Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

I’m on my own here for sure but the more I look at this dress the more I love it. It’s the fact that it’s like a young child’s dream party dress. You’d need to be stunning to wear it and look great though but maybe your friend knows what she can wear. Good for her. And if you don’t like the dress that shouldn’t be a huge problem.

Yes, cowardly. Do you disagree? Do you think you were brave?

What exactly is wrong with OP not liking the dress? She didn't tell her friend that her friend shouldn't like it, or that it was bad of her friend to have chosen it. she just didn't like it.

The entitlement inherent in this idea that a friend must not show an opinion at odds with your own is pretty breathtaking. It's the friend who is the effort here, not OP.

You really can’t decipher the simplest of posts, can you?

Of course I fucking disagree 😆😆

Yes, I can. You could have been kind to your friend but chose not to be. Your friend will remember that. Unless you have a genuine reason why you couldn’t show some manners and consideration for your friend’s dress, you should feel ashamed.

Okay. So you think you behaved bravely. How were you brave?

There is nothing wrong with OP not liking the dress. There is something wrong though with OP using this thread to get reassurance from others about the incident while simultaneously laughing with everyone about how awful the dress was and effectively laughing at her friend behind her back. That is what is wrong.

You misunderstood the sentiment because the poster you quoted, who said “Bloody hell”, was saying that about the dress, not my reaction.

Cowardly and brave are two extreme ends of a spectrum. Why on earth makes you think the reaction had to be either one of said extremes?

You should be ashamed of making such a banana of yourself across this thread.

Because you’re either one or the other.

If someone wears a dress that looks like a Barbie birthday cake, they need to have a sense of humour and be not taking themself too seriously.

I misunderstood the sentiment of that post. I did not misunderstand the sentiment of your thread.

You do realise I didn’t post all 21 pages of responses?

Oh, didn’t you know sock-puppeting isn’t possible now that everyone has to keep the same username throughout the thread?

How did I make such a banana of myself?

But also part of being a good friend is telling them the truth. The dress is hideous.

With every post.

Did I suggest otherwise?

You can’t use more than one account on one thread though.