To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

[turkishdeelitee]

Because she literally never eats breakfast, just point blank refuses. Also refuses lunch for five out of seven days a week. She does eat an OK dinner if it’s something she likes. I’m fed up and worried. She’s nearly 3.

When will people stop posting shite like “no child ever starved themselves” sadly that isn’t true and for some children they very much will.

When my eldest was little she hardly ate anything. She was basically surviving on cereal, plain pasta, yoghurts and cucumber at one point. I have no idea why she went through this phase. She is fine though and ended up eating normally. I would just note down what she does like to eat and give her that so at least she is having something.

will you stop repeating that.

children can and do starve themselves.

it is dangerous to keep repeating what is an outright falsehood.

My food issues are nowhere near as severe as ds (and they are also the reason I made sure to expose ds to a massive range of foods from a young age which worked til be was 5!) but as a child I went though a phase of eating nothing but corned beef (yuck!) and another of only eating Asda waffles! My parents rightly didn’t make a fuss and in my case I now eat a normal varied diet with just a few sensory based issues.

What a snotty overeaction. What is extremely ignorant is not offering your 2 year old food from the moment she wakes until dinner time. I think that is called neglect....rather I know it is.

I suspect the OP was hangry when she started this thread.

@turkishdeelitee

Would she be interested in the Billy Bear sliced meat, OP? It might appeal to her at breakfast time.

https://grocerytrader.co.uk/iconic-billy-bear-celebrates-40-years-with-a-brand-new-look-supported-by-golden-acre-foods/

One of mine would never eat her own food but would eat mine 🙄so I use to just put our food together on one plate so that she thought it was my food she's eating. Does she show interest in what your eating?

I love Billy bear 😍

You might find that when she is sitting with other small children all eating their lunch she copies what they are doing and eats hers, or some of it at least. It can sometimes happen like this.

Just don’t let her have any cartoons (or whatever - ‘start to the day’, can’t go to nursery/play/the park/outside etc) until she’s had breakfast. Doesn’t have to be big but it needs to be something. It’s like brushing teeth or putting on a seatbelt. Non negotiable.

You can get nitrate free ham if that’s a concern. Bearfields is one brand but there are others too.

@turkishdeelitee what is her appetite like at dinner time? Does she eat well?

if she does, I’d try not to worry. Children need less calories than we think they do and she may just not be hungry. You did say some days she eats a morning snack and some lunch.. so chances are she’s eating when she’s hungry and not bothering when she’s not.

Get her checked out at the GP/HV and if all is well, keep offering, keep it breezy then try not to worry. Chances are in six months you’ll be worrying about something else.

Very similar here. I had a very limited diet up until i was about 17, was picky/fussy as all get out until well into my 20s.

There is stuff i can't/won't eat now, but i work around it and eat quite a varied diet in my 40s, but i still have some sensory/texture issues with some foods. i eat a much more varied diet than anyone else in the household. my trial is my adhd likes to obsess about a food/meal, then will randomly go off it and i can't touch it again for months.

I have one child (DS19) with full blown ARFID, with a real fear of new foods/smells thrown in and who won't even look at food not on his safe list, and eats about 5 meals and nothing else. we've made some breakthroughs in the last month and added back in two old safe foods that he suddenly stopped eating. (yay)
and one (DD17)who has a very limited diet but doesn't react to other people eating food she doesn't like... she probably qualifies for ARFID but is easier to feed and will make her own meals.

TBH.. even my own mum is borderline for it, but her issues are mostly texture related.

My 5 year old little girl is the same. She’ll eat her breakfast every morning though, usually porridge or a slice of toast, banana and yoghurt. But then she’ll flat out refuse her lunch and dinner, maybe 2 mouthfuls of each meal at best. She’s tall and very slim but looks healthy and has plenty energy. She’s been weighed at school (routine for every child) and is a normal weight. Do not let this stress you out, I have no concerns about it with my daughter, they’ll eat when they’re hungry and I would only be worried if she was lethargic or looked drained, pale etc. thousands of little ones have tiny appetites, please don’t worry!

Why do you consider broccoli an adult taste? Lots of babies and children like broccoli.

