To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

[turkishdeelitee]

Because she literally never eats breakfast, just point blank refuses. Also refuses lunch for five out of seven days a week. She does eat an OK dinner if it’s something she likes. I’m fed up and worried. She’s nearly 3.

it isn't quite that straightforward. I am worried both about the quantity of food but also the type of food. Like I say I’m sure she’d eat a packet of crisps for breakfast and a packet of ham for lunch but we’re not there yet!

But it is pretty straightforward. Either you're worried about your OP (below) that she goes from dinner to dinner without eating. That is worrying. Or that she will eat, but only things that she likes, which aren't necessarily your foods of choice. IMO, and I could be wrong, you have two choices, give her the foods she likes and accept that it's better than her starving herself and/or you battling with her over it, or go to battle with her. Three year olds are pretty stubborn, iirc.

Because she literally never eats breakfast, just point blank refuses. Also refuses lunch for five out of seven days a week. She does eat an OK dinner if it’s something she likes. I’m fed up and worried. She’s nearly 3.

I sort of agree because it'll just make it harder and harder to get her to eat real food.

If she’ll eat ham and crisps I would give her that for lunch. Do a ham sandwich, knowing full well she’s likely to pick out the ham. Use no nitrate ham (either naked or waitrose own are good) to make it healthier or yes you can easily make your own by buying a gammon joint and googling a recipe- no at home butchery required. Plus a packet of pom bears since they’re lower salt than a lot of adult crisps. And stick some fruit on there too and if you get lucky she might have some.

And then I’d also ask the GP or HV to do a general check up and refer to a paediatric dietitian but the referral can take time so in the meantime feed her what she’ll eat.

Is your child gaining weight appropriately? If not, it’s time for a change. The day our doctor suggested I provide unlimited Nutella was the day I realized that my definition of healthy had to radically change.

my child has ARFID and I had to have two goals. First, getting calories into her so she would grow. Second, not turning food into a battle or an area of control because anorexia was a very real threat.

we made it past the age where anorexia was most likely. ARFID is still a huge part of our lives. It is never going away. Dd controls when she tries new food and she does expand her palette. Occasionally we lose a safe food and that is frustrating.

If your child will eat ham, include it and other simple options. She needs calories.

Does the nursery offer a hot lunch option? If they do I would try her with that to start with - my DD used to eat anything and everything at the childminders when she was eating with the other children. Ate barely anything at home!

I would keep offering op and try to involve her in the cooking process. I'd also keep a diary of what she actually eats so if you need to take it to the gp at some point for extra support you have an accurate log of exactly what she's getting.

Kids eat in colour on Instagram is really good particularly for fussy eaters.

AFRID is a possibility.

I wouldn't cut back on milk yet, as long as it's whole milk. With its fat-soluble vitamins, protein and calcium it's a good food for a 3 year-old.

Sorry but no you can’t stop offering she’s only 3. Try things that can be put back in the fridge / cupboard if she refuses - yoghurt, overnight oats etc

If she has an aversion to food then it won't make any difference. If she is just selectively picky and actually not a terrible eater which seems to be the case, as the OP has mentioned quite a lot she will eat and doesn't seem to have involved any professionals about her eating then relaxing and giving her time to develop a broader palate whilst giving her stuff she will eat will probably be the most sensible approach.

@turkishdeelitee do you have any issues with food, or eat a particular diet?

Do you have a partner? Could you take a step back and her father take over food time?

Sorry @Happyjoe - I did actually really appreciate your post, as I’m surprised it got the reaction it did; like the old days when you cross Royaltee. (My post was politer than the one I wanted to put which was along the lines of ‘stop making shit up’ but like I say I was a bit stressed when I started the thread!

Unless you can predict the future, you don't know that.

Most doctors advise parents of fussy eaters to give them whatever they'll eat, because any calories are better than no calories.

No apology needed, and yeah, was surprised too, well, not that surprised as MN is quite spiky over nothing at times! Good luck with your daughter :-)

Have you ever just tried the basic toast with butter or normal standards cereal why does it have to be “fancy” breakfasts for. 3 year old

Yes, agreed

mine would eat bowls of peas, weirdly, but also chocolate milk helped (she didn’t like milk milk ever)

Hi OP

i don’t think you’re rude. No idea why people are saying that.

it sounds really tough and stressful.

some of the advice on here is truly wild. Please don’t try to force her and demand she’s stays at the table - that will cause all manner of issues in the future. And it’s just down right unethical.

i know this will cause a riot - but have you tried naughty cereals like co co pops or Cheerios to try to encourage her to eat in the mornings. A little buffet and see what she choose? Wheatabix, pastries?

i know you’re aiming for health but getting food into her would be ideal.

I think as long as she’s having lots of water and fluids it may pass. She is eating and it does sound varied. She may not feel hunger and eats food that feel good to her.

might be worth asking the GP for advice or a dietician.

id probably just give her the ham too and then add some other foods next to it. But limit the ham. You can cook some up and slice it so it’s less UPF

If she drinks milk, I'd offer her breakfast and if she doesn't want any offer her a cup of full fat milk instead since you pretty much know she'll have it.

When she refuses meals, is there anything different about her environment on those occasions (noise, location, smell, distractions)?

Are there snacks that she likes and you'd be happy to offer at breakfast/ lunch (picky bits like raisins, cheese, rice cakes)? My two always loved grazing, but full meals at breakfast and lunch they found a bit overwhelming.

Most advice for ARFID is to let them eat safe foods.

It’s better than thin air and reduces chance of hospitalisation.

Explain that ham and crisps are for lunchtime only. Eating that at lunchtime would be better than nothing. Plain crisps are only potatoes, oil and salt after all

Will she drink flavoured milk? If she will try a range of fruit puree to flavour milk. If she will drink milk rather than eat, give her milk.

FWIW youngest and my friend's youngest both went through a phrase where they wouldn't eat anything solid as toddlers but would have smooth soups and milkshake. We joke they were preparing for being lazy teens.

Can you predict the future then instead? Strange comment.

Has it been confirmed the toddler is ARFID? Must've missed that.

My dd has anorexia. She was very fussy at this age. I now know it’s ARFID albeit undiagnosed. She got better as she got older. I get you want your dd to eat healthily. Let her eat. Food is food. Have safe options always available if she refuses what you offer even if that is crisps and ham.

It's not strange at all. The advice for parents of fussy eaters is to allow them their safe foods and to give them multi vitamins on top, not to withdraw those foods in the hopes that they'll eventually eat something else.

Calories in the form of ham, crisps and milk are better than 24 hours of nothing.