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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the school not to let dd have her photo taken with lipstick on?

72 replies

Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:05

this is actually a genuine question to teachers.

dd had her school photo, and I had to sign a paper giving my consent for her to be photographed. The other girls persuaded her that wearing lipstick would be a good idea. We got the photos today, she looks awful and the lipstick is really obvious.

The photos cost 30 euros per pack. I have got photos of all my other children, that I intend to circulate around relatives, but I can't possibly send the ones of dd. I will have to get them done again, which will cost a lot again.

dd is a bit hurt, so I don't want to tell her that I am not going to buy the school photos, as she is rather down at the moment, and would be very upset by anything she perceived as rejection.

I feel that the school should have monitored things a bit more closely. When I was 11, makeup was forbidden in our school. Or if they were going to get a signature beforehand, they could easily have added a box saying "my child is/is not allowed to wear makeup in the photo" so that people who wanted it could wear it.
I bet teachers will kick at the thought of yet more work, but right now I feel like not letting dd in the photos next year.

OP posts:
Mutt · 20/06/2008 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missblythe · 20/06/2008 20:08

Surely the lipstick is not allowed as part of the school uniform policy?

I would have thought that teh teachers would check that the girls are not made up, and also that their hair is neat etc.

How annoying for you.

No, YANBU

MrsWeasley · 20/06/2008 20:08

It is very common for 11 year olds to wear make up to school where we are and some of them do look OTT with it on. The non make up wearers are definately in the minority!

Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:09

Her bottom lip was quivering when I said "I think you would have looked better without the lipstick, don't you agree?"

I hope she will say no next time!!

OP posts:
micci25 · 20/06/2008 20:09

i actually think you are over reacting a touch. its only a bit of lipstick, you will look back the photos and laugh about it one day.

when dd1 had her first photos taken in nursery she had on a lovely pink trouser set and..........a turkish belly dancing outfit!!! no one could persuede her to take it off so she just had photos with it on.

Mutt · 20/06/2008 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

constancereader · 20/06/2008 20:10

Perhaps they didn't notice.
Or maybe they thought that you had sent her in like that deliberately.

MicrowaveOnly · 20/06/2008 20:11

why do you let your daughter wear lipstick..and then blame the teachers?if she looks silly in lipstick then tell her so. She'll never learn otherwise!

its bad enough you have to sign a consent form to have their photo taken, do parents really need to also tick a list of obvious things they should or shouldn't wear?!!!

She has to take responsibility for her actions.

Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:12

micci, we don't wear makeup, and ex h's family would certainly raise their eyebrows.

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 20/06/2008 20:12

really missblythe?? dd's primary school couldnt care less what they looked like for photos hence a few years of dd's I didnt evenb buy they were so awful (in a dragged-thru-hedge-backwards type of way)

I think you should tell her youre not going to buy the photos and why.

Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:13

microwave, I did not let her wear it. One of the other girls had some, and put it on dd. The teacher apparently wasn't monitoring it.

OP posts:
MrsWeasley · 20/06/2008 20:14

Mutt: Its a pain believe me! I have a 12 yo DD and on her first day at senior school last year she walked home with her pals and she was the only one not wearing makeup.

She was put under so much pressure, Girls even brought makeup into school for her to wear because they insisted she should be wearing it!
She managed to stand her ground for just over a year.

MicrowaveOnly · 20/06/2008 20:16

hmm nighny it seems you might have to let her wear make-up so she learns how to put it on straight and then DOESN'T look bad next time

Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:17

Mrs Weasley I would freak.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:18

No way, micro, Ill send her to lucie clayton when she's 18 to learn how to put it on properly, till then I insist on the scrubbed look not scrubber

OP posts:
misdee · 20/06/2008 20:18

dd1 at age 8 is already having pressure to wear make up. so for xmas she got some nivea lip glosses.

MicrowaveOnly · 20/06/2008 20:20

agree with you nighby..our school policy is "smart not tart", I love saying it!

MicrowaveOnly · 20/06/2008 20:22

maybe we could change it to "scrubbed not scrubber"

AbbeyA · 20/06/2008 20:24

Make up is not allowed at my DCs school.
I doubt if they would notice for the photo, I never get a decent one because it is so quick-sit down-click-next!

Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:27

he he
I love "smart not tart"

OP posts:
missblythe · 20/06/2008 20:30

Really, Moss? Am surprised, as thought teh school would get a cut of teh photo money, so would want as amny pare ts to buy as possible. I will look forward to all that when DD starts having school pics!

When I had my school photos, even in junior school, I remember there was a box of bright orange plastic combs and a mirror as you went into the room with the photographer, and you were expected to tidy yourself up, sort out collars, hems etc, as well as neaten hair.

Though I think on balance I'd prefer bird's nest hair to hello-Vegas make-up.

Nighbynight, are the girls at your Dd's school allowed to wear make-up then?

Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:36

apparently they are (was not aware before). It is a german school. Still feel cross with teacher for not monitoring them though.

dd has just seen this thread, and read it with her mouth open in horror!
We are going to get the photos done again.

OP posts:
MicrowaveOnly · 20/06/2008 20:38

what did she find horrifying?

allgonebellyup · 20/06/2008 20:41

i will chase after my dd with a flannel/scrubbing brush if she ever tries to wear any make up before the age of 15!

and this is from someone who got pg with her dd at 18 and has worn make up since 13

Original poster
Nighbynight · 20/06/2008 20:42

mummy talking to other mums on the internet.

OP posts: