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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

974 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
32
JoyLoveJoyInOrbitNsoul · 02/05/2026 19:23

MayDaySunshinePlease · 02/05/2026 19:12

Even a self respecting toilet dolly wouldn't be seen in that!!

Hahaha..you may have a point
My Gran had a toilet roll dolly.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/05/2026 19:23

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 19:11

Thank you for telling me how strong my opinion should be. All these years I’ve been thinking my opinions were my own to navigate. Thank heavens you told me.

No need to be such a smarty pants.
You should have learned how to use a poker face on occasion as an adult. It is not that hard.
When your friend sees it on the DM you’ll learn how to use a poker face.

DownyBirch · 02/05/2026 19:23

newornotnew · 02/05/2026 15:54

I would never in a million years choose the dress, but I think you've been very rude and judgemental towards someone you say you consider a friend.

It isn't even that out there, it's just ruffle-heavy.

Given you know she wears more unusual clothes than you, I can't understand why this dress made you shocked.

How has OP been rude and judgmental? All she did was fail for a moment to hide her instinctive reaction.

SweetnsourNZ · 02/05/2026 19:25

shesarunnershesatrackstar · 02/05/2026 15:56

I’ve seen worse.

I think this sort of over the top ruffles and shine was very popular in the 80s. Along with lots of apricot.

MandemChickenShop · 02/05/2026 19:26

Don't worry about it.

Sidebeforeself · 02/05/2026 19:27

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/05/2026 19:05

Yes. Learn to use a plain face. Your opinion shouldn’t be strong enough to read it from your face, especially over a dress

It’s hardly important enough to do that. Friend enjoys wearing ‘out there clothes” but took a huff cos OP didnt like it. Maybe she should be the one to moderate her reactions?

DownyBirch · 02/05/2026 19:30

I suspect your friend reacted that way precisely because some part of her was telling her she'd made a really expensive mistake, and she was hoping that you would validate her choice.

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 02/05/2026 19:34

Its a metallic pink Dolce & Gabbana silk cotton ruffled A-line gown

Lavender14 · 02/05/2026 19:34

Haha I thought I was prepared but I in fact was not!

It's very very out there. I think to be fair, if you chose to be very adventurous with your clothing you know its not going to be what everyone likes. And I guess being 'unique' is probably a big part of the fun of it all. So I think she'd be quite unreasonable to ask your opinion on something quite outrageous like this and then get offended if you don't like it.

Equally, my guess is there maybe are ways to communicate that that and if you maybe focus more on the fact she's having fun with her clothing and less on what they actually look like, maybe it would have been easier to laugh it off in a more positive way? Though I'll be honest it took me a bit by surprise.

RawBloomers · 02/05/2026 19:37

You did nothing wrong, OP. You've tried to soothe her. There's nothing more you can do, this is now about her, not you. You'll just have to wait and see if she can get her head out of her own arse and appreciate that you are a separate person she supposedly likes and not just there to stroke her ego.

If she's like this a lot, or if you are constantly having to second guess yourself over minor things or pretend your someone you're not so that she doesn't fall out with you, she might not be worth the effort.

CrystalMighty · 02/05/2026 19:37

BorgQueen · 02/05/2026 15:45

I remember going to a wedding 4 years ago,
very posh do at The Corinthia in London.
The bride spent all of 2 hours in a £16000, yes 16 thousand pounds ( albeit stunning) wedding dress then changed into something that had apparently cost £5000 ( Prada maybe) and looked like it had come from a market stall for £9.99, my god it was hideous, a dirty off white, clingy and almost see through nylon monstrosity.
Money doesn’t = taste or style.

Wow 🤯!!

kermes · 02/05/2026 19:38

This is what my dress looked like when I was a bridesmaid in 1987.

Weeelokthen · 02/05/2026 19:38

If one of my friends rocked up in that I would have burst out laughing and would think she was taking the piss out herself. Where could you even buy such an abomination 😂😅

HughManity · 02/05/2026 19:39

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Bloody hell!

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:39

RawBloomers · 02/05/2026 19:37

You did nothing wrong, OP. You've tried to soothe her. There's nothing more you can do, this is now about her, not you. You'll just have to wait and see if she can get her head out of her own arse and appreciate that you are a separate person she supposedly likes and not just there to stroke her ego.

If she's like this a lot, or if you are constantly having to second guess yourself over minor things or pretend your someone you're not so that she doesn't fall out with you, she might not be worth the effort.

OP only soothed the friend after she made it clear she didn’t like the dress. Yet she’s now bitching about the dress here with everyone else whilst asking everyone to make her feel better. I can understand why her friend is so upset. Surely OP isn’t worth the effort?

CrystalMighty · 02/05/2026 19:39

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Oh my golly gosh

RawBloomers · 02/05/2026 19:40

SweetnsourNZ · 02/05/2026 19:25

I think this sort of over the top ruffles and shine was very popular in the 80s. Along with lots of apricot.

But it was hideous back then too and plenty of people said so. Of course the post-modern movement was, to some extent, supposed to be hideous.

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:40

HughManity · 02/05/2026 19:39

Bloody hell!

My thoughts exactly. OP sounds like a mean girl. The Daily Mail have now picked up this thread, so hopefully the friend will see it and never contact OP again. Your friend had a lucky escape tbh.

iwasgonnasay · 02/05/2026 19:40

BinNightTonight · 02/05/2026 15:33

I want to see the dress Grin

We NEED to see

CrystalMighty · 02/05/2026 19:41

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

It is objectively hideous.

Case closed.

Lonleyfox · 02/05/2026 19:41

Yes sorry, objectively hideous

Newnamehiwhodis · 02/05/2026 19:41

Just let it be. Adults can handle discomfort. You don’t have to like what she likes. She’s being very childish

CrystalMighty · 02/05/2026 19:41

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:40

My thoughts exactly. OP sounds like a mean girl. The Daily Mail have now picked up this thread, so hopefully the friend will see it and never contact OP again. Your friend had a lucky escape tbh.

Time to get a grip of yourself 🤣

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:43

Why do I need a get a grip of myself @CrystalMighty? Also, I don’t think that’s correct English, by the way 🤭

Pricelessadvice · 02/05/2026 19:44

Dear lord, that’s awful.
I try to be honest but not rude. If my friend wore that I’d say “it’s not to my taste but you’ll certainly stand out!” 😂