded random SAHM🙄

ffs, do one

I'm afraid you are in a bad political spot.

In my EU country in the last election there was a huge voters demand for women and under 45 candidates, one party got 12 out of 13 regional leaders jumped over by a younger women on preferential votes (we vote for multiple chairs per regions, each party presents a list of candidates and you vote for a party plus can upvote someone on their list). However, this happened specifically at left/progressive/center parties.
The closest equivalent of Reform we have is a sausage club and their voters hate foreigners, well fare and women on a similar level.

With respect, someone who thinks that in the event of a break-up, they would 'try to continue being a SAHP with the help of my (ex) husband. And then eventually start working more and more hours as the children grew older', probably doesn't have the empathy, life experience, understanding or dare I say intelligence to be an MP - or at least the type of MP I'd vote for. And you want to stand for Reform - well, I'm out then.

I feel like your credibility and chances of election could be greatly enhanced by spending a year volunteering a couple of days a week for women's aid? People would then feel like you actually know what you're talking about when it comes to the impact of your policy proposals on women and children who aren't in your specific and very niche position.

Please try this and come back to us in 12 months. I would love to hear your reflections.

Not for 35 years, they don’t.

This is a great idea. Thank you.

But OP you are the one who will be CHOOSING to work.

How are you going to stand in front of people and claim that children are better off at home with their parents, when you are choosing to work - isn’t that contradictory?

And what about single parents?
2 parent families are already more privileged but you are making that divide even bigger.

Are you suggesting that single parents should be able to claim benefits worth the same amount as working FT?
And until what age?

It would be shocking to claim children are better off staying at home for the first X amount of years but then not allowing children from single parents the same experiences.

So you're proposing that people should live less happy, less fulfilling lives because you dream of some weird Handsmaid Tale type world where women only seem to exist to have babies and look after the men?

basic lingo and many other things

I’m not saying it’s a perfect policy, but I do think there are plenty of benefits to the country by having more SAHP
You know statements are better believed when they are backed up by research? Have you even done any basic research or does you research consists of discussion with other mummies at the health club (with children left in the care of 'strangers' during their numerous weekly activities)!

Can you imagine if all the female nurses, teachers, GPs who would prefer to be sahm for many years left the profession...oh wait, who cares, the rich will just pay for private care and education so it won't affect them....

Your family benefits from not having to pay for childcare - which in the short-term outweighs the difference in taxes at that level by a long way. Try being an only parent who has to pay the bills and pay for childcare.

I don't think you are being unreasonable by wanting to become a councillor, in time potentially an MP, starting with volunteering to get some relevant experience in the sector to help. SAHM absolutely can have a lot to offer. And it is absolutely not appropriate or the right thing for the current incumbents to be of the same demographic, men of a similar age. That doesn't help with diversity of thought and understanding different situations. Being a Councillor and trying to give back and improve your local community is a great thing to do.

I don't agree with a lot of your political views, but that's not the point. I am seeing contradictions between your potential career intentions and your viewpoints.

Being a Councillor or MP is a big job. Not a part time gig. You could do it, but would need childcare. You said you are 30, and you worked for 5 years before having kids, so assuming your children are still young. But you don't think it is in their best interests to be in full time childcare and not with a SAHP?

But hand on heart, can you honestly say that toddlers and children are better in full time childcare so that both parents can work? Or teens in the house alone/doing whatever they want a lot as both parents are working?

How are you hoping to achieve this when in a high pressure, long hour position? You wouldn't be at home for your teens as you have stated above you believe is better for them.

I work, currently 4 days, soon to go up to 5, with 2 kids. I absolutely believe that working, if the parent wants to or has to for their families and own financial security is a perfectly acceptable option. My kids have had great times in childcare, making friends, learning in a purpose built environment. And having fun at home too. It is better for me and my mental health to work, and I have flexibility as am self employed. I personally wouldn't want to be a SAHP full time, although I am sometimes envious of those who are fulfilled by parenting full time as they are happy and have less to juggle than a business, household and kids (I know its still stressful and very busy).

However you don't have the same views as me, but are considering a career that would mean you have to live against your values? Is that really what you want?

ooh kinder, kirche, kuche. Marvellous.

How would you meet local businesses and industry. Just for a start ?

I think some of your idealism is very positive @Questionsssss and I share some of your values but it really doesn’t seem to have a grounding in the reality and complexity and messiness of real life that people are actually living.

I think that would be your undoing going into politics to be honest.

You sound very genuine but when you are confronted with other people realities than you don’t seem to fully appreciate, unless you begin to dismiss them out of hand which people who lack empathy tend to do, or genuinely confront that you have been incredibly naïve and need to think up much more diverse solutions than you currently have, you will be very exposed.

This is reminiscent of a leaflet I received for the “Family Values” party (whoever the fuck they are).

Number one manifesto commitment appeared to be to ban abortion in all circumstances (from what I could tell in the 0.5 seconds between me picking it up and it going into the recycling bin).