Screaming Child (ASD)

[BlackBean2023]

I feel I ABU but honestly, it’s driving me potty.

we have neighbours who have moved in three doors away who have a child of about 7 who I believe is ASD. He loves being in the garden and jumping on his trampoline - if it’s not raining, he’s bouncing!

however he is also almost constantly stimming vocally and it sounds like a constant scream. I’m not exaggerating when I say constant. It’s stopping us enjoying our garden, I can’t work from home with the back doors open as it can be heard on a teams call it’s so loud.

I know there’s nothing I can do, and I should think of his parents, but I miss the quiet calm of my garden in the sunshine

It's amazing how perfect parents of imaginary disabled children always appear on threads like this.

Well given that there are plenty of people on the op's side, and plenty of people shaming the child's mum, I feel that my sympathy is aptly placed

"Yes you can help it - you tell her to stop screaming- it's easy."

Well done you for finding the 'cure'. Thousands of parents of disabled children will be thanking you for your wisdom.

What do the other neighbours think about this, hell be disrupting the whole street!

Indeed and their litte pearls of wisdom
So helpful....

The person that wrote that is clearly an ableist. The same kind that would push someone using a cane out of the way if they were to slow . It’s amazing the nastiness here

I don't know what you mean by saying about perfect parents and imaginary children but the reality is there will be some children who will scream all day. Working in a mainstream primary school I had to cover another TA and was with the sen children - one child basically screamed or cried all day long. I asked the other TAs what I could do to help them, but was told nothing!! That is how they are all day long. It was a very long day.
So I have total empathy for the neighbour but also the parents if there is nothing they can do to stop the noise.

I feel very sorry for our neighbours but we do everything we can to limit the noise. Sometimes for long periods it's not even safe or possible to take the children into the community. We just do what we can to balance everyone's needs. There's no instant fix, there really isn't.

And there never will be an instant fix

But at least you have understanding and sympathy/empathy for all involved.

The poor child and poor parents - have some compassion is my advice. It does sound annoying for you but this is their life and they have no choices. They will have tried everything under the sun and their child is bouncing to cope - what’s he supposed to be locked up inside?!

This - like thank you very much for that magic answer 🙄🙄

We'll have to agree to disagree, as I'm the one with well wishes for both the parent/child and the OP.

And I've reported your post for troll hunting, just so you know.

Yes lets

I've reported your post calling me nasty 🥰

They become adults!

Well yes. I meant will they continue to scream etc as adults. Because that’s not something you often see I think

I feel for both sets of neighbours here.

so hard for the parents of the autistic child. It’s likely the only thing that regulates him and may be one of a few things he enjoys. He may not speak so this is how he communicates an shares his joy. He’s got a right to be in his garden.

however, even with as much compassion and empathy in the world, listening to screaming all day is all incredibly hard. Nobody is a winner here.

tough for both ❤️

I mean that on threads like this, some people who clearly don't have disabled children seem to think they have all of the answers and parents of disabled children clearly just aren't as good parents as them (with their imaginary disabled child who stops screaming when you tell them despite their severe learning disability).

Some will it depends on how their autism impacts them ,my son is 16 next week and has been a persistsnt screamer for years
Hes severly autistic with very limited understanding though
Some will grow out of it ,some maybe able to control it.

Maybe. Everyone is different. Some will get support to learn skills, communicate differently etc. Some people will not. Or won’t be able to due to complex situations and needs. Some will live with families. Some people will need residential or supported living support.

This. Most visibly disabled people in the "olden days" were shipped off to institutions or locked away in basements or attics if kept at home.

Even nowadays, we live a couple of doors down from a care home that supposedly specialises in adults with profound disabilities and offers respite. According to their advertising it's a lovely small home with plentiful access to a well equipped garden. It is pretty much silent at all times and residents are rarely in the garden (I know, the way the gardens are all neighbours have sightlines of the garden). The only times residents are in the garden are when they are been inspected, social services visit or a prospective client's family visit. As soon as the visit ends, residents are brought back inside. Whenever a resident is outside they are usually restrained and brought back in very quickly. They take them for a "walk" down the road - i.e they walk them 100m up and down the same path for half an hour.

If I was been very generous I would say the revolving door of agency workers with very little English (the workers walk past my house very regularly and take their breaks on a green area very close to my house) are very inexperienced in providing care for people with profound disabilities. One person I know who picked up an odd agency shift there in the school holidays (actual qualified carer who loves working with people with disabilities) told me that they heavily sedate the patients pretty much all day and night. She did report them after her shift ended as she witnessed numerous safeguarding concerns.

Yes the care quality commission and social services are aware - multiple neighbours including us have reported them, the group that owns the home are very good at saying the right things, putting on a show and having the right paperwork.

As for what can the parent do, very little I imagine. They can bring the child in after so long or only let them jump for a set period of time each day. They could try and find other activities that provide the same stimulation/ regulation as bouncing on a trampoline does. A good OT will be able to give alternative activities that provide the same feedback. They can hope that the child "grows out of it" - they don't need/ seek that feedback and move onto another activity to regulate instead.

It’s such a cruel condition . Can’t imagine how kids must have been treated in the days when most people were unaware of conditions like this.

My neighbours boy emits such a horrible sound I can’t image how his family cope.

It can be more than “ annoying “ though. It can be distressing to hear as well as having impacts on OPs daily life. I think the OP is being compassionate but that doesn’t solve the problem for her.

Back in which day though?
I have a severely disabled DS myself who's coming up to 40, and even when he was small residential placements were rare, so though this seems the go-to "reason we didn't hear the screaming " on the thread I'm not convinced

There has to be another reason, and even if the most sadly extreme sufferers are still in care that doesn't explain the explosion in the numbers of screamers who "can't help it"

As I said, if they scream now they'd have screamed then - even if not diagnosed - and it simply didn't happen to the extent it does now