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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Paramedics made my father go to hospital

679 replies

wecangoupupup · 02/05/2026 17:57

My father has atrial fibrillation. He has had this for years.

He has been told multiple times what to do in the case of an episode of AF. Today, he had one while I was visiting. It took a long time to pass, so in line with his consultant’s plan my mother called 999, after the usual medications had been given at home.

In the time it took for the paramedics to arrive, the attack passed and when they did arrive, it had been nearly an hour since it had ended.

They still made him go to hospital as they “couldn’t rule out a heart attack”, despite my father insisting that he knows his body, knows what an AF episode feels like and knows when it has passed. All he wanted was to go to bed and sleep off the effects of the beta blockers he had taken.

They still essentially made him go to hospital, saying that they would make him sign forms if he didn’t which showed he had refused medical advice. I was present and the paramedics essentially made it sound as though he would be at the back of the queue if it returned and he needed an ambulance again.

Fast forward 10 hours and he’s still in hospital, no doctors available to read his ECG or his blood test results, and he’s been sleeping in a hard plastic chair. AIBU to think this is ridiculous? Paramedics really shouldn’t be encouraging patients to attend hospital when it’s not necessary.

OP posts:
LoisGriffinskitchen · 03/05/2026 11:09

ThreadGuardDog · 03/05/2026 10:48

Son in Law is a paramedic. I asked him about this scenario. He says it’s absolute nonsense, and at the very least OP has misunderstood what was actually said.

If you are awake, lucid and you are a competent adult who understands the risks, you have the right to refuse care - even if that’s not wise decision. If the paramedics advise that you should go to hospital and you refuse, it’s treated as informed refusal and they’ll ask you to sign a ‘refusal of medical assistance against medical advice’ form as evidence that they have advised you of the risks and you still declined.

In some cases where symptoms have passed and hospital attendance is a patient choice they will offer ‘safety net’ advice as to when to call again if symptoms reoccur.

You can refuse once, and if the symptoms happen again, you can call 999 again, and they will attend as a matter of priority. Paramedics have a duty of care and cannot ‘blacklist’ a patient for previously refusing care - which is essentially what OP is saying. If you refuse multiple times for the same issue, paramedics can suggest alternatives, such as contacting your GP, but they must still attend to assess your capacity to make that decision at that moment. If at any point they decide you lack the capacity to make an informed decision they will make a ‘best interests’ decision and overrule you.

Yes , but the OP is determined to be a dimwit about this. Let her waste time on her complaint. As a previous NHS employee I can tell her that stupid complaints like hers get passed around the office and people laugh before someone does an easy read letter telling the complainant they are an idiot. It won’t be obvious you’re being called “idiot” but that’s what it will mean,

Dellsearch · 03/05/2026 11:17

ApplebyArrows · 03/05/2026 08:34

Just to clarify from people who think medical professionals can do no wrong: it is standard medical opinion that a sick old man will be better off sitting in a chair in a hospital for ten hours than at home in his own bed, is it?

As a medical professional - yes, because if he had had any kind of medical emergency (particularly heart related) in that chair, he would have been saved. If he had had a medical emergency at home, particularly with a long wait for an ambulance, he would likely be dead. So yes, it is a medical opinion that a sick old man with heart issues having just had a cardiac event that couldn’t be ruled out as a heart attack, is better in a hospital.

ThreadGuardDog · 03/05/2026 11:21

wecangoupupup · 02/05/2026 18:25

He does not need to be there. Chronic AF can be a risk factor, but only if it is chronic. Not a transient episode, like this one. I think half the issue is the paramedics have never heard of it so don’t know how to treat it.

The notion that paramedics don’t know what AF is, is utterly ridiculous. As is the suggestion that they told you that they would not attend a second time. My Son in Law is a paramedic and says it’s just nonsense. Either you’ve misunderstood or you’re embellishing. And what type of AF has your father been diagnosed with ? I ask because transient AF and chronic AF are two completely different conditions with the same underlying cause but different approaches to treatment.

You haven’t been specific about which type he has. What they do have in common is that if an attack doesn’t subside after self medicating or lasts longer than 15 minutes, then the protocol is to call an ambulance. The paramedics were right to suggest hospital attendance because transient AF can last up to seven days without observable symptoms once the initial discomfort has subsided.

ThreadGuardDog · 03/05/2026 11:23

ApplebyArrows · 03/05/2026 08:34

Just to clarify from people who think medical professionals can do no wrong: it is standard medical opinion that a sick old man will be better off sitting in a chair in a hospital for ten hours than at home in his own bed, is it?

Yes. Absolutely. Because he’s in the right place for immediate treatment should anything happen, rather than at home in bed where he could potentially die in the time it takes for an ambulance to arrive. Stupid question.

SerendipityJane · 03/05/2026 11:26

ApplebyArrows · 03/05/2026 08:34

Just to clarify from people who think medical professionals can do no wrong: it is standard medical opinion that a sick old man will be better off sitting in a chair in a hospital for ten hours than at home in his own bed, is it?

I am struggling to find the posts where people have said medical professionals can do no wrong.

I can find a lot of posts suggesting that the OPs medical determinations were less than systematic or informed by knowledge or experience. But that is a different thing all together.

Toddlerteaplease · 03/05/2026 12:28

PassTheCranberrySauce · 02/05/2026 18:02

Your mum called an ambulance, which suggests that it was an emergency. He probably ticked a number of ‘heart attack’ boxes, so the paramedics had no option but to proceed to A&E.

Its very annoying that he’s been waiting so long.

My mum has AF, she’s never called an ambulance. She did have an ablation, which improved things immeasurably.

