Women’s hour - birdwatching. WTF is wrong with some women?

[crawlingovertheline]

Caveat first - I know we’re all different but COME ON women!!
The feature was about a woman birdwatcher called Lucy. She was encouraging other women into bird watching (wonderful).
However, as she was explaining her backstory, she explained how “scary” and “terrifying” and “intimidating” it was….picking up some binoculars. (Yes, you read it right, these were her words) and it was only after two (male) birdwatchers helped her that she felt confident enough going birdwatching.

Now listen, I know some people are not confident but REALLY? REALLY???? You can’t pick up some BINOCULARS without help from a man? (Two men)

Women have fought in wars, we give birth, some fight and strive to survive, are women so weak now we can’t have agency over taking up a completely risk free hobby?

What on earth is happening?
YABU - maybe it really was scary, terrifying and intimidating
YANBU - this is disappointing, come on girl wake up!

I heard it earlier as well - it was pathetic. I thought it was just me finding her so utterly batshit

All episodes see on YouTube if you ever feel like rewatching it.

That's great if your work from home job allows you to just stop and answer the door and let someone in and entertain them for half an hour to an hour. Some people have busy important jobs though, and will often be in an important meeting, and have a deadline.

I still maintain that people who ALWAYS answer the door, clearly have plenty of time on their hands, and are in need of some company. Other people are busy/working and can't just answer the door to every random that they are not expecting! (Or people trying to sell something, or scam them, or trying to offload someone's parcel on them!)

This 'some Mumsnetters are too scared to answer the door' myth is just that.. A silly myth - perpetuated by posters who cannot fathom that some people don't always answer the door when they are not expecting someone, for reasons other than they are scared! 😆 Most people are not scared, they just have better/more important things to do than answer the door to randoms who have not been invited and who they are not expecting.

.

Sounds so pathetic. I am not surprised at all.

Where do they find these people?

WTF is wrong with some women, falling over themselves to criticise other women in a rather sad effort to demonstrate how feminist they are. That’s her experience- why can’t you respect that?

I'm thinking they are good they are incapable of doing anything for so long that they start to believe it.
I think if switch off as it would annoy me too much.
Women who need somebody to help them do everything kinda give me the ick.

I work on railway engineering projects. Long dark tunnels, viaducts and such things.

Tbh it's a new job and it is daunting. There's been some real heebie jeebie moments!

But just imagine being too scared to lift binoculars 💐

Just because something is someone's experience doesnt mean it's worthy of respect.

I'm also slightly puzzled by this "birdwatching is the preserve of men" attitude. It may not be exactly 50:50 but its not that unusual a hobby for women.

You call it criticism, I call it empowerment. Two sides of a coin.

It’s also language, as PPs have said. Was she really terrified?

I think OPs point wasn’t necessarily about Lucy’s
experience and more about how media is framed.

Because, quite frankly, it’s shocking and disturbing and a serious problem if the women in our society are so incapable. We need capable women who can get through life without being afraid what men might think of them!

I mean, WTF. Who lives like that, and WHY?!!

How many kittens did you shit while typing that? 😁

I don't think believing a woman should not be terrified to lift binoculars is particularly feminist.
I was listening to the show and felt exactly the same as OP when I heard her.

Well, if you're going to go on national radio at least work out what you want to say.

LOL.
I always answer the door - unless it's an unexpected knock and I am in a work call.
Despite this I am able to do all the other things I need or want to do. Answering the door does not interfere with my plans. Very rarely do I get friends knocking on the off chance I'm free, but if I wasn't free I would just tell them so.
No one assumes I should drop everything, unless it was an emergency then of course I would.
I don't have a great deal of space time, I am certainly not bored and I don't need company. My door answering activities probably take up 2 minutes a week if that.

Chris I'd forgotten about the non appointment door knock crisis.

Why is it some women go out of their way to appear well, pathetic "oh I don't drive where I don't know where I am going " " I can't read a map" " I couldn't use a electric tin opener" " I'm can't use the TV remote "

All things i have heard otherwise intelligent and capable women say

She did say she was terrified.
I can't recall exactly how it went, but she def said how she felt (terrified and intimidated) before she said what the action was, cos I remember thinking WTF?
I thought she was going to say 'entering the hide which was full of men who all stared at me'.

I think you must get a lot of knocks on the door - possibly live in a more built up area than I do.
The people knocking and expecting you to drop everything for an hour is an entirely different issue. If you have a lot of people in your life that do that, and don't understand "I'm busy right now" then that's your problem, not the act of knocking on the door.

I just hope that if I'm ever in an emergency situation I don't end up knocking on a MN-non-door-answerer.

Ah, but they'll only shit in their own toilet (kittens or otherwise).

Get some lessons to help with what?

While I’m always happy to hear anyone extolling the joys of birding, it’s a shame it needs to be ‘made safe’ for the laydees to join in. I get what she’s trying to say, but tbh if you’re nerdy enough to enjoy birdwatching (which i am) you should embrace it and not give two fucks what anyone else thinks of your hobbies. As for being ‘terrifying’ - pottering around in a hide on a damp October afternoon is a joy, but it’s not exactly Everest base camp, let’s be honest.

I got DS into birds at a very early age - still proud of the time he was toddling about on the beach and said ‘oh look, a redshank’ aged about 2 and a half, much to the delight of passing fellow bird nerds. He’s a preteen now and his best friend is a birder too - she’s a girl and seems to have managed to overcome the terror so far…

As a lady birdwatcher (birdwatchress?😁) of many years, perhaps I’ve been doing it wrong all this time. Maybe I need some special pink binoculars to avoid hurting my delicate wrists?

Why did you find it bizarre? I was just adding my thoughts on why someone might decide to enjoy their interests in a particular way that they feel comfortable. Nothing bizarre about that.

I picked up some binoculars today to look at some moorhen chicks leaving their nest. Where do I collect my medal?

I agree op. This cliche of terrified and unconfident women who can only be helped by men, needs to stop.

All perception is, mate

Not UK based but, once you wade through it, some interesting conclusions about sex and birdwatching.

And by sex I don't mean shag. See what I did there?

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-025-08912-7

That is very true!
But it's sad and silly to decide you're not going to do something you might enjoy (like volunteering) in case someone asks you to make tea? Sounds like you've invented a scenario which has upset you. Just do it. If someone asks you to make the tea say no.

Same as not wanting to stand around with "the sort of men" who look at trains. How do you even know what they're like if you don't stand around with them?

And i would fall over in shock if anyone gave a shit what magazine you were reading (and even if they do, who cares?)