To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

[turkishdeelitee]

Because she literally never eats breakfast, just point blank refuses. Also refuses lunch for five out of seven days a week. She does eat an OK dinner if it’s something she likes. I’m fed up and worried. She’s nearly 3.

Why would they be having a laugh?

I don’t get what’s funny about that suggestion.

Exactly. This is what I am saying.

@turkishdeelitee

When will she start pre-school, OP?

What are the arrangements for food there? Do they offer food themselves or do all the children take something from home?

I wonder whether she will decide to join in with having something to eat if the other children at her table are eating.

Has she always had a small appetite and is there anything else going on at home OP?

Do NOT do this. Dear me are people still doing this? How very ignorant. Foolish advice.

Thank goodness you have the common sense to see that for the insanity it is! Some people, sheesh!

No new advice that you haven’t already had (omitting that bit of toxicity).

How do you make your own ham? (Gammon tends to have nitrates etc).

Is she on the same percentiles she has always been? That's what they focus on, one of my children was refusing full meals too, to the point that he dropped percentile lines and was referred to a dietician from the GP. It might be worth having her weighed by the health visitors so they can log and see how her growth curve looks like. My little one had to be on pediasure shakes for about 1 year until he went back to his percentile. He's now 4 btw and he's eating like never before! His appetite is great and he has a healthy diet, I did worry a lot when he was 2, it took time but got better. The dietician always advised me to keep offering even only for exposure (eg he used to refuse broccoli, but if I was serving them for dinner I used to put a small piece on his plate for exposure, no pressure to eat it). He didn't eat any for over a year and now he eats pretty much any veg! Dietician advised that if he refused full meals I could do small snack plates with lots of choices and small portions which he would find more manageable. It's so stressful to see them refusing food, but it did get so much better for us, I hope it resolves soon for you as well!

Edit to add: don't know if anyone mentioned it or if it's helpful, but there is a brand called "naked" I think, that makes ham, sausages, bacon etc with no nitrates/nitrites and things like that.

My friends child was like this. The dietician said give them what they want.

Its hard, but protein is needed and if that’s what she’ll eat, I’d go with it.

@turkishdeelitee

Would she eat something for breakfast if you included ham, OP?

I'm thinking perhaps sliced ham with a spoonful of scrambled egg. Plus a milkshake?

Someone once told me that a child will never starve in the presence of food. I guess always make sure there are things for her to nibble on around as and when she fancies it… not sure what else you can do. Good luck OP 😊

Could you post your meal pattern @turkishdeelitee? Children need to learn from their parents so eating together and sharing food can be a good way to get them to eat

And yet children have starved themselves to death. It was on BBC breakfast one day. Fussy eating is a very real issue. Some kids can’t eat.

People often overestimate how much children this age need. If she's still a healthy weight and growing in height, she's getting enough.

Often toddlers are given too large a portion and either a) get overwhelmed or b) start realising they can simply fill up when their favourite foods are offered. Often people are offering what seems like a "healthy" or "small" snack - a banana is a good example, that is easily enough to kill a small child's appetite for the next meal.

Try much smaller portions, and a central serving dish where she can choose & serve elements of the meal for herself.

Health visitor/paediatrician? I would get some advice there op, not on MN.

Frankly they were talking rubbish. I think DS record was a week with nothing eaten even having all his safe foods constantly avaiable.

he is now tube fed for most of his intake

Don do that. My daughter was really sick for a few years. Stopped eating and lost weight. Drs wouldn’t listen till she lost wegoht

anyway she became severely anemic. Milk inhibits iron production.

lots of issues ensued .

How does being tube fed work at home?

She will be fine as soon as she starts school she will find her appetite. I was the same with my son and my daughter they both eat like horses now. In the first few years you struggle to get a rice grain into them the all of a sudden they find their appetite. I wouldn't worry if she was eating nothing then I would worry. She will enjoy food eventually.

i mean. If she would eat crisps ham and milk. I’d be happy with that

apparently I only ate fish fingrfs beans and chips for 3 years. My mum took me to the fr who said and the problem is??? There’s protein fat and carbs.

so that’s what I ate for breakfast lunch and dinner

Same way as it does with a baby /toddler who is ng tube or peg fed

He went straight to the tube directly into his stomach so we have liquid feeds (basically high calorie ready made formula!) which are pumped straight into him.

Others may have NG tube which is through the nose but that tends to be shorter term (or while waiting for PEG surgery). With DS it was urgent and they knew he wouldn’t tolerate tube in his nose so it was done in two weeks and 8 years later it’s still going strong! (Well the button is changed every 3 months!)

whats the plan for the future?

Buy a cut of meat like pork shoulder and then cook it and cut it up.

I think you can cure it yourself by rubbing salt onto it and then washing it off but I’ve never done it so OP would have to look up a proper recipe.

I think someone posted one up thread.

I assume gammon is also less processed than packaged ham, so even that’s better (that’s what I use as I like thick chunks of ham in my sandwich).

Try and look at her eating over the entire week rather than day to day. If she is a healthy weight and height etc., I wouldn't worry about it. Also, perhaps wait until she's at nursery and then see how she does. I know some children who were restrictive eaters who ate much better at nursery because they were amongst all the other children eating and there was some peer pressure to conform.