AIBU to wonder why we say we’re fine when we’re not?

[ImGonnaKeepOnDancing]

When people ask if we’re okay, why do we just automatically say “yeah I’m good” even when we’re not?

I’m sat in a coffee shop and realised I do it all the time. For some context I’m having a really shitty day because it’s the anniversary of my DM death and I’m feeling really sad but when I was greeted by the barista (that I see regularly and chat with) she asked how I was and I just automatically said “I’m okay, how are you?”

Now I’m sat drinking my coffee and wondering why we do it? Out of politeness? Not wanting to be a burden? Not wanting to seem self centred?

Id love to hear your thoughts and whether I’d actually be unreasonable to just say how I feel next time I’m asked?

YABU - They don’t really want to know so just say you’re fine

YANBU - Say how you feel.

That’s interesting. And you’re correct of course. I guess it’s a human equivalent of bum sniffing - and thank god for it, in that case. And kind of “I come in peace, I know the social rules, we can get on with our business safely”.

Thank you for humouring my ramblings! Someone will be along in a minute to say we should all just sniff each other's bums, it's more efficient.

I read recently that the UK is one of the most low-context cultures in the world, so arguably we have less of this convention stuff than most other cultures. It might not feel that way but that's only because we mainly compare ourselves with the tiny handful of countries (USA, Germany) which are even further to the low extreme than we are. I think these conventions are just part of how humans have always used language - gestalts if you like.

People generally just like to say the UK is the worst at whatever they are talking about. We’re almost the most intolerant, non inclusive, ridiculous, unaccommodating country ever if you listen to people on here.