The only way to overcome anxiety is through exposure

[Passaggressfedup]

I recently overcome a massive anxiety of mine. I feel so liberated and proud. It has made me think of the other significant anxiety triggers I experienced in life and concluded that all have been overcome through regular, controlled exposure over time.

I read so many thread about children or young people experiencing anxiety, where the parent has opted to take the child away from the situation thinking it is what's best for them.

I appreciate that there was some specific instances where removal is the for the best, but aren't we, as a society, making things worse by not helping our children to face their fear so that they can not only gradually get over that particular fear, but also learn to build that sense of resilience, pride and positivity that comes with it?

Anxiety from chairing meetings is literally nowhere near the anxiety ND children and adults are experiencing all day every day or those struggling with CPTSD or both.

Adding to the general ‘not always’ conversation, there’s also nervous burn out to consider.

Sometimes our system has been so sensitised by prolonged stress, that you need a total stress detox to start to recover. Then controlled exposure after that.

Achieving that total rest after burn out is really hard. Ironically, COVID and lockdowns did that for me. Amazing opportunity- for me. Obviously for others it was the absolute opposite.

Are you really going to ask a complete stranger on a public forum, with no support, to start dwelling on what triggers anxiety in her related to her extreme experience of abuse?

@Taztoy please don't engage. I'm so sorry that you've even been drawn to share such personal information to justify your anxiety responses.

I can't say why, but when we have previously run courses uptake was very low despite offering daytime and evening, online and in person And we have noticed that those whose parents did the courses had much better outcomes. This may be a direct impact of the course, or indirectly that those parents who attended the course may also be more likely to follow through with the strategies suggested during the in person sessions.

We get so many referrals, so have now made the course mandatory as a pre requisite to access in person therapy - when we receive and screen a referral as appropriate, a link is sent to the parents to sign up for a course.

I can’t say on here anyway. It would be deleted. It’s too difficult for others to read.

so I can’t discuss my triggers here. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to - to get the op to understand. - but in order to do so I have to discuss the things he did during my rape and mnhq will delete those as they are too distressing for others to read, in the view of mnhq.

Exactly. A serious of unfortunate events in work last month set off my cPTSD panic. No amount of exposure will stop that being a trigger. Thankfully I have a very supportive boss who got me out of the situation and to safety so I could start to recover.

sometimes though the post panic ‘hangover’ is worse than the attack itself!

it’s not as simple as “just go and do it”
I've never suggested that it is a simple process. It's everything but simple.

It's almost impossible to control exposure in a school environment because there are too many variables
That's not my opinion. Anxiety always comes with triggers, unless it is only a physiological response, which happens (for instance during the menopause), but that's not common especially amongst children.

The first stage is to fully explore what those triggers are. Then, only then, can you start to look into gradual exposure. It could be one intimating teacher, it can fear of exams, it can be the pressure, it can be friendship etc...

Taking the child away with no intention to consider introducing gradual exposure at some point is not helping the child long term.

Anxiety from chairing meetings is literally nowhere near the anxiety ND children and adults are experiencing all day every day or those struggling with CPTSD or both
If you are going to feel sick, experience symptoms that you fear will lead to fainting, will make you unable to say a word etc...then yes, it's comparable. There is no such thing to judge as 'my anxiety is worse than yours' because what triggers one person might not trigger you.

How do you know if you are suffering from anxiety or PTSD/CPTSD?

Most PTSD/CPTSD will have happened at a very young age and you will probably have no conscious memory of it.

The professionals note that graded exposure therapy is not always an appropriate treatment for anxiety.

in general it is not considered appropriate where:

the anxiety is around actual harm and the activity is very likely to harm you. Eg being raped, remembering an accident where you lost your leg, memories of war etc. you can’t do repeated exposure to a car accident because it’s too expensive and it almost certainly will cause actual physical and mental harm.

other examples include anxiety around eating gluten when coeliac, anxiety around something you have an anaphylactic reaction to etc.

it’s also not considered appropriate when the anxiety is part of a more encompassing mental health issue. So for example if someone has schizophrenia and is also anxious about going outside, the schizophrenia is the guide to what treatment is appropriate and graded exposure therapy isn’t it.

