AIBU to wonder if a stay-at-home mum could become an MP?

[Questionsssss]

Do you think a degree educated, middle class 30 year old SAHM without any notable work history would ever have a chance at becoming a local councillor or MP? I feel like most MPs have either a local council or highly skilled professional background (law, finance etc). I’ve googled and I can’t find a single MP who has a SAHM background.

Speak for yourself with regard to not prioritising family. If you feel that you aren't prioritising yours sufficiently, then by all means, make changes.

For me, family has always been my priority. That hasn't stopped me from having a successful career though. It isn't a binary choice.

call me suspicious but I suspect OP has idle fantasies of elected office rather than serious political ambition.

Your platform is traditional family values, and that people divorce too easily, but you're divorced, so a single SAHP?

So, your actual life is in complete opposition to your platform? Sounds like you'd be a perfect Reform candidate.

😂I know emojis are lazy but this is so ridiculously naive. So many women on here can't even get their runaway partners or husbands to pay basic CMS.

I don't think being SAHP means you can't become a councillor or MP but you'll need to show a lot of connections and involvement in your local community, that's the most important thing. Be aware that the role will take up a lot of your time, time away from SAHM-ing.

Not the question you asked but I don't like your politics and wouldn't vote for you on that basis alone. I'm a woman/wife/mother who is proud to work and I love my job. Tax schemes that make it easier for one parent (let's face it, mostly the mother) to stay at home will lead not only to women doing it from choice but out of pressure "because it makes more economic sense" in the moment and then they are trapped. It will lower the glass ceiling many of us have fought for years to raise, not just for our own benefit but for our collective daughters and granddaughters, enabling them to climb out of the "secondary support human to big important men" box.

I’m not divorced?

I know. OP is beyond deluded.

Anyway, I'm busy writing to the BBC to claim the position of General-Director - I have a vague idea for some changes in the organisation.

But most people haven’t only been a stay at home mum, they will have done something before then. Unless they had children very young and are still very young someone who has only been a stay at home mum probably doesn’t have the motivation required to be an mp or to want to be.

Yes. But even then, it won’t give you the full 35 years you need - only those for the years your children are eligible.

What about that? Or my other points? Is this intended as some sort of gotcha’? If so, what is the point you want to make?

Her family does pay for childcare - there is an opportunity cost in not going to work - the SAHP forgoes an income in order to care for their own children. Arguably the cost of childcare is far higher when it is provided by SAHP than it is when it is provided by a nursery as not only is there the lost income now, there is also the lost increments on future income.

I have to say OP, I don’t agree with everything you’re saying and I think you’re looking at the world from a very privileged position but I am very impressed with your responses (especially those that claim to not have all of the answers).

I think you need some more real life experience, especially from positions less privileged than you.
Currently you seem only interested in SAHMs with partners who are very high earners - which is no where close to what the country is like.
You have not thought enough about those who are already struggling the most - low income workers, single parents, those with disabilities etc.

However, I think if you got more experience of these things, then these will help shape your views and make you a stronger candidate and you can use what you’ve learnt, as well as your own experiences, to help you succeed.

Yes, you can, but you’re going to have to join a political party and do the legwork into getting selected for the right constituency. In the big main traditional parties that usually involves years of being active, attending meetings, knocking on doors, networking, and yes, running for a council seat. You might stand a better chance with one of the smaller or newer parties - Reform, for example, or the Greens. Seeing the state of some of the candidates they put up, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of competition if you’re committed and competent.

I'm a single parent. Do I get funded to stay at home and be able to pay the mortgage? Or does it only work for two parent families?

@Questionsssss If you think it would be so beneficial to society to support SAHPs, why do you want to go back out and work in one of the time-consuming, family unfriendly, stressful and exposed jobs going? That's even without adding Reform into the mix.

Is your husband going to jack in his high-pay job to become a SAHD if you manage to get elected?

To be honest you probably have a good chance of becoming a Reform candidate, you have the correct views for them and they will be needing a lot of randoms to contest the next election.
Ideally though, I would like all MPs to be really hardworking and committed but again we are talking about Reform so you might well get away with doing less and still getting selected.
Of course you need to join the “Party” first, do plenty of volunteering from now on and hope that your constituency is struggling to find a middle aged white man.

There are huge numbers of single parents who are funded by the state to stay at home.

