You fool, you idiot!

[coulditbeme2323]

There were a couple of threads on MN yesterday about what posters spend their money on. One was about a slice of cheesecake in London and the other the cost of a toastie in a Garden Centre.

Neither items were cheap, but I thought there was a lot of rude comments such as "only idiots pay that" or "you fool."

Now MN is for debate and there is nothing wrong with disagreeing, but is name calling really fair just because people choose to spend their money on different things.

MN has a very clear race to the bottom mentality at the moment OP. I saw that thread and what should have been a thread about COL descended into posters being rude and just downright weird. People seem to have a real issue with other people spending their money. Any thread about eating out ends with post after post going on about making your own sandwiches and taking a flask of tea everywhere. It’s the MN chicken all over again.

There was one I read earlier today where someone said ‘you’re an idiot’ to a poster who was meaning no harm. I thought that was off. You can say a choice or behaviour is idiotic but I don’t think you should direct it personally at the poster.

To be fair it was probably the combination of the OPs title and first post being about everything being too expensive and then casually chucking in the expensive cheesecake and "I just tap, tap, tap" a few posts later. If she had mentioned it on a thread about "the best food you've ever eaten" she might not have got so many rude comments.

Probably would still have got some though, but the juxtaposition probably ibfluenced the reactions. If you're struggling to buy asda basic range to feed your family, click on a thread about the COL expecting to be able to sympathise with someone in the same boat, then they moan about choosing to spend the amount you spend on two or three days worth of full meals, on one dessert, it could get people irate!

Some folk must have more money than sense, as my late DM used to say, frequently

I spent nearly £50 on sushi the other week. As a treat.

I love being a fucking fool.

Why?

Good for you!

But they don’t have to call other people names for choosing not to do that. So many people seem to want everyone else to be mired in their misery.

I always did this when DCs were younger, and OMG my shoulders used to ache from the heavy backpack

People are ridiculous.

Some people consider it to be amoral when others spend money on something other than the absolute basic necessities.

The £195 M&S beef wellington thread at Christmas was entertaining. Some people 'couldn't believe' that anyone at all would be able to afford it and/or were outraged that people would be so indulgent during a 'CoL crisis'.

So many people considered it to be a moral issue.

What is actually wrong with that though?

Indeed - not everybody is struggling!

I read that one 🙄

It’s only a moral issue because they can’t afford it. It’s so transparent. I wouldn’t spend that money on a beef wellington but I wouldn’t name call and badger those that do.

Some of the best times I've enjoyed were with an elderly friend. If the sun was shining I would call her and say, let's go to X. Her response was always I'll bring the flasks and the blanket. She'd then have a flask of hot water, tea bags and coffee. I would go to Sainsbury and pick up sandwich making bits etc for the picnic after we'd traipsed all over a NT property.

She's gone now and I still miss those times together. Didn't cost a lot and neither of us was short of a bob or two.

I spend £80 a month on bottled water. I genuinely do not care what people think about that. Not everyone is struggling

Did you not take this up with the posters at the time?

Why would that even be on your radar? Do you mean you watch passengers take out sandwiches they brought with them from home? That’s a strange hobby, but if it gets you through the flight then observe and chuckle away I suppose.

Luckily I still have a shopping trolly pram

But yeah that’s the downside

Exactly.

I wouldn't spend £195 on a beef wellington either but I've got enough imagination and intelligence to understand why some people would.

I stood my ground.

Yes, some people are incredibly weird about what other people choose to do with their money. It's like they're incapable of comprehending that just because (eg) £15 for a toastie or whatever it was isn't worth it to them, that doesn't mean there aren't people for whom it IS worth it.

In general, the complete lack of ability to understand that different people a) like different things and b) have different incomes is a sign that someone is a complete tit and about one-tenth as clever as they think they are.

It's not just on Mumsnet though. A total stranger berated me on a train once for having an expensive fountain pen and a former colleague seemed to genuinely outraged that I chose the buy the most expensive model of Kindle available at the time. It's such an odd attitude.

Exactly. What a lot of women in particular do not appreciate is the value of their time and energy. “Just” make sandwiches, “just” take a picnic, “just” queue for ticket cancellations on the day etc etc. I would find that such a grim existence. I’m not a serf.

Everything has gone up | Mumsnet
If I was meeting friends or relatives I'd pay.
If I was nipping to a garden centre to browse or buy plants, I'd probably take a bottle of water and something to eat with me or would have eaten before I went.

Absolutely delicious cheesecake with good company in a location you're unlikely to go again? Yes, why not if you can afford it.

As for name calling, there's a mix of people on here and not all of them are polite or rational human beings.

Ok, just wondered why you've started a TAAT then.

Either way, people shouldn't be sneering at others for buying expensive food, and nor should they be sneering at others for taking sandwiches and a flask.

You do come across as though you're sneering at the latter.