To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

[turkishdeelitee]

Because she literally never eats breakfast, just point blank refuses. Also refuses lunch for five out of seven days a week. She does eat an OK dinner if it’s something she likes. I’m fed up and worried. She’s nearly 3.

My daughter was similar, she would eat ham, wotsits, cucumber, sometimes cheese and yoghurt. She wouldn't eat cooked food. Her bigger sister would eat anything and I was cooking from scratch most days.
She was breastfed until she was three and I think that was part of the problem. She didn't need food. She dropped her weight a little and I got stressed. She would eat lots of fruit but that obviously wasn't meeting all her nutritional needs.

I didn't find the answer, I can remember putting her lunch out and thinking it was a waste of time. She grew out of it, she was a fussy eater until she was about eighteen. Preferring beige food and fruit. Thankfully now she's got a brilliant, healthy diet.

I wonder if she's picking up on your stress, of course that's natural and not easy to stop yourself feeling that way.

Could she help you prepare food?
Good luck, it's very frustrating.

I look back at the struggles I had with my children not eating a proper meal and wonder why I bothered. They would have eaten all the ingredients as picky bits - but just weren’t interested in the cooked meal outcome. I have no idea why I didn’t give them ‘deconstructed dinners’ until they were 5 or 6. They only have been interested in sitting down for a good meal since the age of about 12 or 13 (puberty basically)!

That’s a helpful tip, thanks. I will try that.

My DS was the same, just before he turned 3 we went on holiday and for the entire week he ate fries and avocado on rice cakes, that’s it! When he started school I had to supply the avocado and rice cakes, ham, and some cold rolled up pancakes as that’s all he would eat!! It is so tough so I really understand your frustration and worry. My DS is still fussy but now that he understands better and is 3 yrs older he eats a much more varied diet. Have you tried a sticker chart yet? For every new food my son had he would get a sticker and then 10 stickers led to a surprise, or something he chose. Good luck, but it will get better!

I remember reading this advice when weaning her brother and I don’t know if I just have awkward kids but that doesn’t work for us. Even now I dread friends arranging picnics as I know mine will barely touch anything!

If you're worried about upfs and the ham, you could make your own?

What do you think it is about the ham that she likes? Easy chew? Salty?

No? (huh?)

IF she eats snacks, stop the snacks etc. There would've been no issue.

I couldn’t - I wouldn’t have the foggiest where to start, and I’m not killing a pig 🐖

That was quite my issue with the wording of the post. However, I do feel we could all potentially move on now 😂

Unless it’s ham and crisp picnic 😂

I have a child who doesn't eat much. At 3 she could have just one meal all weekend. It was hard work. Her weight didn't suffer until she turned 4 and since then she has barely gained any weight even though she is now eating better.

It is difficult we have different rules about food when she's eating well and when she isn't.
If she hasn't eaten breakfast or lunch most days and she's happy to eat ham I would give her more ham. I would just then offer her less ham over the rest of the week to provide balance to her diet over the course of the week. My daughter would have days where she would only eat ham or chicken and other days where she would only eat pasta and other days of only peas and so on.

Keep offering food. If one meal has been rejected offer a second. Keeping the rejected meal to be offered the next meal. Once she started eating better we were more restrictive about what we offered as back up meals.

Has nursery ever expressed any concern about her eating or her energy levels?

We fast forwarded to Lord of the Flies pretty quickly on this thread…

I don’t know actually … maybe a tiny bit and a couple of crisps but something about the layout of picnics seems to put them both off. Don’t know why, I love a picnic but 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t restrict milk as it’s actually pretty healthy & if she is prepared to drink that then that’s a good thing.

I would just leave a couple of bowls out for her to eat on the go - would she eat things like shreddies, mini weetabix, American pancakes, breadsticks. You can then just box them up again if uneaten. Babybel, Innocent smoothies & mini yoghurt might also work.

I don’t think you can force feed her.

You could try Naked ham. It’s nitrate free at least.

What time are you giving it to her? i've never liked to eat breakfast too early either. Even as a child. I'm usually ready to eat around 11am. It can make me feel nauseous to force food down me early in the morning when I am neither hungry nor in the mood.

Make sure she always has access to some easy, healthy food at the point she feels she wants it. A banana, some greek yoghurt, some cheese and grapes or hummus and breadsticks, avocado, hard boiled egg. Anything that can be prepped ahead and put in a tub ready for later, or is really low effort and won't go to waste if she doesn't want it.

It doesn't need to be 'breakfast' per se, just any food that is going to give her what she needs at the point she feels hungry.

They have commented she needs encouragement to eat. Hopefully she will get better. I was pretty stressed at the start of the thread because we’re going out later so I gave the children their ‘main’ meal at lunch time so then started panicking she won’t eat anything as she refused most of it, silly I know but I do fret.

Can you do a picky platter? Like cheese, then little chicken on a stick things, carrot sticks, blueberries, bread sticks and just put it out while you do drawing together. Mine love a plate of bite sized things and it really helped DS1s appetite and he eats much better in general now. He was never a big eater.

The best thing for his eating was DS2 who will inhale all the food if DS1 isn't quick enough though!

Is she a healthy weight? Otherwise healthy?

If so I would just carry on offering something that can be put back away (yogurt, fruit, bread etc) and she will eat if she wants it. Do not make it into any sort of battle as that is just storing up future food issues.

It is only really an issue if she isn’t thriving.

Is she small? If she's not then you don't need to be fretting.

She’s slightly below average according to google but literally only by a pound or so and she is quite petite so nothing to worry about and she looks healthy. Silly I know … just we want them to be healthy and have a varied diet!

Grins, alright then.

Anyway, if won't eat meals, surely healthy snacks are better than nothing anyway? Ha.

Is she the sort of toddler that could enjoy getting involved in making something to eat? Even as far as going to the shop too? Such as, does she like a jacket potato? Go to the shop, let her chose the spud she likes, what to put it in (even a bit of ham, ha) and see if that works?

Best of luck OP, am sure you'll get there, eventually! '-)

@turkishdeelitee do you genuinely think it's better that she eats nothing at all over some ham and crisps?