Exactly. My dad has it as well. He’s also had ablation.

MissMoneyFairy · 03/05/2026 12:31

ThreadGuardDog · 03/05/2026 11:23

Yes. Absolutely. Because he’s in the right place for immediate treatment should anything happen, rather than at home in bed where he could potentially die in the time it takes for an ambulance to arrive. Stupid question.

Unfortunately there have been times when patients have died in a&e waiting rooms and also died in hospital beds unnoticed.

Sagealicious · 03/05/2026 12:39

Dellsearch · 03/05/2026 11:17

As a medical professional - yes, because if he had had any kind of medical emergency (particularly heart related) in that chair, he would have been saved. If he had had a medical emergency at home, particularly with a long wait for an ambulance, he would likely be dead. So yes, it is a medical opinion that a sick old man with heart issues having just had a cardiac event that couldn’t be ruled out as a heart attack, is better in a hospital.

Can't believe this actually needs to be pointed out...

CossyBunt · 03/05/2026 12:40

Stop phoning for ambulances then, ffs

Witchonenowbob · 03/05/2026 12:45

MissMoneyFairy · 03/05/2026 12:31

Unfortunately there have been times when patients have died in a&e waiting rooms and also died in hospital beds unnoticed.

I’d still rather be on A&E having a heart attack than at home.

These events you mention are the exception not the rule.

JustGiveMeReason · 03/05/2026 12:53

What's concerning is that there are now 18% of people who have voted, who thinks the OP is NBU Shock

watchingthishtread · 03/05/2026 12:57

The situation in the hospital is unreasonable. That's not the paramedics fault. They did the right thing.

stichguru · 03/05/2026 13:38

CossyBunt · 03/05/2026 12:40

Stop phoning for ambulances then, ffs

This! 100% when you phone an ambulance you either think

  • diverting medical attention away from those who urgently need it to those who don't need it at all is funny.
  • or you or your loved one really needs, or at least probably needs urgent medical care.
Assuming you don't think the former, then you obviously think the later. You can hardly then blamed paramedics from agreeing with you!
TheDivergentEnigma · 03/05/2026 13:47

I wonder what would have happened if the paramedics had left and then he had a major medical episode that was life-changing/ending?

Would the paramedics have had a complaint then too for not doing enough to make him go to the hospital?

BudgetBuster · 03/05/2026 14:34

JustGiveMeReason · 03/05/2026 12:53

What's concerning is that there are now 18% of people who have voted, who thinks the OP is NBU Shock

And people wonder why health services are in the state they are

Badbadbunny · 03/05/2026 14:52

TheDivergentEnigma · 03/05/2026 13:47

I wonder what would have happened if the paramedics had left and then he had a major medical episode that was life-changing/ending?

Would the paramedics have had a complaint then too for not doing enough to make him go to the hospital?

They could have just told him to sign their disclaimer/release form. What they SHOULDN'T have done was the bullying/emotional blackmail of telling him he may not get an ambulance next time. That's pretty close to coercive control!

user1464187087 · 03/05/2026 14:58

wecangoupupup · 02/05/2026 18:09

We called an ambulance as that was the advice of his cardiac surgeon.

The ambulance attended, said everything looked normal, and it was “his choice” whether he went in or not. When he was leaning towards not going, they insinuated that if he had a heart attack today, another ambulance wouldn’t be sent.

I know 2 paramedics. They would never say that. A heart attack is a code / catergory 1 incident and they would not refuse to attend. It doesn't matter what form was signed. It's a blue light ambulance incident.

MissMoneyFairy · 03/05/2026 15:08

Badbadbunny · 03/05/2026 14:52

They could have just told him to sign their disclaimer/release form. What they SHOULDN'T have done was the bullying/emotional blackmail of telling him he may not get an ambulance next time. That's pretty close to coercive control!

Were you there to hear what was said?

Therapyboop · 03/05/2026 15:11

wecangoupupup · 02/05/2026 18:02

We do understand that and he would have been willing to sign, but they were really quite forceful in that they think it would be a bad idea. They also made it sound like there wouldn’t be an ambulance later for him if needed.

He has had plenty of AF episodes and knows exactly what they’re like, he’s very experienced in them now.

So why didn't he confidently sign? He could've done if he was really that certain that he was ok. Yabu - he is at a and e because he chose to follow their advice. X

user1464187087 · 03/05/2026 15:13

MissMoneyFairy · 03/05/2026 15:08

Were you there to hear what was said?

I think the person you are replying to is on crack! These people walk amongst us.
You don't call 999 for nothing.

ServietteUnion · 03/05/2026 15:14

Oh, nothing from the OP today?

MissMoneyFairy · 03/05/2026 15:15

ServietteUnion · 03/05/2026 15:14

Oh, nothing from the OP today?

It often happens when posters don't agree with op, it goes quiet and we never hear from them again

ServietteUnion · 03/05/2026 15:35

Haha, I was being sarcastic, sorry!

Luckystar67 · 03/05/2026 15:42

wecangoupupup · 02/05/2026 18:24

Funnily enough he’s threatened a PALS complaint and they’ve magicked a doctor up to check his bloods. Quelle surprise, no heart attack and he can come home. Awful, awful treatment.

People like you and your father are the reason I’m considering leaving the NHS.

PoppinjayPolly · 03/05/2026 15:43

MissMoneyFairy · 03/05/2026 15:15

It often happens when posters don't agree with op, it goes quiet and we never hear from them again

Until they come on with the “ha!! So I was totally right!!” In this case, op will come
back Monday…the paramedics will be fired, doctors heckled and struck off.. and PALS will have given a compo payout of 6 figures..