AIBU to wonder if a stay-at-home mum could become an MP?

[Questionsssss]

Do you think a degree educated, middle class 30 year old SAHM without any notable work history would ever have a chance at becoming a local councillor or MP? I feel like most MPs have either a local council or highly skilled professional background (law, finance etc). I’ve googled and I can’t find a single MP who has a SAHM background.

Still... a rock could probably get in as a Reform councillor given their vetting procedures, so you'll probably do fine

Do you not see how damning this statement is of the party you support?

Yes of course.

Sorry I hope you are being sarcastic or that is a very outdated view.

So boots on the ground actual experience of running a home, struggling with parenthood, trying to get GP/Dental appts, the state education system, minimal benefits/income aren't real world problems that the mass majority of families go through, that they may want to see a councillor who has practical experience of???

As potentially opposed to those you allude to as privately educated person, with a nanny, who has no concept of working/middle class issues, do they understand your issues?

The answer is we need a representative from all walks of life and being a SAHM has many valuable experiences that will resonant with many people.

There is just work to be done to get her there but if she is genuine, go for it.

Is it incorrect that a sahm receiving child benefit is having her national insurance paid?

Exactly. I was going to bite but I thought it was becoming all too obvious where the OP was going.

So how would you square working as a councillor or an MP given you have children? Surely you’re better off at home with them?

I don’t want to personalise this to you @Questionsssss but I would like to know what would happen if another woman in your exact current scenario’s relationship broke down and divorced which of course is extremely common.

How then would the scenario you have idealised work out?

What next in your political philosophy?

I ask because reality tends to be a lot messier than idealised perspectives which rarely pan out.

A SAHP does have their national insurance contributions paid so that they aren’t disadvantaged for their state pension.

I’m not saying it’s a perfect policy, but I do think there are plenty of benefits to the country by having more SAHP.

Would that apply gender reverse as well? I'm a high earning mother with a low earning partner and we have young children. Also currently the current rules disadvantage high earning single parents (as I was before). Your rhetoric is as if all mothers have a choice about going back to work but that's not the case if they are the household breadwinner.

I'd worry a SAHM would be out of touch with the reality of working people. But then all these old white men have even less in common with me and my daily issues.

You've never had to claim DLA, have you?

Could you name some? And add a financial value to those benefits given the huge loss in tax revenue your policy would generate?

I can say "hand on heart" that:

• not all children are better off at home with a parent
• not all children with two FT WOH parents need full time childcare
• there was absolutely no detriment to my daughter at all from having two FT WOH parents when she was growing up
• the extensive research on this subject does not back up your claim that SAHPs are particularly beneficial for children or for our wider society
• as the parent of a young woman, I want to see her thriving and fulfilling her potential, not pushed back into the kitchen like my poor mother, who never got over her regret at the perception that she had "wasted" her talents by being a SAHP.

If you’re a SAHP and have no income, you don’t pay tax? I’m guessing you’re suggesting that the working parent would get a tax break/cut of some sort? Let’s say a person earning £35k won’t pay any PAYE on their salary (20%, minus the tax free band, back of a fag packet would equate to £375 a month) it’s not that much. You’d also need to determine what a ‘family’ is, marriage, and what happens if the person getting a tax cut doesn’t spend that money on their family, would the tax cut be related to how many children the family has, at what age would it stop. Lastly what are the societal benefits to a parent staying at home? My children had a SAHP with them for the first few years.

By all means go into politics and it would be refreshing to hear different perspectives. Personally I’d like to see fewer politicians, better paid and come with a wide variety of experience from business, banking, policing, retail, engineering, manufacturing, health, arts etc I’m so done with lawyers and politics grads …

This is a more significant issue - how can people with young families effectively balance family life with being an MP? Does the challenges of doing so exclude them (and especially mothers) and their voices from political life?

I think that people divorce too easily these days. I think marriage should be a life long commitment and only ended in extreme circumstances where children are involved (infidelity, abuse etc). Now I don’t know the answer to your question, but those are my personal thoughts on it.

Me personally, I would try to continue being a SAHP with the help of my (ex) husband. And then eventually start working more and more hours as the children grew older.

Everyone from every walk of life has every right to stand as an MP. Whilst you may not have current experience of employment or commuting or struggles with bringing in two incomes and still not making ends meet, you will have experience and insight and opinions on education, public services, healthcare, women’s issues, childcare etc. If I liked your policies or character, you being a SAHM would not put me off (but having said that I don’t like your policies or what you’re standing for from reading your updates in this thread so would not vote for you I am afraid).

Of course it would be both ways.

It’s incredibly unfair at the moment that a household with two people earning £60k each takes home a lot more money than one person earning £120k and one person a SAHP.

You sound perfect then. Go for it.

Valid point and that is the issue, just because we don't have a SAHM as a councillor, doesn't mean we shouldn't but is the system stacked against her to make it impossible. Or are they just two contradictory lifestyle choices? Good discussion point!

Platform seems to be…give more money to people like me by taking it away from everyone else.

Of course you could.

career history is not how to get elected

you have to join a political party
become politically actively active
get selected in a seat that is winnable
raise money and campaign relentlessly for a couple of years

and the above is an incredibly simplified description of many years of networking and campaigning

written from my experience as a politicians spouse

Well you lost my vote. Tax cuts for parents - but it feels like the people who need it are the ones who are either single parents or both have to work.

Do Reform councillors bother with any of that though?

@Questionsssss what would your policy be for single parent families. What about women who have escaped an abusive relationship?
Do you realise that married women who don't pay tax can already transfer their tax allowance to their husband?
If you are talking about a bigger tax break how would you pay for it?
You mention taking away benefits to people how are their children going to be supported? If you are concerned about children.
Do you realise that most people on benefits are already in work it's just that the work is lower paid?
Are you proposing that we return to the 1950s where women's role is in the home and they can't have a career and a family? If so you need to be honest about it?
You say you want to stand as a Reform MP have you read their manifesto?
Do you currently do any work in your community to make life better for them ?
If you feel very strongly about your policy you need to advocate for it now, and actually have a fully costed realistic worked out policy that includes all the pitfalls and unintended consequences not just what you see as the positives
Also local councillors have no responsibility for tax other than council tax and business rates. If you become a councillor you will be concerned with local issues, including refuse collection, potholes, care homes closing down, local buses, SEN provisión, etc you will have no influence on the national tax system.

A d actually setting an example to little girls that they too need to work hard at school so they can get jobs and contribute to society, rather than them knowing that their life goal can ultimately be find a rich enough man to bankroll you through life.