If its a net benefit then quantify it. Provide the data. How many children are suffering developmentally, physically, emotionally or mentally as a consequence of having 2 working parents?

How will it benefit the children who are already disadvantaged through being born into poverty to remove income from the household? How will it benefit them to remove the resources and services which have been purposely designed and implemented to give them equitable chances to learn, live healthier lives and thrive in their early years and beyond (free school breakfasts, childcare funding, healthy food vouchers etc)?

What about the parents who are neglectful, ineffective or who are just lacking the skills and experience to be well placed to cook, educate, socialise etc?

Why do you have such hatred for people who have disabilities? Have you experienced debilitating mental health issues either directly or indirectly? Do you understand that there's a huge spectrum and just because some people have the mechanisms to cope with day-to-day life that doesn't mean everyone does?

Who do you suggest might be interested in employing people who are in their middle ages and older who haven't worked but suddenly have no choice because you've removed their benefits?

Do you ever look beyond your own little bubble? Because you've said nothing that I've seen that suggests you have any capacity or desire to actually represent people.

And can you explain how being a stay at home mother works if you have a job? I have some experience in politics and wouldn't want to be an MP or Councillor for anything as you don't own your time anymore. The hours are insane, the expectation on you is often completely unachievable and unrealistic, and the pressure and stress are huge.

Going into politics because you think everyone should be like/live like you is the worst reason.

Go be a local councillor. Mine spends upwards of 60 hours a week doing active work for the community, arranging litter picks and pestering the council about dog shit and organising massive community fun days, saving beauty spots from evil home developers, actively supporting the local schools, getting better bus timetables (rural area) because many of the residents are elderly or can’t afford to run cars, setting up food banks and a local community pub in the long closed worker’s club, improving the environment for wildlife, bringing school choirs together to sing at the Christmas light turn on, organising the Christmas light turn on………. (Most of this is what I can remember for the last 12 months.). Oh, and she’s also disabled since Covid stole much of her lung capacity. And a parent.

She is one of a kind. And the best bit? She gets £12k a year, doesn’t claim expenses and people still think she doesn’t do enough (posting anonymously on Facebook from their cosy armchairs).

Still up for it, OP? Ready to get your hands dirty?

Oh, she got the kids a new park and skate park too.

There’s a lot more to politics than welfare payments and tax credits. Do you have an interest in those too?

I'd also suggest spending some time volunteering with disabled children and asking their parents about their experiences with claiming DLA and living life as a carer to a disabled child.

Nah, she wants to stand for Reform. They seem to think their elected representatives are exempt from actually doing any work. They all have a note from Nigel.

(NB this is not me mudslinging, it’s based on actual stats, the lack of MP attendance at Westminster and the number of Reform councillors who have resigned since being elected because it’s too hard).

Ah, apologies. I misread. I see that was a hypothetical.

My overall answer is that I would have no problem in theory voting for a SAHM without a degree. But I would expect them to demonstrate they were very conversant in the political system and the functions and procedures of Parliament. I would also expect them to have coherent policies with coherent rationales and some kind of empathy for those who are struggling with an interest in policy to help them.

So you wouldn't be a candidate I'd vote for, but I wouldn't have an issue with your background.

Hang on... financially this makes zero sense. I earn about 3.5k per month before tax etc. That money allows us to do more then the bare minimum - DP's salary more or less covers the bills, so with mine we can afford holidays, days out, nice food, pets, going out for dinner occasionally, we employ a cleaner, we get our milk delivered, we have various insurances, and we have savings. We spend money in the economy, which allows businesses to survive and pay tax, which in turn keeps the country running.

If I'd been a SAHM for the last six years, that's a hell of a lot of money not going into the economy. My son is happy and thriving in school, absolutely no sign that going to nursery four days a week had any ill effects. And I don't feel guilty for spending money, like my mum did when I was young. She was a SAHM for 12 years and regrets it now.

I would support a longer parental leave, available to both parents, like they have in many Scandinavian countries. I did feel that 12 months was a bit young to go to nursery, and would have been more comfortable with 18 months or 2 years. But people don't want to pay tax in this country, so that's not going to happen.

Fair point.

I have a friend who’s a MP.

He literally works every hour god sends, it’s all consuming. I haven’t socialised with him properly since he was elected - it’s 30 minutes here, or a quick coffee there. He just doesn’t have time.

And yes, he still gets stick for “doing nothing”.

People are utterly clueless.