To expect the school not to let dd have her photo taken with lipstick on?

[Nighbynight]

this is actually a genuine question to teachers.

dd had her school photo, and I had to sign a paper giving my consent for her to be photographed. The other girls persuaded her that wearing lipstick would be a good idea. We got the photos today, she looks awful and the lipstick is really obvious.

The photos cost 30 euros per pack. I have got photos of all my other children, that I intend to circulate around relatives, but I can't possibly send the ones of dd. I will have to get them done again, which will cost a lot again.

dd is a bit hurt, so I don't want to tell her that I am not going to buy the school photos, as she is rather down at the moment, and would be very upset by anything she perceived as rejection.

I feel that the school should have monitored things a bit more closely. When I was 11, makeup was forbidden in our school. Or if they were going to get a signature beforehand, they could easily have added a box saying "my child is/is not allowed to wear makeup in the photo" so that people who wanted it could wear it.
I bet teachers will kick at the thought of yet more work, but right now I feel like not letting dd in the photos next year.

[tillystar]

I can understand you are upset at the photo but it does annoy me when teachers get the blame for everything!

I beleive teachers are there to teach, not to monitor the state of their pupils' lips and hand out little forms with tick boxes at every occasion.

If your daughter knos she isn't allowed to wear make-up and did it is her fault not he teachers. Just because she is vunerable right now and you don't want to tell her off doesn't mean you should be looking to take your annoyance out on the school.

[mummyloveslucy]

At my daughters school they are not alawed to wear make up at all right through the school, so that's 18 if you include 6th form. It is good though as I won't have to moan at her.

[Anna8888]

My daughter has new pink and bejewelled thong sandals from the sales and she will be getting her toe nails painted bright pink and it will look lovely with her little girl's plainest pink summer dress and cardigan and a plait

[Poohbah]

I agree Blueshoes, she must have felt very low at that moment.

NBN, if I was you I would have a chat with your daughter, tell her she is beautiful but that she is your baby and that you feel she is too young for make up. It's not her that you don't find pretty but the lipstick doesn't suit her skin colour and that you are worried that your relatives will think that you have let her wear the makeup at such a young age and that you shouldn't have done. She is 11 and old enough to understand and have empathy for what you are thinking.

[Nighbynight]

it looks lovely with flipflops though.

[Soapbox]

I think for me, it is different because no-one else sees it so I can't be judged for my parenting lapses but can privately enjoy the fact that I am not an up my arse conformist, whilst allowing everyone else to believe that I am

[blueshoes]

You know best then. It is just your dd's feelings afterall.

[Nighbynight]

you painted a picture that isnt true

[Nighbynight]

why is toe nail varnish different though soapbox? I feel that way too.

[blueshoes]

Nighbynight, have you ignored the rest of what I said?

[Nighbynight]

it is a pack, all the options are in it together. All the photos are already printed out, just to apply the blackmail, so that parents cant reject it!

blueshoes, have you read the thread?? I said that I am not rejecting them for that very reason.

[bobbysmum07]

Poor kid. If I were you, I'd try lightening up a bit. Otherwise you'll end up with a rebel on your hands.

[Soapbox]

Toe nail varnish is different, are as temporary tatoos! In fact DD has a lovely butterfly just above her hip bone! I bet the mums who were dressing at teh show tonight will be tutting at me - it does look rather permanant!

[littleducks]

if there is a black and white option that would be good, very arty

[Soapbox]

My 10 yo DD has just gone to her dancing show this evening wearing lipstick, eyeshadow and a bit of blusher. She looks like one of those awful US beauty pagent queens!

I definitely feel she is too young to wear make up - perhaps because she is so beautiful I fear make up won't improve her

I would get the photos done without make up, as you suggest.

I can't believe that children are going to school wearing make up at 11yo Mrs W I'm glad the DCs school is a make up free zone!

[Anna8888]

All the littlest girls wear toe nail varnish here in Paris (you see it when they take off their Start-Rite shoes and white ankle socks to go in the sandpit ).

[blueshoes]

Nighbynight, I would just buy the b/w or sepia one.

When you said your dd's bottom lip was quivering when you said that you thought she looked better without lipstick, I just felt so bad for your dd.

She was put under peer pressure, she probably thought she looked attractive and maybe even feeling a little proud and grown up, only to be harshly cut down by her mother to the point of not buying and re-doing the photo. And her mother complaining to the teachers, OMG.

It was a mistake, yes, she should listen to you (although I do personally think you are overreacting on the make up issue, but that is your call). Can you just tell her more gently seeing that this is her first transgression. She could not possibly know you felt so strongly about it.

[constancereader]

I can also imagine having an irate parent on my doorstep wanting to know why I had humiliated their daughter by making her wash her make up off.

But I still think the most likely explaination is that the teacher didn't notice. Trying to get loads of children to sit still and behave can be a little distracting at times.