Bloody hell you are so rude, wtf?! You haven't paid these people for solutions you know, its a chat forum, calm down, jeez. This responder was expressing disapproval that you let a 3 year old not eat. I agree with them. You are in charge. The 3 year old isn't. You are being more assertive with total strangers on here than you are with your own non-compliant toddler. I've raised 5 kids including fussy eaters. Firm voice, you are NOT getting down from that table until you have eaten your breakfast. There. Explained how you avoid it. Bet you don't bloody like it though! (I know my no-nonsense approach won't go down well with the gentle parenting generation but she's 31 now, alive and well and likes to batch cook!). Its not all unicorns and rainbows. You are making a rod for your own back if she already doesn't have to do as she's told.

My oldest did that
Or i would tell him it waa Daddys and he was not alloweed to to eat Daddys tea ,worked a treat and he ate the lot.

Do you have any idea what is the reason she is not wanting to eat? Like certain food, too busy doing something else, difficulty chewing/swallowing ...

I feel like the most important thing is she gets some calories in. Variety next. It sounds from what you said will consistently eat ham, crisps and milk.

So how about ham and cheese wraps cut into bite size pieces, maybe melt the cheese so they’re harder to disassemble and pick off the ham. Maybe with a dip as lots of kids love to dip. Ham in scrambled eggs. Ham in egg muffins. Ham in pasta.

You could try making gammon and slicing it thinly. You might need a mandolin to get it as thin as packet ham.

Then crisps - what about plain tortilla chips with a dip, eg guac. Aldi do some that are just corn, oil and salt. Or if she will eat chili then nachos - again I’d serve it in a bowl with chips to dip.

Milk - would she drink a milky smoothie? What about just strawberries or banana blended in milk to start. Once she’s happy with that add some PB for protein.

Will she cook with you? Some kids are more interested in food they have been involved in preparing.

Is there different ways you could serve food? Would she be more interested in a platter on the table that she can serve herself from than a plated meal? Now it’s getting
warmer could you have a picnic outdoors? Sometimes my kid won’t eat in her own chair but happily eats on my lap - admittedly this one is a bit annoying.

Hi OP, my eldest was a fussy eater and very lean. It turned out I am a coeliac and so is she. It did explain a lot of the refusal and after diagnosis it got so much better but she was older than 3 (she was 7) and then was more happy to try different things. The problem with testing for coeliacs is that she would need to eat enough gluten for it to show up in her blood tests.

I would go to the GP though and talk to them about her fussy eating.

I was a fussy eater when a child and would hide the bread in my sandwiches down the back of the sofa because instinctively I knew I didn’t want it. I was in my early 40s when I was diagnosed. But I had always had very little bread, pizza or pasta growing up, instead having more rice or potatoes.

DD was like this and it is very worrying but do try not to get stresses about it especially if she is active and growing.

We found it was best to always offer a variety of things in small portions and the advice to make this food which can be put back in the fridge is good.

DD improved dramatically when she went to nursery aged 3 - it was a very small village nursery where the children had to sit around the table at "meal/snack" time even if they didnt eat - and no pressure was put on them to eat. I think DD copied the others and I think the increased activity made her hungrier.

She was much better from then on although was a reluctant breakfast eater in her early teens but that was kind of a "non negotiable" as I then was relaxed about how much she ate at lunchtime. She always ate better in the evening.
Now in her mid 20s she eats very well and loves visiting different, expensive restaurants ! It does get better

Thanks. Sorry, I’ve been out for a bit and just come back to the thread. It probably is best to wrap it up there as I doubt anyone will read it but if she’s not in the mood for eating what happens is that I offer her breakfast and if she refuses I do offer a snack a bit later on. If she eats breakfast I don’t as I’d prefer her to eat lunch.

I cannot believe so much has been made of so little, but the assumption that she was piled with snacks and the instruction to stop ‘and then she will eat’ annoyed me. And I don’t think people would have been bothered at all if it had been a less well known poster either!

I don’t think I’m controlling about food unless not wanting her to have a diet of ham and crisps is controlling in which case yes, I’m controlling.

But the thread has been infiltrated by a troll anyway so will leave it there.

Since when is posters calling you rude a “troll”?

If she is happy and healthy, growing normally and no stomach pains, then she's fine. My youngest would front-load his eating, so the exact opposite -- massive breakfast, snacks, big lunch, then nothing after that. He was perfectly fine. I would just offer the meals and clear them away with no pressure and certainly no stress on your part.