To feel upset about post on local fb group

[Welshmum2010]

I live in a fairly small village where people are super nosey but I keep myself to myself. Recently I chose to participate in no mow may (I did start a bit early) where you don’t mow your lawn to encourage wild flowers and bees / butterflies. I have also build a small hedgehog shelter.

today some busybody from down my road has posted on the local fb group about people needing to mow their lawns short and not have any wood in the garden as unsightly and attracts pests and rats. Now I know this is aimed at me and I feel upset.

i don’t want to mow it but they’ve got all their cronies making comments as well. I’ve got a friend coming to mow the lawn now in a few days as I can’t face the drama. We can leave a few patches where the lovely wild flowers are.

@Welshmum2010 - I can't work out if you are asking AIBU because I've given in to pressure and am going to get the lawn mowed, or AIBU for not mowing the lawn in the first place. Which is it?

Who cares what other villagers on Facebook think anyway?

Just ignore them and do what you think is best.

Both really I think.

I would find a photo online with the benefits of no mow May and tell them the butterflies and insects love it! I leave a circular patch in my garden unmowed but if it was bigger I’d have a bigger section. The people in my town make posts like this about how unmown verges make the town look shit, whereas in the next town over they asked the council to stop mowing the verges and they have groups that put down clippings with native wildflower seeds in. Unfortunately lots of astroturf here ☹️. Anyway, please don’t feel bullied by this person and don’t mow it if you don’t want to - it’s your property!

I’m extremely grateful for the posters who care enough about misogyny they call it out when they see it.

It was if someone new came into your friendship group, the person was called Wendy, then when they froze you out you’d have been classed as being Wendied.

I think privileged white people stole/co-opted the term from brown and black people as a stealthy way to usher it into it being labelled misogynistic and they were successful. Hurrah for white feminism.

Fuck the neighbours honestly. Who cares what they think. Just carry on doing what you're doing and ignore them.

YABU to give a second thought to what a random neighbour thinks about the state of your lawn (given the only "issue" is that it's not been mowed).

YAalsoBU to use the term "Karen", it does a generalised disservice to women.

The person complaining is overly concerning herself with the state of your lawn, that's all. You don't need to give it any headspace.

YANBU @Welshmum2010 there are some right nosey interfering people in some villages. Most people in my village are nice to be fair, but there is the odd snarky comment on FB. However, usually for good reason. People leaving dog shit around, and playing loud music late at night. Most people are OK.

Your village though, sounds a bit like some people have nothing better to do than moan. And it sounds like you need to leave that group.

You do your No Mow May, and how lovely that you are looking after the hedgehogs too. I also have TWO hedgehog feeding stations - both with 2 doors in, so no-one can get trapped!

@PrizedPickledPopcorn · Today 16:00
Stick a flag in the lawn saying ‘no mow may’, ‘bee food’ and ‘hedgehogs live here’ etc, if you make it pretty, children will stop to look at the flowers.

This. Good idea! Some people will still moan probably though.

This thread is living proof that some people like to go on a bit! It's funny how some people are going on and on, about the OP saying 'that name; and that they 'stopped reading' because the OP mentioned 'that name,' when the OP edited it out within 2 minutes of posting it! 🙄

Most people would not have seen it unless they looked at the un-edited comment! Some people are purposely looking at the un-edited comment, just to have a go... No advice or help or sympathy, just a barbed attack on the OP for using a word that she EDITED OUT TWO HOURS AGO.

The irony of people having a go at the OP for using that slur, and 'attacking women' then still going on at her nearly 2 hours into the thread, and after she removed it within 2 minutes!

I would ask for this thread to be deleted @Welshmum2010

I live in a village where this sort of thing happens on local groups. It takes a while but now I laugh at the spinelessness of people who can't knock on the doors of people who have long grass but can passively aggressively post on FB. Spineless. They don't deserve a minute of your time. Cancel your friend and enjoy watching the busybody's blood pressure rise when they can't control how other people behave.

Thank you, I did think I deleted it. Lovely advice thank you x

Do you think you are any better with this vicious little attack?

Why people feel the need to jump on the bandwagon is beyond me. It's such 'mean girl' bullying behaviour. There's no need for the faux outrage over a word.

OP - comment back and say what you said here and do not give in and mow your lawn! Come on girl, grow a pair!

😘

Nice online bullying @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne

Just ignore them, it’s not hard.

i am doing “no mow may. DD and I came home from shopping the other day, the neighbour was outside mowing her lawn, and she called over “would “DH” like to borrow my mower” .. I just said “no thanks” .. said to DD “she trying to passively aggressively tell me the lawn wants mowing”

We just laughed about it, and carried on. People can only get to you, if you let them.

Why are you assuming I am white?

Yes, you did delete it, but unfortunately, the original comment is visible if people go and look at all the edits.

Why (some) people are going into your edits and looking at what was said, and then coming on here PURELY to have a go at you is beyond me. Not something I would do and I don't get it. As I said, most people didn't even see the comment, and they have had to dig into your first (unedited) post to find it.

It's baffling, and smacks of just wanting to have a go at you. I'm sorry you are being treated like this. Yes, it wasn't great what you said, but you said it (we all make mistakes) and you deleted it, and people are still going on 2 hours later. As I said, I would report your OP and ask MN to delete the thread, as sadly, I don't think some people are going to let it go. Up to you though. xx

This bring back the memory of a convo i had with a friend, i was moaning about ingrown hair and boils, lol she said ditch the razors and grow the grass problem solved.

Agree with this. Wildlife are good at finding wild bit, having somewhere wild then not can be confusing.

Why do you think I have assumed you are white?

Because I said I dislike the term Karen, you quoted me and spoke about ‘white feminism’.

How does anyone know who cuts their grass & who doesn't, apart from your v close neighbours? And one thing to bear in mind for the future, OP, is "what people think of you is none of your business ".

So? Any person of any colour can critique/support white feminism. And many people can and do support white feminist ideology without being white or female, in a similar way that a biological female can support the notion that "transwomen are women". Call it allyship or ignorance. Either way, there isn't always a colour boundary.

It’s specifically about early pollen. If you allow early pollen by letting the lawn flower in May, it massively increases the insect life which in turn not only pollinates the crops, it feeds the birds.

It has a measurable impact on biodiversity, according to those who measure stuff!

But what does me being against the term ‘Karen’ have to do with white feminism?