Screaming Child (ASD)

[BlackBean2023]

I feel I ABU but honestly, it’s driving me potty.

we have neighbours who have moved in three doors away who have a child of about 7 who I believe is ASD. He loves being in the garden and jumping on his trampoline - if it’s not raining, he’s bouncing!

however he is also almost constantly stimming vocally and it sounds like a constant scream. I’m not exaggerating when I say constant. It’s stopping us enjoying our garden, I can’t work from home with the back doors open as it can be heard on a teams call it’s so loud.

I know there’s nothing I can do, and I should think of his parents, but I miss the quiet calm of my garden in the sunshine

You'll probably be told we weren't as "aware" or good at diagnosing then, but if they really can't help it they'd surely have been shrieking and screaming just the same

Unfortunately there's a subset of parents - certainly not all, but some - who simply can't be bothered to guide their DCs and insist they're on the spectrum instead. It helps nobody, but sadly it still happens

It’s part of living a city life , there is always noise , even a rural one I should add , I’m surrounded by fields and this time of the year from sheep to deer noise ( omg have you heard it ) .
A child with autism cannot control stimming vocal or otherwise . By all means be annoyed but don’t make that musk life even harder . Maybe look at some noise help , bamboo maybe some sort of water feature . Unfortunately with living on top of each other people have to be more flexible.,

My dd screams a high pitched scream when we're out and about

She cant help it but I am so on edge at trying to stop it due to threads like this

My well wishes are with the child's parents who are likely just doing their best

Noise is a part of life. Yabu.

I'm reminded of a time just over a year ago when I was reduced to laughing in bed at the middle of the night because all I could hear was a pair of foxes screaming furiously during a marathon fox sex session

Ahh, solid, practical, useful advice - good one! Got any other wisdom?

And whilst parents can’t necessarily stop them from making noise on the trampoline, they can ensure they are only allowed out for 1-2 hours per day in 30 minute intervals so people get respite from the noise, taking them to the park, for a walk, indoor play or whatever. Multiple hours in a row screaming is simply not fair. Compromise is always the best option

Why wouldn't your 'well wishes' be for both the parents and the OP?

Bit mean and unnecessary to have picked only one of two options.

lol I belive you and foxes make such weird sounds , I admit I’m on the highlands and baby sheep and their mums drive me potty , then the pheasants and the owls at night . Then again when I stay in the city is the noise of people and cars etc . We just really need to learn to adapt and live the best we can . There is always something we don’t like but that is life .

I mean, back in the day my autistic children with learning disabilities would have been in residential schools, that's why no one would have heard the stimming etc.

But they could limit his time outdoors. It sounds like he’s outside for an insane amount of time, and this might be a coping strategy on his parents’ part, but compromise is clearly needed.

Because I am a sen mum

I’m fascinated to know what you would
do.

So being a 'sen mum' means you don't wish the OP well?

Even if you don't for whatever reason, it was unnecessary to type that you only wish the neighbours well imo.

No its not mean to wish the kids parents well. I can give well wishes to whomever I choose

They'll be doing their best

Please go somewhere else with your ableist nonsense.

Not if they don't understand 'stop screaming'.

Same to be honest.
It's not OPs problem. None of it is.
"What do you expect me to do?"
I don't care, it's not my problem.

What is the neighbour doing to prevent it causing issues for others?

She may not think it is a problem. You'll have to address it with her unfortunately.

We were at mc Donald’s yesterday with the kids ( 4 and 10 year olds ) and the boy next to us was clearly autistic and doing exactly that would be stimming and screaming every few seconds .
4 year olds decided to announce it was annoying her , I was mortified as it was my oldest , who told her straight away that boy had autism like their older brother ( oldest is severely autistic but his stimming is mostly rocking and not as loud) so she needs to leave him be and respect he has the right to go out too . My 4 year old accepted .
I think we are all so concerned to have our own comforts and often feel the need these days to be offended by everything that we have become more entitled and lost empathy .
society is more than me me me .
Please know not everyone is like people here , I wouldn’t mind your kid screaming or I woud but I wouldn’t be judging or ever say anything . You live your life and make your son happy hun . Others can choose to be upset or offended but that’s on them not you .

Are you joking? As if the parents are loving the screaming! I really remember comments like this until surprise, surprise no one could just tell them to stop doing xyz.

Given the distress being caused to the OP, I think it was nasty to make it clear you only wish the neighbours well.

The neighbours can't help their kid's ASD but equally the OP can't help that she's struggling with the screaming.

Try a bit of empathy for both here.

If only it was
My son haa a persistant scream hes severely autisic with very limited understading i telll him screaming has finished
And he,s quiet for a little while and then started again ,he does at at school and respite as well.

Maybe get him to play indoors for some of the time out of respect for their neighbours.

🥺🥺 thank you for your kind words @ThatLemonBee

Its super stressful 😫, as i dont want people thinking badly of her - shes so sweet and gentle but when she is excited/interested/overwhelmed, she does make this squealing sound

I'm constantly trying to balance protecting and supporting her and calming the noise as much as possible!

❤️