Exploring the triggers without knowing what you’re doing risks causing further damage.

you also need to be aware that some children will be being abused and their behaviour is a reflection of that.

Are you really going to ask a complete stranger on a public forum, with no support, to start dwelling on what triggers anxiety in her related to her extreme experience of abuse?
Ask what of whom? I think you've lost the aim of this thread! Remember, forums are for debates on subject matters. I'm not asking anything of anyone.

My anxiety causes me to have dissociative seizures that are like epilepsy and forget my whole existence for hours and hours (global amnesia).

of course you can say that for some people the symptoms of anxiety are worse than for others.

I think yes, it does but it’s better if it’s done gently and with as much psychological safety as possible.

Have you banged your head so hard against a wall you’ve a bruise?

curled up in a ball in a disabled toilet in extreme distress. Can’t describe what I did. It would be deleted.

punched yourself when in violent meltdown and blacked your eye?

clawed your skin all over until you’re bleeding?

scratched and tore at your vulva and vagina until it too is bleeding?

seriously sat and planned how you’re going to end yourself?

ive done all that and worse.

And you expect me to believe you’ve done that?

all because you don’t want to chair a meeting?

Anyway, time to get on with my day. I think the thread has shown how this subject matter alone is a trigger for many.

Anxiety is a difficult matter to discuss and some will learn to manage it whilst others never will, will be reactive to any difficult interventions propised and instead will continue to live life overwhelmed with anxiety and the sense of helplessness no matter what.

Thank you.

Any danger of you elaborating on what you want people with generalised anxiety to expose themselves to?

That is one of the most heartless comments I think I’ve ever read on here.

That’s because some people have anxiety so severe they can’t just get over it by ‘facing their triggers’

I think this comes from the idea that the anxiety is irrational as in its silly to be afraid of the dark as dark doest harm you.

But some anxiety is rational. I am anxious to put my hand in a fire as it would hurt. Gradually exposing myself to fire wont change that.

Somes peoples anxiety is based on sensory dysregulation for instance. You actually have to work on thing like proprioception and interception not just exposure.

No, the thread shows that having done something once yourself doesn't qualify you to come along and lecture others on how to do it, nor berate parents for doing it "wrong."

Good for you that you've overcome your anxiety - I mean that genuinely. But don't presume to think that you know how to fix it in everyone, or their kids. Look up the Dunning-Kruger effect.

People are reacting like this because everyone and their dog seems to know how to "cure" anxiety and people are sick to the back teeth of ill-informed "advice." It's like when parents have one 10-month old and then start pontificating to everyone else on how parenting should be done!

Definitely controlled exposure- I think it’s most likely to work if the individual WANTS to overcome it. That’s the first barrier.

The second can be to understand how physical anxiety presents in the body and separate and then tackle that from the thoughts.

I also think context matters; being terrified of the motor way and trying to over come by driving on it could potentially go horribly wrong if you’re so worried that it actually affects you driving.

I used to dread giving assemblies when I first started teaching till one day it was my turn but somehow id missed that.

All the teachers left and it was me with 240 primary kids.

I had to literally barble something meaningful and make up a prayer for 10-15 mins off the top of my head. Was never afraid of assemblies again.

What tosh!

Just because handling it the way you describe does not work for many it does not mean they will be subjected to a life of overwhelm and helplessness. Far from it.

You literally said 'What triggers the anxiety for you?' in response to @Taztoy . Whether you intended her to think and share, or whether you were pointing to the starting point of therapy, it was inviting her to think about her triggers, when you have no idea if she was in a place or state of safety with appropriate supportive measures.

This isn't armchair stuff.